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#1
The point of this thread is to recommend a low quality metal album that you love. Explain why it is low quality, give a brief review, and tell us why you love it despite its significant problems.

Mine is an album that literally makes fun of every other metal album ever. We must all admit that when metal bands take themselves seriously it can be very, very funny. And sad. And when people make fun of metal bands they have a lot to make fun of!

The photo from the inside of Megadeth's "Rust in Peace" is a prime example: lipstick?!

I am so NOT scared of Megadeth in that picture.

But that's a great album, so I won't waste your time with that here. Instead I will suggest you waste your time with this gem -

Macabre - Sinister Slaughter is by far my favorite piece of **** album in all metaldom. It's lyrics are pointless stories of serial killers and their deeds, the songs are mostly two minutes or less, there is NO musical development, and best of all NO redeeming "cultural" value to anything. Period.

While Ensiferum of Vintersorg may end up on obscure lists by Antrhopology professors, Macabre will simply die for no other reason than it is a pointless and stupid joke.

But it is a delicious, wonderful, hilarious and downright ROCKING joke!!!

Track one opens with lo-fi screams, a window breaking, and gunshots. Then the words "Swear to Satan!" are screamed and the madness begins.

The lyrics of every track are so stupid and mindless that they become poetry, sort of like how a modern "artist" immortalizes a pile of horse poop and it becomes a classic.

In short: I love this album. It won't teach you anything except that some guy apparently took his girlfriend breaking up with him a little too hard and ate her head as soup, and other random facts about killers. Why must music teach us anything important?!

I like songs about severed head soup.

THE BEST PART is that the drums and guitar are simply amazing. We're not talking Yo-Yo Ma, Juliard, stop you dead in your tracks amazing, just simply blazingly fast, incredibly excellent death metal madness.

In listening to this record I realized that these guys, if they cared to do so, could have produced something truly astonishing and meaningful. They could have put out some of the deepest and darkest, most brutal and complex metal music of all time. They didn't.

It sounds like they got drunk in Mom's basement and produced some of the most ridiculously silly metal music of all time. It's crap and I love every second of it!
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

Last edited by Bubonic Chronic at Jun 5, 2010,
#2
Fuck off, Sinister Slaughter is a great album.
Quote by ChemicalFire
The point of underground bands is their not popular or famous most of the time. Thus there is a good chance they suck.
#3
Recommend shit music that we like?

Opeth.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#4
hellhammer and charles manson.

like, quite honestly, neither are talented, but i do enjoy listening to both.
Quote by humperdunk

So I just woke up sitting in my desk chair, with my bong on the desk in a bunch of little pieces and my hand super glued to my penis. Speculations as to what the hell just happened and how to unglue my hand from my member would be appreciated.
#5
Quote by eazy-c
Fuck off, Sinister Slaughter is a great album.

I know. That's the point.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#6
Rec #2: Marty Friedman - Dragon's Kiss

OMFG!!! This is some prime wankage.

But it's Friedman.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#7
Quote by Archetype00
hellhammer... like, quite honestly, neither are talented


what is wrong with you...
Free your mind and your ass will follow
The kingdom of heaven is within
Open up your funky mind and you can fly

Sumdeus
#8
Braindrill. Haven't listened to the new album, but Apocalyptic Feasting is shit.
Pure brutal wankage, boring, typical tech death, but fvcking sick
#10
The Dillinger Escape Plan in general.

I love to listen to their music. But man, it is possibly the worst music ever produced in the world. I SMELL THAT WHORE. WOAAAAAH. BAAAAANG BAAAANG BAAAANG.
Cette nuit j'ai rêvé que je mâchais ses yeux
Après avoir crevé par accès de furie
Ta replète panse d'helminthes blancs nourrie,
Trop prompte à déféquer le fruit d'un vit sanieux.
#11
Quote by romencer17
what is wrong with you...
Just you wait, perhaps he'll tell us that he hasn't heard Celtic Frost yet.
I love you moogle

^^While I agree on it being inferior to both Pizza Time (lawlz) and UP, I think that taken by itself, it's a rather good album.


On topic, I don't think I listen to albums that I think are objectively bad. Perhaps Vulgar Display of Power from time to time, for the nostalgia, but other than that, nah.
Also, holy hell, an Aug 02'er.
If I took this cigarette and put it out on you...


...would you love me?
#12
Yeah I think Elements is an awesome album, only shitty compared to their other work. The riffing is a tad bit boring, but I love the leads on it. and Samba Briza is lovely.
Free your mind and your ass will follow
The kingdom of heaven is within
Open up your funky mind and you can fly

Sumdeus
#13
For that post, you get +100 cool points from me.

Mainly for the offhand comment on Samba Briza. Man, I love that little instrumental.
If I took this cigarette and put it out on you...


...would you love me?
#14
I like Elements more than Piece of Time.

<_<

>_>
Quote by ChemicalFire
The point of underground bands is their not popular or famous most of the time. Thus there is a good chance they suck.
#16
Tiamat - Wildhoney

That album (and Tiamat in general) is pure crap, but I give it a listen from time to time. Some of the slow-los are pretty amazing.

Plus I find it funny when he whispers lyrics like, "drippity-drop!"
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#17
Every time I think that creepy dog avatar has left for good, you make a return.

For me, Silence by Fester. Weird riffing style that you somehow feel is generic, but you can't think of anything else that sounds much like it...sort of wishy-washy vocals and odd production but all of it just makes it absolutely enchanting. I love that album!
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#18
Old Deicide.

It's like, "On this album we're really exploring a new dimension of worshipping Satan."

How far can you go with that, really? I never even tried to understand Glen Benton because it's pretty much "I want to anally rape Jesus" and so on.

Good, old school brutality, though.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#19
^Hey man, that song about Evil Dead was ****ing Bitchin!


Mine would be Lord Vampyrs De Vampyrica Philosophia. I it's a pretty awesome, fairly aggressive Black metal mixed with melancholic melody of Gothic, but it's all about vampire love and shit and if you look at the lyrics on paper it sounds like something a a fairly smart Twilight fan girl would come up with.
#20
Jungle Rot. It doesn't matter which album, they're all exactly the same anyway. Why they might be terrible? Well the members must be at lest half neandethal to come up with what they do. All the riffs are giant groovy slabs of death metal, but there are still sections with skank beats and thrash breaks that were left behind in the world of death metal before the nineties!
Also, keeping up with the Neanderthal theme, lyrically they miht be the stupidest band this side of 5FDP. For example, Psychotic Cremation(which makes no sense) opens with the immortal line; "IM GUNNA SMASH YOUR HEAD UPON A ROCK
WAIT FOR THE GREAT BIG CRUNCH"
which sums up the band in an instant.
However they make some of the catchiest and most headbangable metal ever.

Another awful album I love is Six Feet Under's Bringer Of Blood. One metal=archives review called it Bringer of lol and that truly sums it up. Chris Barnes truly steals the show with such amazing lines as "Uh uh, yeah bitch" or "a skeleton's hand shoved up your ass". Later, on the Track when skin turns blue(which chris vocalizes as "when skin turns blooooo" Steve Swanson creates the stupidest rif of al time. It's amazing, it's like chris barnes became a guitar riff!
The last song was meant as a tribute to Death, which is one of the funniest moments on the album as it's them trying to be good and failing.
Solid 10/10 boiz!
hoimhi0et0hm03oi
#22
Magero has us all beat, really. About 90% of his regular listening material falls under this thread's category.

As for me, Sepultura - Chaos AD. Max used to be a really fun guy, even when he was turning into a schtick baboon.
Dyer's Eve is awesome, and has an abnormally large penis, which doesn't act as any hinderance to his everyday life despite its freakishly large size.
For unrivaled obedience, user King_ofKumbucha is awarded this spot of honor.
#23
High on Fire lol
Quote by ChemicalFire
The point of underground bands is their not popular or famous most of the time. Thus there is a good chance they suck.
#24
I think you mean "Och Aye on Fire! Where's me sister, I'm 'orny like a newborn lamb oota jail!".
Dyer's Eve is awesome, and has an abnormally large penis, which doesn't act as any hinderance to his everyday life despite its freakishly large size.
For unrivaled obedience, user King_ofKumbucha is awarded this spot of honor.
#25
Quote by dead-fish
Magero has us all beat, really. About 90% of his regular listening material falls under this thread's category.

As for me, Sepultura - Chaos AD. Max used to be a really fun guy, even when he was turning into a schtick baboon.

Gonna go ahead and agree here.
#26
Quote by dead-fish
I think you mean "Och Aye on Fire! Where's me sister, I'm 'orny like a newborn lamb oota jail!".


So, killed any activists recently?
Quote by ChemicalFire
The point of underground bands is their not popular or famous most of the time. Thus there is a good chance they suck.
#27
Some of the power metal I listen to. It's so ****ing horrid, but i love it for some reason.

i used bold so that people will actually read my post before crying.
Quote by PwarDuex
your name is about as funny as a burning orphanage

#28
Everything but Morticians first demo is mindless and every song sounds the same. But it's so incredibly awesome at the same time!
Quote by Steve08
Acid probably makes you feel less like a hedonistic raver piece of trash, too.

#31
Going to be honest here, Uaral's Sounds of Pain is a pretty miserable album. The songs stretch on for far too long, there's a whole 6min track of a guy sobbing (actually they cry in alot of the songs), it's full of filler tracks, and in general it tries too hard to be emotional. It is one of the most sappy albums I have.

I still love it though
I can take a road that'll see me through.
#32
I'd say the most appropriate album in my collection would be Burzum, Filosofem.
Yeah yeah i know its like the epitome of ambient black metal, but look at it objectively, the recording is (intentionally) shithouse, the vocals cut through the 'ambience' like penang soup through my colon, and i feel myself age each time i listen to the 25 minute epic in the middle of the album. I'm sure Varg must have had some time on his hands ot create it, but luckily he did because paradoxically, when you think about it, it seems like it would be incredibly hard to create an atmosphere in an album such as that of Filosofem. Love it to bits. VARG4PRES
#33
Quote by Horribad
I'd say the most appropriate album in my collection would be Burzum, Filosofem.
Yeah yeah i know its like the epitome of ambient black metal, but look at it objectively, the recording is (intentionally) shithouse, the vocals cut through the 'ambience' like penang soup through my colon, and i feel myself age each time i listen to the 25 minute epic in the middle of the album. I'm sure Varg must have had some time on his hands ot create it, but luckily he did because paradoxically, when you think about it, it seems like it would be incredibly hard to create an atmosphere in an album such as that of Filosofem. Love it to bits. VARG4PRES

I think you mean Hvis Lyset Tar Os, Filosofem actually had good, non-ball shrinkingly horrid vocals.
#34
Above two posts reek of gay.
Quote by ChemicalFire
The point of underground bands is their not popular or famous most of the time. Thus there is a good chance they suck.
#35
Quote by eazy-c
So, killed any activists recently?

Only the scottish ones who commit incest.

I'm sorry, that was redundant, I meant to say only the scottish ones.
Dyer's Eve is awesome, and has an abnormally large penis, which doesn't act as any hinderance to his everyday life despite its freakishly large size.
For unrivaled obedience, user King_ofKumbucha is awarded this spot of honor.
#36
Next rec for me: Edge of Sanity - Crimson II

Now Crimson is a classic album. Yes, the idea of a death metal opera is both incredibly pretentious and completely facking badass at the same time. I love it. It is everything that is stereotypically metal and was created with either complete ignorance or utter disregard of this fact.

Crimson II on the other hand. Let me count the ways...

It's a SEQUEL!!!! ...to a death metal opera.
There is techno on the album. TECHNO for bejeebus sakes!!!!!
It's so disgustingly prog it makes Dream Theater look like Bob Dylan.
I'm pretty facking sure they not only used every single ProTools plugin EVER, but created new ones just to cheese out the album even more.

About the only thing missing is autotune. Why don't we bring in Jay-Z or, better yet, visit that piss-perv R. Kelly in prison to get his contribution?!

Still. For some reason I still like this album. It's what "Gimme a Break" was to 80's sitcom. Sickening. Horrible. Inexcusably nauseating, yet the sucking up the fish tank with that vacuum cleaner gets me every time...

Classic schlock.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#37
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
Next rec for me: Edge of Sanity - Crimson II

Now Crimson is a classic album. Yes, the idea of a death metal opera is both incredibly pretentious and completely facking badass at the same time. I love it. It is everything that is stereotypically metal and was created with either complete ignorance or utter disregard of this fact.

Crimson II on the other hand. Let me count the ways...

It's a SEQUEL!!!! ...to a death metal opera.
There is techno on the album. TECHNO for bejeebus sakes!!!!!
It's so disgustingly prog it makes Dream Theater look like Bob Dylan.
I'm pretty facking sure they not only used every single ProTools plugin EVER, but created new ones just to cheese out the album even more.

About the only thing missing is autotune. Why don't we bring in Jay-Z or, better yet, visit that piss-perv R. Kelly in prison to get his contribution?!

Still. For some reason I still like this album. It's what "Gimme a Break" was to 80's sitcom. Sickening. Horrible. Inexcusably nauseating, yet the sucking up the fish tank with that vacuum cleaner gets me every time...

Classic schlock.



And here comes Dyer's
Cette nuit j'ai rêvé que je mâchais ses yeux
Après avoir crevé par accès de furie
Ta replète panse d'helminthes blancs nourrie,
Trop prompte à déféquer le fruit d'un vit sanieux.
#39
This isn't really an album but the song Stick Stickly by Attack! Attack!. It's so stupid, its like deathcore deathcore deathcore AUTO TUNE deathcore deathcore TECHNO

It's so catchy, someone kill me.
#40
I recommend you to all carry on listening to the shit that you all obviously enjoy. It's terrible, honestly, the album of the decade thing was embarrasing.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
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