#1
Wrote this thing like 18+ months ago and decided to record and share. I've obviously gotten much better with song writing but I still like it for it's simplicity and charm. Crittique (sp?) please and be make suggestions. It could still use a solo but I'm in no rush with that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFuTfQA0_Ag

Made a few mistakes on it. It was the first time playing it in almost a year and did it once for the camera, my appologies for the sloppyness

Edit: forgot the damn video for a sec
Last edited by bdof at Jun 5, 2010,
#2
beginning sounds kinda Machine Head like. i dig it.
very enjoyable intro/main riff. would of course sound better as a full recording w/ drums/bass/etc. but you do what ya can man.

the rest kinda reminds me of distrubed and KsE.

i liked it overal. but the 2 verse like part where u just kinda played a few drawn out chords sounded a bit dull to me.

as for your tone. it may just be the recording but i think it needs alitte more bawls to it ya know. maybe turn the bass up a bit? idk.

put some vocal and that solo over that bro its good.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1321286 much appreciated
#3
Quote by LukasArt♂
beginning sounds kinda Machine Head like. i dig it.
very enjoyable intro/main riff. would of course sound better as a full recording w/ drums/bass/etc. but you do what ya can man.

the rest kinda reminds me of distrubed and KsE.

i liked it overal. but the 2 verse like part where u just kinda played a few drawn out chords sounded a bit dull to me.

as for your tone. it may just be the recording but i think it needs alitte more bawls to it ya know. maybe turn the bass up a bit? idk.

put some vocal and that solo over that bro its good.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1321286 much appreciated

Thx. You have a good ear to notice what influenced me for this song. Machine Head for the verse and use of natural harmonics and disturbed for the pace and harmony. My tastes in writing have changed a lot since this so I may update it some day to make it represent my current sound

As for the tone, the camera can't catch everything The camera was set a little high up so it prob caught most of what the Vader 2x12 cab was putting out. The 2x15 underneath provides a lot of girth to the mix, complimenting the EQ of the 2x12. Plus I had to have the volume lower then I'd like of fear for a lot of video clipping.

I'll check you vid when I get home. Since I'm at work I can't open it
Thx again. I'll try posting more of my new stuff soon. They're a little longer so I have problems converting them to youtube sometimes.
#4
Well I just got done listening to your song and it's got a lot of promise to it. For the most part the pace and song structure is pretty good, but like the people in your thread said it mainly suffers from poor mixing. The drums for it are kinda generic as well, but hey, it's a damn good start dammit and I don'teven have drums or bass or a 2nd guitar for mine, so I shouldn't talk
And are you really only 10 dude? Unless i read your profile wrong, that's amazing dude. Keep up the good work.

Oh, and plz for the love of God don't incorporate those gutteral vocals with your style unless you get WAAAAAAAY heavier. It was decent for that style, just sounded out of place

Last edited by bdof at Jun 5, 2010,
#5
hey bro.
glad to see i was so accurate on your influences xD
and ya i can understand the camera thing affecting your sound.
im suprised it didnt clip the sound myself.

and i'm glad u liked my recording. btw i'm not 10 i'm 17! w/ a few years guitar playing. its great ur pretty critical to. helps me get better.
ya i def need to learn how to mix and EQ. guess it'll just come with more practice
drums were a free program btw and i used my friends bass. i'm cheap lol.

and just so u know the extreemely bad gutturals/growls were just outta boredom. i prefer singing or a singing/growl mix myself. i just dont rly have the chops for it
#6
Haha, it's funny how you call them extremely bad guttural / growls when it sounded a lot like how bads like suicidal silence sounds except a little more degraded....but not much lol.

How come your DOB says November 30th 1999? Just curious
#7
cause idk xD i just fixed it though. you compelled me to look. it should say june 20 1992. nothing was right lol.

and i hate suicide silence. and similar bands like Emmure. there writing lacks bigtime.
nothing against deathcore in general though cause i still like some of it
but whoever invented the hardcore solo (same damn sweep pattern all of em!) should be shot! haha. ok theres my angry ramble
#9
lol yea like them random sweep sections that just kinda work as a solo. like at the end of No pity for a coward or pray for plagues. it kills me cause they'll be in every song! >.<
#10
Hello mate. This is good. The opening riff is very nice- love the machine head harmonics. The riffs around 2 minutes are also great. I think the drawn out chords are fine- they sound a bit bland with just the guitar but with drums and vocals it would be cool. Overall, pretty cool- add some drums and vocals and it'd be very nice.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1321889
#11
Quote by Richo1985
Hello mate. This is good. The opening riff is very nice- love the machine head harmonics. The riffs around 2 minutes are also great. I think the drawn out chords are fine- they sound a bit bland with just the guitar but with drums and vocals it would be cool. Overall, pretty cool- add some drums and vocals and it'd be very nice.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1321889

Thanks, I appreciate the praise and crittique. The drawnout chords (being the chorus) are kinda lowkey i guess to really allow furure vocals to shine in that section. Plus I was also thinking of kinda letting my bassist branch out for some Lead possibilities for that section. Yes, I know i just said Lead and Bass in the same sentence but I really think something on the higher notes of the bass overlapping those chords will be sick. Just gotta convince him to write something for it

Edit: Oh, and I'll watch your stuff later when I'm not at work anymore
#12
I liked the vocal growls.....but God those clean vocals need some work man, lol. Still liked the song and it's good and thrashy. Not a bad job of recording either, everything tonewise is pretty decent
#13
Nice man, this has some potential if you can record it without blasting your camera away with that Vader 4x12. Lol. The tone is nice, even through the crappy compression of Youtube. I would like to hear this double tracked and recorded with some SM57's, would be epic.

You can check out my stuff if you want.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24335271#post24335271
#14
yo TS this may sound random (cause it is) but how do you say ur username? is it supposed to sound like "beat off"? lol
#15
Quote by ethan_hanus
Nice man, this has some potential if you can record it without blasting your camera away with that Vader 4x12. Lol. The tone is nice, even through the crappy compression of Youtube. I would like to hear this double tracked and recorded with some SM57's, would be epic.

You can check out my stuff if you want.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24335271#post24335271

Sounds like a plan when I feel motivated enough to learn to record properly, I'm extremely uneducated with recording software and adding drums and all that
Oh, and it's a 600w Vader 2x15 on the bottom and a 240w Vader 2x12 on top

I'll listen to your stuff when I get home today
#16
Quote by LukasArt♂
yo TS this may sound random (cause it is) but how do you say ur username? is it supposed to sound like "beat off"? lol

Yes, you are correct. It's pronounced "Beat off"
It's my callsign I've earned in the Flight Squadron I work for. Being in the Air Force and being part of a Flight Crew can get you such nasty names But it's all good. It's the first letter of my first name: Brian, and the fisrt 3 of my last name: (will not post but you get the point) and I've been known to talk about masturbation publicly. Plus since my right forearm has increased in size since I started playing guitar more then 4 years ago it just adds to the legendary status of my name

It's also a family thing. When my dad was in the AF and started him out as a cook he had the kinda the same thing except his first name is Jack

That always cracks me up telling that story
#17
ethan_hanus,

I enjoyed your link song quite a bit. The mixing was really good and the tone for everything was better then most people on UG are prob capable of. Only beef was (like the other poster in your thread said) several of the bends seemed a little out of tune, but that hardly affected my opinion of the song as a whole. Nice job