#2
I like the main riff and the idea and the feel of the whole thing, but it just doesn't feel like a full song to me, it's more like an intro track or something... I felt that it needed a solid chorus part and a more traditional structure. It's definitely got good material in it, so keep working on it.

Also, it reminded me a lot of the couple latest Dir en grey albums, particulary the song "Disabled Complexes".
Gear:

Guitars: Ibanez SV5470F, Ibanez Xpt700, Fender MIM Standard Stratocaster ('04-'05), Jackson Ps-2
Ashton AG200,
Amps: ENGL E530, Bugera 6262-212,
FX: TC Electronics G-major 2, Behringer EQ700, Morley Volume / Wah
Last edited by The^Unforgiven at Jun 6, 2010,
#3
yo this is groovy as hell. cool.

during the break, add some cymbal hits to match up with the rhythm guitar chords
and make the drums' ghost notes into... not...ghost notes.

i would also like to see an identifiable "chorus" section. i think that would really strengthen the entire piece.
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#4
Actually, the ghost notes are there on purpose. And I didn't add any chorus just because I couldn't come up with anything good.