#1
Bitch of the Year

You say –
Shut your mouth –
And you call a ****ing foul.
You ****ing bitch –
Fall in a ditch –
I don’t give a **** about you –
Anymore!
So back the **** up and –
Lay the **** off!
You got a ****ing problem?
I don’t give a shit!
I’ll just say –
“**** off bitch –
And go **** yourself!”

Congradu-****ing-lations
You won the ****ing prize.
Bitch of the year –
Is what I see in your eyes;
Not so hard –
To come by this shit –
Cause when I’m around –
You only start to bitch.
(Second time: You turn into a bitch!)

You can’t hurt me –
You only hurt yourself:
So turn the **** around and –
Bitch at someone else!
You know what?
Better yet…
I got a new ****ing plan:
Shut your own ****ing mouth –
And turn the **** away!
All you ****ing do –
Is bitch at us kids –
And we’re all getting sick –
Of the same old ****ing shit.
So shut **** up –
And take a ****ing seat.
The ****ing tables have turned –
So let us BITCH AT YOU!!!

Let me know what should be changed. I still don't really know what I'll do with it yet.
I started to feel really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't
- Kurt Cobain
Last edited by death eater at May 28, 2010,
#4
Innit, bro.

I you replace all the '****' with 'turd' it's quite entertaining.
Last edited by ParasiticTwins at May 28, 2010,
#5
Quote by ParasiticTwins
I you replace all the '****' with 'turd' it's quite entertaining.



It works well if you replace the '****' with 'truck' as well.
#6
"congradulations"

hahahahahahahahaha. great song.
Quote by BK202
Acid has been causing problems on this thread for a while. He just likes attention because he never got/gets enough from his parents or something.
#9
Lol well i was goin for like, a hard rock/rap. Thanks for the feedback lol. Some of it is funny ^.^
I started to feel really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't
- Kurt Cobain
#10
You curse so much it's ineffective. Try to lay off on it. I understand the style you're going for, but the way to achieve that isn't saying **** every three words or so. Cursing that much makes it come off strongly as immature.

Try to be careful with when you use that word.

And to completely contradict what I just said, I once wrote a poem with 64 iterations of the word fuck. I posted it on here awhile ago, you can go see it if you go look on the threads I've posted on my profile. I like to think that I made it work, however I'm probably wrong. Just an example.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#11
wow man, thanks. ill revise it a little.
I started to feel really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't
- Kurt Cobain
#12
I'm not sure what to really critique. It's completely trite. It's just a collection of vulgar phrases. It just reminds me of a kid in junior high whose first girlfriend just broke up with him, and who subsequently learned that using the word fvck all the time is cool. It really is reminiscent of Limp Bizkit or something. I would suggest finding a more eloquent way of expressing that you're pissed at someone. I know you probably know more words than just fvck, sh!t, and b!tch.

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1317797
#13
Not sure what kind of sound you were going for there, but if you want people to look at you as a serious musician then I think the lyrics need a lot of work.

But saying that it did make me laugh not in a bad way but in the way I do at tencious d, I thinkif you and some mates did it looking and sounding like limp bizkit or to a limp bizkit backing track and put it on youtube you'd get a lot of fan
s.

That's said do you want to make serious music or make people smile
#14
to poomahloo, lol. well i want bot. i have funny songs and some serious songs. i would wanna be one of those bands who like to mess around, but also hav a serious side. sorta like nirvana.
I started to feel really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't
- Kurt Cobain
#16
So take away a lot of the swearing and just make the anger basically through the music, note lyrics? That would be cool.
I started to feel really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't
- Kurt Cobain
#17
Your Not Cool. It sounds retarded when you say F*** in every sentence. It makes you look like your attempting to be a bad ass and your not! be more creative and your lyrics will be good
#18
You say –
Shut your mouth –
And you call a ludicrous foul.
You ailing wench –
Sit on a bench –
For I hardly give heed to you –
Anymore!
So, please, ease your anger –
Lay off!
Do you have a qualm?
I told you I take no heed!
I’ll just say –
“Leave me be –
And go entertain yourself through some other manner!"

The same emotion is expressed, yet you don't sound like a fourteen year old!
#19
Idk. Oh well. This song seems to be pretty much junk. I'll set it aside for now. Come back to it if I need anything vulgar, I suppose.
I started to feel really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't
- Kurt Cobain