I like the main riff and the idea and the feel of the whole thing, but it just doesn't feel like a full song to me, it's more like an intro track or something... I felt that it needed a solid chorus part and a more traditional structure. It's definitely got good material in it, so keep working on it.

Also, it reminded me a lot of the couple latest Dir en grey albums, particulary the song "Disabled Complexes".

Guitars: Ibanez SV5470F, Ibanez Xpt700, Fender MIM Standard Stratocaster ('04-'05), Jackson Ps-2
Ashton AG200,
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Last edited by The^Unforgiven at Jun 6, 2010,
yo this is groovy as hell. cool.

during the break, add some cymbal hits to match up with the rhythm guitar chords
and make the drums' ghost notes into... not...ghost notes.

i would also like to see an identifiable "chorus" section. i think that would really strengthen the entire piece.
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Actually, the ghost notes are there on purpose. And I didn't add any chorus just because I couldn't come up with anything good.