#1
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Seb1uk/music/all/play846147

Ignore the coursework composition one, but check out rock 152 and rock 161. I haven't got names for them yet coz I haven't finished the lyrics and vocals for either of them. And there isn't any bass yet since I don't have a bass guitar, and the drums are all done in Ezdrummer. Not too sure what genre to put them in btw.

152:
there's no bass, or vocals, and i did the drums in ezdrummer, snare's a bit loud but i can't really be arsed to sort it all out again. guitar sound isnt great either and i didn't spend much time recording so it's probably a little out of time and not the cleanest playing. the sound levels are much better balanced in my other demo on here. it's just a rough demo so make the most of it

161:
i know it's not really the best sound quality but i'm still working on trying to get a good clear guitar sound. there's no bass or vocals recorded, and i know some of its a bit out of time and not played the most clearly, but it's really just a rough demo
Last edited by Seb1uk at Jun 20, 2010,
#2
Rock152 -
Great general feel, I love how the song moves around a fair bit with various different feelings. Though bass would MAKE this, I think even just midi bass with help out with quality heaps. The only thing I'd really change would be the dissonant break, it just seems a li'l random but I guess it still works.

Rock 161
Again it's great how the feeling of the song moves around so much. 1:06 would be insane with some dynamics on the snare though I understand they're only midi drums ;D
Big props for not throwing double kick everywhere like a lot of bands do these days.

2 great works that definitely work extremely well, mad work!

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1320277
#3
Thanks man. I've got a bass line written for 152 now actually, but I wanna try and do the vocals soon so I'll hopefully post up a new version of it once I finalyl get the vocals done. But I actually really liked the dissonant bridge hah, and so did a fair few others I showed this to. I wanted to develop on it more, to make the song a bit heavier, just wanted a good variation without straying too far from the general feel of the song.

And yeahh the drum dynamics really didn't work as midi haha. And I really like to keep the drums varied, I put a lot of effort into writing the drum tracks actually, but I'm trying to keep them playable still. I'm thinking of re-writing the section from like 0:30 to like 1:05 though. Just doesn't feel very strong but I'll wait for more opinions
#4
Rock 161 has a lot of really nice lead work. I'd try to harmonize some of the leads. Like Veil Of Maya style. Not same genre but I think that type of harmonization would put this over the top. I think it could work out really well. Can definitely tell you put a lot of work into these. Sorry for short crit but limited on time right now.

Excellent job!
#5
Rock 152 has some badass sounding guitar work in it, and the drum track is great too- maybe a little too loud though, kind of overpowers the guitars. I especially liked the breakdown-ish part at 2 minutes in. Good work.
#6
rock152 was sick!
real nice harmonies you got there

almost sounds 'tropical'

sorta like august burns red, which is good (Y)

drums were written real well too

guitar playing was tight aswell

some sick ideas in here, maybe drop the drum volume a bit, they sorta overpowered everything (N)

im sure ive critted this before though? :s
either that or i critted someone elses by mistake, or maybe deja vu? lol

meh!

sick tracks though man!
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#7
Hey dude,

nice work. Great guitar tone. Most important... really awesome soli!

I'd work on the drums. They sound pretty artificial. If I'm correct you didn't vary the midi input velocity, right?

Keep up the good work!
#9
There is a great feel as one of the above posters stated in this song. I really detest stale songs, but these were interesting and kept my ADD infected mind busy. I didn't think the drums were a s bad as I see lots of people saying, but I'm no drummer. Velocity on the snare could be randomized a bit more though. Anyway, on 152, i'd just like to say I'd counted it out, as it is very unaggressive and mainstreamy, BUT, the progressions are just so damn beautiful that its forgiveable. Some good leadwork also.


The snare on 162 is pretty ****ing rad, it's much more aggressive, the song that is, but still retains alot of that atmosphere of 152, which is a good thing. I like the tremolo idea, but i still think it lasted a bit too long, thats a preference thing though. Anyway, 162 is great also. So more awesome lead work, its fluid throughout, i like that.


Great stuff man, if you get a chance, stop by my thread
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1322545
#10
Thanks guys. I'll sort out the drums on 152 once I got the bass and vocals recorded which will hopefully be in the next few weeks.

Sami: I'm glad you actually said 152 was mainstreamy because I actually wrote that with the purpose of being catchy. It's pretty different to anything I've written before as most of my stuff is a bit heavier and more guitar-orientated whereas I just wanted 152 to be a catchy sing-a-long, without being generic of course. And same with 161, I tried to make it kinda catchy, but I tried to make it a bit heavy as well. I think the tremolo thing would sound better with the vocals on top, maybe. But thanks man
#11
Well, 152 is a really nice "happy" metalcore/hardcore song, I liked it, although I don't like too much solo-ish song (it seemed like a 2 minutes long solo hehe), I know a lot of people like it and that's good. The drum work was really great, but as some above said, if you're going to make a drum track relaying so much on the snare, change some velocity levels so it doesn't sound too much artificial.
I liked more 162, the drums quality was a little better.

I'd like to hear this with some good vocals but please don't do them emo-ish
Please tell which bands were you inspired on..


c4c, any original song longer than 2mins on my profile
#12
I liked it, but 152 was a little too "random" for me, it didn't really have a point, but you played it well. 162 was a lot better I think, but that's just me...
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#13
These songs are pretty killer. Not particularly original, but for what it is, its very cool. Vocals would make or break it. Put a convincing vocalist on this, and you've got some very VERY solid post hardcore tunes. It just needs some vocal finesse though. ...and some new drum samples lol. but thats trivial, its just a demo in all reality. I assume anyway.
#14
Yeah yeah of course these are all demos. I'll eventually be recording everything with my band. Thomasoman would you think 161 is kinda original atleast? And logan I'd say 161 is kinda Dance Gavin Dance inspired, but I don't really think there was any inspiration under 152.
#15
It sounds alot like Protest the Hero or some other mathcore band lol. The riffs are really tight and melodic, although not entirely original, but extremely well done for this style. I think there maybe a little too much trem picking on some parts, but it's probably just my preference. There's too much clipping on the drums, and the some of the patterns and fills sound kind of weird. I listened to your other song and the drums actually sound a lot better so you might wanna just stick with that sound lol. This is pretty good, not really my style, but I enjoyed it. Thanks for the crit too
#16
Quote by v2a2n2g2
It sounds alot like Protest the Hero or some other mathcore band lol. The riffs are really tight and melodic, although not entirely original, but extremely well done for this style. I think there maybe a little too much trem picking on some parts, but it's probably just my preference. There's too much clipping on the drums, and the some of the patterns and fills sound kind of weird. I listened to your other song and the drums actually sound a lot better so you might wanna just stick with that sound lol. This is pretty good, not really my style, but I enjoyed it. Thanks for the crit too


Ahh never expected a comparison to pth hah, I guess that's a compliment? I never meant these songs to be original, I just put 'original' in the title to say it was what I had written. But I was at least expecting 162 to stand out a bit. Yeah it goes a little fuzzy some times when the drums go loud and the guitars palm mute, I didn't mean for that to happen either. It's just supposed to be a rough demo for now. Thanks for the crit.
#17
quite enjoyed rock152. i like your tone and you have a good sense of arrangement within the whole piece. maybe turn the snare down a bit. the solo gets a little out of control at some points before the breakdown -- i don't know if you planned on ever putting vocals in this but you'd have to make a bit of space for them. still, very enjoyable to listen to, good quality, cool programming with the ezdrummer etc...solid stuff.

crit? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1327819
#18
152: i love stuff like this so much! i would like to write songs like this as well but didnt really get into it yet.
The song is great and the riffs and drums are awesome.
Bass would make this even better, maybe turn down the snare in the mix but all in all it sounds great!

161: sounds great as well, like it alot! the drums sound a lot better on this, dont have much more to say on this then add some bass as well.

Vocals would be awesome on both on these tracks but aren't really necesary, they do great without to

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1328092
#19
Hey, I listened to rock152 demo. I loved the intro. Actually, I loved the whole song. It reminded me very much of older Saosin, I don't know if they're an influence of yours or not, but it sounded exactly like a song they would write. As far as the levels and tone, you pretty much had it right when you said the drums were a bit loud. I didn't think the guitar tone was too bad, maybe a little bit digital sounding. I really liked what you did with the drums. It seems like a lot of times when people use programs to make a drum track it ends up being pretty straight forward and kind of uninteresting. Not the case with this song at all. I would love to hear this with some vocals added. It's already a great song, and I think vocals could take it to the next level.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1328305
#20
This is pretty good stuff man. I wouldn't really call it post-hardcore (personally). This is more post-hardcore in a Thrice/Thursday sense. Post-hardcore in my book is Fugazi, Unbroken, Hot Snakes. Seriously though, there are some good riffs in here. It seems like you know what you could do to make it sound better. I don't know if you're into Thrice, it definitely sounds like you are. The guitarist was really into these two bands: Botch and Refused. You might really like them.
Last edited by gabestigmatic at Jun 21, 2010,
#21
Thanks for the crit guys. I actually only started listening to Saosin like a month after I wrote 161 actually. I always try to keep the drums interesting so I'm glad people have noticed that. I haven't spent much time on vocals, but I'm not the best on vocal melodies, it's hard to tell if it actually sounds good.

gabestigmatic: I've never listened to any of those bands actually, I've heard of them though, I'll give them a listen