#1
I now give you all my brand spanking new work of progressive rock. This one departs a bit from my usual work as there's virtually no metal influence this time around.

Influences include Rush, Coheed and Cambria, Protest the Hero, and Porcupine Tree.

So please enjoy. Crit for crit as always.
Attachments:
Prog Rock 5-30-10.gp4
Prog Rock 5-30-10.gp5
Prog Rock 5-30-10.mid
#2
I really like the first part. It has a very Coheed feel to it. I could imagine the lead singer sing over it. You did an amazing job with the bass and drums. The second part was even better, to be honest. I wish I could tell you to fix something there. I loved the following riff that followed. The only part that I would change is bar 30's stoppage but either way, it doesn't matter because the overall riff is great. Just felt it stopped for too long. Bar 46 bass part was amazing. 203's outro is frigging amazing, bro.

I tried to pick out parts in your song that were flawed but there wasn't really anything I would change. I don't know, maybe another person might find something? This is a great song, by the way.
Last edited by The Arsis at Jun 6, 2010,
#3
As I listen

Intro section:

A strong way to open the song. Definitely hearing the Coheed influence in there. I strongly dislike the melody you've chosen for bars 9-10, as it's a bit too much of a departure from the feel of the previous bars. You do recover from it fairly well, but again I really don't like that you ended the section off with a C major, it's just too tense, and it doesn't resolve all that well.

Also if I'm honest, it could use a larger dose of originality. It almost has too much of your previously mentioned influences and not quite enough of you in there if that makes sense.

Bars 15-25

Quite strong overall. My only real complaint is that you're a little too heavy handed on the crash cymbals. Personally I would have gone quarter notes.

Bar 25 is extremely weak though, especially for a transition. You should have both guitars and the bass playing that riff, and the drums should be doing some kind of lead-in to the next section or something.

26-33

Great part. and your use of pauses is very effective. Drums are a little weak though, some heavy cymbal hits before and during the pauses would really emphasize them that much more.

33-50

I like how you built the riff from before up. Basically same comments as before. not sure I liked that little bass fill you stuck in there though, was kind of a jumble of mud.

50-54

Kind of comes out of nowhere, and really doesn't keep with the feeling of the song.

55-70

Good part, again really hearing the coheed influence. Doesn't really fit with the song so far, but it's still a good part.

70-80

Another random riff. It's not bad, but it just feels like you threw another riff in there for the same of throwing another riff in. But beyond that it's not really serving a purpose, it's not moving the song to a new place.

80-97

ANOTHER new section. I'm beginning to feel a little lost in the song. There hasn't been a really strong section since about bar 50, and the song has changed so many times since then it's just become confusing and a little boring to listen to.

98-

It's good you brought the intro, and the sections that follow back, but it should have happened far sooner. I also liked that you changed the parts slightly this time through as well.

137-156

Sounds a bit like an outro. Kind of reminds me of RHCP actually.

156-174

Sounds like an intro to a completely new song. I've no idea why you've done this, but all it's doing is making an already disjointed piece of music even more so.

175-192

Combined with the last part this definitely feels like a completely new song. Don't get me wrong, this is a very strong section, especially that break at 189 (although there should be a big crash hit on beat 1 of 189) but honestly, this should be a part of a completely different song.

193-202

I liked it. Same comments as before, but on it's own, it's a good section.

203-end

Wasn't really feeling this section. You kind of abandoned all sense of rhythm and went for a wanky arpeggio outro, and it just doesn't work for me. I also HATE that you hung the song on a B note. The way you've got the last few bars setup, it's suggesting the song resolves to an F#. So if you want to hand the B, that's fine, but in bar 223, please. Hit a big F# chord.


----------------------------

Overall there were tons of good ideas, but a complete lack of structure or direction really harmed it overall. You had far too many parts, and the parts you did repeat were gone again just as quickly to move onto something that sounded like an entirely new song.

My suggestion is to tear this one apart, get your 3 or maybe 4 strongest parts (everything between 1-50 would be my suggestion) and structure them more like a standard song. I think you'd end up with something incredibly strong this way.

Anyway, C4C... My songs are in my sig. Listen to Mr Cool if you've got GP6, otherwise go for Melting.
#4
I really liked it, I'm afraid I can't give a quite as comprehensive critique as icronic :S haha

I love the Coheed influence in the intro, as they are one of my favourite bands, and tbh, that wouldn't sit out of place on a Coheed album (probably better than some of their new stuff tbh haha).

The drums are incredibly good, great variation and use of rhythm.

The main problem really, is the disjointed structure. I agree with Icronic in that you should rip it down and put all the bits into separate songs. I mean, I know it's prog, but there's a knack of knowing when to go a completely different direction or whether to just say the same.

The outro seemed to go on for ever, but then it came back again with the arpeggio section, which standing alone, is really good, but didn't fit on the end there.

Overall I really liked the parts, it just needs rewiring so to speak.


I would most appreciate it if you critted any of the ones below, especially the last one, as I am least happy with it haha You might like them, as I have EXACTLY the same influences as you have here haha