#2
Ummmmm........honestly, the title, lyrics, and guitar are all dull and cliche. The quality is good and you performed it well, but it is just too cliche and boring to me. I don't mean this in a harsh way........The plus side, I'd say, is you have a pretty awesome voice. It stands out a lot and is memorable, especially on the high notes. So I really like your voice itself, but not the song at all.


C4C? Mines a cover, but why not.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1305650&highlight=golden+ticket+manchester+orchestra
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My cover of Manchester Orchestra's "I Can Feel Your Pain"
http://www.mediafire.com/?jfvt54j4mkiiq99
#4
Like the guy before me said, it was pretty cliche. The lyrics were predictable in a sweet, acoustic love song sort of way, the guitar wasn't overplayed, and the quality was good.

If that was your intention, you hit the mark. If you were going for something a little deeper, I'd recommend you get out the old notepad and try writing some less cliched lines down. Unlike the guy before, I thought your voice was a little off in places and was too loud in the mix for me, though I'm not an aficionado of non-multitracked music in general, so take my word with a grain of salt.

Overall, not bad, but predictable. It was easy listening, but you could go a little further with that.
#6
I thought the voice was slightly whiny maybe add a little more air/ use your diaphragm when singing... i thought the guitar was quite good. Lyrics were slightly cliche
#7
Got some "Slayer" vibes to that song, definitely an interesting riff. Lyrics were pretty cliche, I'd agree with above... just because you are saying "Neo Nazi" doesn't mean that you are being anti-establishment and unique lol. However, on positive marks, it did remind me of Slayer and I think that the lead vocals were pretty good. My main concern w/ vocals were the backing vocals, which really interjected a bit too much for my liking. In all, I'd give it a 3/5, but it could be a lot better if you revamped it a bit.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24296930
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#9
(Looks at above posts): Haha, man you just can't catch a break can you?

For my own two cents, I'll say it's a perfectly capable acoustic love song, and if you busted that out at a campfire, you'd easily impress the girls. I don't want to put words in the above posters collective mouths, but it seems like by "cliche", the mean it's very conventional. There's nothing inherently wrong with that (heck, my songs are pretty "cliche" as well), but it just means you can do more.

Add a bridge, a tempo change, or a different strumming pattern. You kinda did this with the arpeggios, but I think a minor sounding bridge with some furious, angrily strummed chords would help take it to the next level. Also, experiment with vocal harmonies maybe for the chorus, if for no other reason than for the listener to know "oh, this is the chorus!"

Keep writing stuff man! You have alot of good things going for you!
-------

"So if 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then isn't 'congress' the opposite of 'progress'?"
- John Stewart, Daily Show
#11
i thought it was a very simple type of song,didnt seem like anything special but still a solid song.me personally though,really didnt like the singing.kinda hurt my ears.I like the guitar just though you could of added a few more notes in the arpeggios.

overall,i thought it was good
#13
Hey man thanks for the crit.

I think the guitar and vocal melody where probably the best aspects of this song. The vocals need to be polished up, and the lyrics I think are cliche and dont really go along well with the song. If you plan of keeping the lyrics, perhaps try a different vocal melody and slow everything up a bit perhaps. Kind of seemed like the vocals where chasing the guitar. Lots of room for improvement but thats not a bad thing. I think you do have a unique voice, just need some polishing.
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#14
Thanks for the crit.
As everyone's said already, lyrics are pretty cliche, but it makes a good love song. I thought the vocals need a bit of work. It's all a bit samey though, I think someone's already said, try varying the vocal melody a bit just to make it a bit more interesting.