#1
Hey guys this is the second song I have ever written. Still a work in progress but figured i'd put it up to get some feedback. More is to be desired from the lyrics and the little solo in my opinion but not entirely sure where or how to go with it. Let me know what you guys think, any and all crits are much appreciated and as always C4C.

Song is on profile:

Right Before I'm Wrong ( http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Swayver/ )
My Music
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#2
im liking the layers in the intro, sounds really good. drums not so much though. i dont know, they just dont seem to fit well. the tone is actually nice on them imo, but they sound off. hard to explain what i mean. at first i thought they were out of time, but they arent. i just got the feeling they werent quite fitting in.

i like the singing for the most part. there were a few spots where i feel like you stumbled a bit and i thought it sounded a bit wierd on the chorus at times. your voice fits the song though and i thought the verses were well done.

i liked the solo. not quite what i was expecting with those effects. but it worked really well with the song and sounded cool. liked the other guitar sound as well. nice and kinda gritty, but still articulate.

didnt really notice much with the lyrics, i guess i was typing so i didnt lose my thoughts, which makes it hard to listen to the words at times. didnt notice anything that was bad though

green link in my sig if youve got time to listen to mine.
#3
Thanks a ton for the crit man. Yes the drums are MIDI and to be honest only second time ive done MIDI drums or drums period. Still learning in this aspect and still not even 50% sure what im doing lol, but gotta start somewhere right? I'll just keep messing around with em a bit more.

I did trip over my tongue a few times, just didnt have time to do another take atm, dang neighbors up my arse haha. But an easy enough fix. Oh and on the lyrics I just felt they were kinda bland but do hold a lot of meaning atleast for me currently. Just threw them together quickly but maybe im just insecure a bit on them.

Thanks again for the crit, will C4C right away.
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#4
Nice song, I liked the singing and the guitar was great, the keyboard sounds in the background sound out of key in the chorus part though, could've been the guitar though but the guitar sounded ok with what was being played.
The solo was a supprise but worked well, I liked it.

Delboy
#5
Overall, great song. What I liked the most about it was the vocals, actually. You got a Chris Cornell thing going on man! Haha, anyway, great song.
R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio. Supplied amazing music to both me and my mother.

He will be missed.
#6
listening as i write.

to be honest this really isnt my thing but ill give it go ay.

1st off vocals sound good.
guitars are good.
nice rock vibe.
vocals get better.
this is defo a mongout tune.
nice flanger effect at 2:13
the song has good structure.

this is very good for a 2nd song uve ever made.

overall good tune.

not my thing but hey why not.

Do you mind checking mine?

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/smokeysteve22/music/all/play843886

Funk Thing

Thanks. good work man keep it up
#7
By any chance is your name Chris Cornell?? Haha, thats a compliment by the way. You have a really cool voice man I wasn't expecting that at all. The music was solid but the vocals were great, unique and powerful, I'm not a music producer but I think you have a good marketable recording voice man. I would love to hear you cover Black Hole Sun hit me up with a pm is you ever do it.
#8
Sounds pretty good to me!
The timing's a bit off occasionally, but apart from that, it's pretty good.
#9
As far as sound quality it is obvious that this is DIY but I can empithize with getting your recordings to sound good. The song itself isnt exactly my cup of tea but I can def hear your influences shine through (Nirvana, AIC). Best aspect would have to be your vocals and the cool sounding solo.

Check mine out? -> https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1319505
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#10
Good song! Nice and solid throughout. However, I don't really think the drums fit well with the recording. I think if you spent some more time working on getting them right, you would really love the result. Also, as much as I hate this as an overused modern recording technique, that style of music usually involves compressing the life out of the vocals and rhythm guitars. I recomend experementing with some compression settings to fatten up the sound. Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1319540
#11
Hey man i really liked this tune! It was produced really well and you have a sweet gritty voice. The only things i could recommend for the future is to do more vocal takes and make sure every note is on pitch (i am extremely guilty of not doing this), but if you're going for a sound where not every note is perfect (which i could completely understand), great job man!

Either way, AWESOME song. i'm looking forward to whatever else you put up.

Crit my song please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1320118
#12
Thanks for the crits guys. I really appreciate it! Will C4C you all as soon as I get some time here ASAP. And no altitudinous ive never been a perfectionist really lol, I know there is always room for improvement in my stuff so usually I do extra takes and stuff when I have spare time and am bored or something.

Neighbors are a pain in my ass, lol maybe some inspiration for a song haha. Thanks again guys.
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#13
crit as i listen.

i like how the song starts. its layered and soothing. till the drums come in. i think for your intro the drums need to be tweaked a bit. but they sound fine once the vocals come in. the vocals fit amazingly. if that's you then you have a very good singing voice. i rly like the guitar its kinda southern rockish/indy rockish/maybe even grungy. and layed back. nice slow paced wah solo. kept the feel of the song solid. at the end i would draw it out a bit longer and bring back another lil wah solo. but thats just me. overall i loved it good job
#14
As others have said, the strongest aspect of the song is definately your voice. You are blessed with a rock voice, sir. The chords for me are a smidge repetitive, and while you do throw some different chords in there right before the solo, I personally am of the opinion that a bridge after the solo would be B.A. Right now you go back to the chorus, but if you had the solo end on a high note, and then stripped the sound down to a more tom-focused drum beat with a new guitar groove and vocal line for a few bars.......I'm not sure if I'm making sense......

Haha, anyway, I liked the song, and again, kudo on your voice. The Dave Mathews cover was good as well.
-------

"So if 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then isn't 'congress' the opposite of 'progress'?"
- John Stewart, Daily Show
#15
You've got a very nice sounding voice. I can easily imagine hearing you on the radio or something. I don't know about the strumming pattern for the guitar. And I don't care for the tone and beat of the drums too much personally. Other than that nice job. Good solo. Vocals definitely shine in the song to.

Check mine out.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1320507
#16
Yeah drums are MIDI and pretty much the best kit I have to work with I think until I cant scrape up the money for a decent drum program. Not really much experience with drums either so it is what it is for I guess. Vocals are definitely my strong point I think and would love to sing in a band, just gotta find a band hell, Id do an online band in an instant if someone threw the opportunity at me.

Just found out today this song as been accepted for UG Community Radio, which is pretty cool. Makes me wanna write more stuff and just keep gettin better. Lyrics are about an ex junkie girlfriend and her determination to f**k me up in the head lol. Atleast she gave me something to write about haha.

Thanks for the crit man. really appreciate it.
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#17
Nice work, as you say yourself in your blog, the drums are the weak point,
I really like the vocals, reminds me a bit of chris cornell, and that's never a bad thing
Solo is nice, but could use some more drive , and i don't mean tone-wise, i quite like the tone, sounds talkbox-y
keep on writing man, i like your voice!

Our band could use a singer , come over to belgium and you got the job
#18
Hey man, like this song! The lyrics probably do need a bit of work, like they're nothing amazing, but your voice sutis the song perfectly and the guitar solo sounds great it fits in perfect! The only thing I'd say is the intro is a little long or something I dunno? All in all though good work!

Wana check out my stuff? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1317630
#19
Thanks for the crits. The effect on the solo is actually a pro tools phaser plugin just tweeked it to my liking, that sound is what I got.

@Freth, I wish lol.
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#20
Quote by Swayver
Thanks a ton for the crit man. Yes the drums are MIDI and to be honest only second time ive done MIDI drums or drums period. Still learning in this aspect and still not even 50% sure what im doing lol, but gotta start somewhere right? I'll just keep messing around with em a bit more.

I did trip over my tongue a few times, just didnt have time to do another take atm, dang neighbors up my arse haha. But an easy enough fix. Oh and on the lyrics I just felt they were kinda bland but do hold a lot of meaning atleast for me currently. Just threw them together quickly but maybe im just insecure a bit on them.

Thanks again for the crit, will C4C right away.

I gotta agree with your assessment on the lyrics. I think they could be improved a little bit. Just seemed kinda cliche (at least the lyrics I could understand). But other than that, the vocals are great. Solid melody, and I'm sure it will sound a lot better when you get another chance to redo them.
#21
Hi mate. This is a pretty decent song. The opening riff is cool and I like the layering but the guitars are a bit bland after a while. I think it needs to fly off on a bit of a tangent at some point. I really like the vocals though- sounds like Chris Cornell who is one of my favourite vocalists. Overall, very good, particularly for your 2nd song ever!

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1321889
#22
Sounds good, your voice suits the crunchiness of the guitar really well. It seems to get kinda repetitive after a while though, but still good for one of your first originals. I also checked out your cover of down in a hole - sounded great. Good work.
#23
Dude, fair play, your voice rules. Definite Chris Cornell thing you got going on. The song sounded great, with a bit of dynamics and some variation it will be an awesome rock tune. I liked the weird effect for the solo it fits in nicely. For your second song you've written it's pretty amazing. Keep rocking dude.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1321579
"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life.Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" ~ Billy Connolly
#24
The Intro is nice, the drums reverb plate is a little to noticeable. Make the room bigger, unless their real drums and you can't that is, lol. The guitars are quaint in their panning and presence, it makes the vocals dominate, which is cool, but if they were dual tracked and maybe 100/60 or something, I think it might sound better. Your voice is nice, especially when you really push it. Just like calnix, I checked out your down in the hole cover, GOOD JOB!

If you get a chance check out my thread,
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1322545
#25
Thanks for the crits guys, should have everyone C4C'd now hopefully.

Quote by Sami Philadelph
Your voice is nice, especially when you really push it.


Yes I think my voice sounds it best when I push it hard and to its limits, I never hurt myself or my vocal cords pushing it, but think I have better results that way and I get some great resonance that way too. A soft singer is something I am not and sometimes when I try to sing quite, ie. if neighbors are home etc. I usually dont sound as good.
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#26
Swayver,
The tone in your vocals is good, but it's definitely pitchy in places (perhaps pitch correction could help you). The song starts out well, but when the drums start, it sounds like your timing is not quite perfect. I think the song itself is good, but it needs some work. Please review my music here:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24356403#post24356403
#28
I really like your vocals! Not my type of music but it's sounds good for the 2nd song.
Don't like the drums either. But I understand you're a beginner with MIDI soo Overall, GOOD JOB!