#1
crit4crit
HUNTING SEASON

Skeletons in the closet
Hide away the trinity
And regrets make us forget
All of our holy deeds
But the hell with your past
I see future paradise
Don't you know the grapes of wrath
Make for the finest wines

Love is all about compromise
But don't compromise your soul
Grab the wheel drive them out
Don't let demons take control

Sleeping with the enemy
I'm going to burn your bed
Gather all the ashes
And anoint you figurehead
You tell the best ghost stories
You give so many reasons
To believe you are the trophy
Of this here hunting season

Love is all about compromise
But don't compromise your soul
Grab the wheel drive them out
Don't let demons take control
Last edited by themarsvolta at Jun 9, 2010,
#2
Now this, I really like actually. Definately not a naive approach to songwriting. Id like to see how this shapes up if you put any music to it.
Question though...what style is it done in? Acoustic/Rock/Harder rock etc
#3
it's like candy.
if candy were words.
and in my mouth.
mmmmm.
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.
#4
This is fantastic. the only thing I would change is that there a re a lot of places where sticking in a word or two would really help the rhythm. Ex:

Gather all the ashes
And anoint your * head

* could be filled with a one syllable adjective making that line match the above.

C4C, plz.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1322731

EDIT: Sorry, the word should be two syllables and it should match the line it rhymes with.
...it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat
Last edited by c3powil at Jun 8, 2010,
#5
It took me a couple reads to figure out the meaning of this song, then it hit me.
I felt the chorus kinda threw things off, due to the line,
"Love is about compromise"
I don't really know why, it just didn't flow with the rest of the song for me.
..I was watching my death.
#6
I think "And anoint your head" might sound better as "to anoint your empty head", or something along those lines; just my opinion.

As is though, it's a great piece; very poetic, very interesting.
#7
I liked this line a great deal:
Don't you know the grapes of wrath
Make for the finest wines
It almost made up for this utterly meaningless gibberish:
You tell the best ghost stories
Also, I understand the ashes/forehead thing, but the word "anoint" makes me think of "O pointy bird, O pointy pointy, anoint my head, anointy nointy." Maybe that's just me.

peace