#1
I'm in love with this girl, but she doesn't want to go out with me, but she still talks to me about the problems she cant tell anyone else. Usually I'd just try to cut ties with her, but she's gone through so much in her life, like being raped by her uncle and abandoned by her mom, both of which she blames herself for, that I can't bring myself to do it, as she would most likely kill herself, especially since she tried to kill herself last night by taking 18 of her antidepressants. She was telling me about how she would always be lonely and she hates who she is, but her pills made her like that. Well last night, she called me and I got my friend and we drove her to the hospital since none was home with her. She's in the hospital still, but she still maintains some contact with all of us. This whole situation is seriously killing me inside, since I've lost almost 10 pounds in a week, and I can't sleep.
#3
Sad story, bro.

Get her some therapy?
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#4


I'd suggest going to the Sound off here, Hugs, or Relationship thread.

Or all three.
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#5
Sorry about that, and I was telling her to, but her parents wouldn't take her, but they most likely will now
#6
cool story bro

tell her to take 19 next time.
so kidding.
but seriously, she sounds like shes bringing you down. its nice to look out for people, but if she just bums you out, leads you on, and then tries to kill herself, then it might be time for you to skiddadle dude.
Last edited by GoodnightHero at Jun 6, 2010,
#7
Yikes...

I would just stay her friend. I know you'd do anything to help her out and stuff but being in a relationship with someone who has some serious life issues to solve does have its' downsides. And if you decide to get in with it, and your life gets totaly messed and stressful, bizarre and distant from what you expect, you'll only have yourself to blame.
#10
I wouldn't want you to get warned for spam, come post this in the Hugging thread (last link in my sig) and you can talk it out with us.
#11
Quote by GoodnightHero
cool story bro

Fuck off.

Like has already been said, the Hugging Thread is the best place to go.

Edit100:
Quote by GoodnightHero
cool story bro

tell her to take 19 next time.
so kidding.
but seriously, she sounds like shes bringing you down. its nice to look out for people, but if she just bums you out, leads you on, and then tries to kill herself, then it might be time for you to skiddadle dude.

Fuck off even more.
hello
#13
I can't do it, shes friends with all of my friends, and the pills are what made her so depressed, but she couldn't stop taking them, she just reacted to them wrong. If she did kill herself because of me, I would do it too, because I couldn't live with that on my conscience, that's basically killing to me
#14
Having been exactly where you are right now, I suggest you help her find her own place in life, and then step out of it. She is not good for you, and once she gets on solid footing she is best off with someone else. Just let go.
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#15
so.....yeah.....

shes hot right?
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#16
Quote by GoodnightHero
cool story bro

tell her to take 19 next time.
so kidding.
but seriously, she sounds like shes bringing you down. its nice to look out for people, but if she just bums you out, leads you on, and then tries to kill herself, then it might be time for you to skiddadle dude.


You can't just ignore someone who's suicidal just because they're "dragging you down." Sometimes, you have to think about people other than yourself. That's coming from a guy who cares very little about the feelings and safety of others. There are some times when you just can't do that.

Anyhoo, while I agree that engaging in a relationship with her would lead down a very bad road, and that you can't make her your responsibility and help her with everything, because then she'll never be able to help herself, do not under any circumstances abandon her comepletely, or cut off all ties. From your story, is sounds like that has happened to her too much already. She needs someone to talk to; since a relationship probably wouldn't work out, be that person.
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Last edited by pitobodies at Jun 6, 2010,
#18
Quote by Maidenallica
I'm in love with this girl, but she doesn't want to go out with me, but she still talks to me about the problems she cant tell anyone else. Usually I'd just try to cut ties with her, but she's gone through so much in her life, like being raped by her uncle and abandoned by her mom, both of which she blames herself for, that I can't bring myself to do it, as she would most likely kill herself, especially since she tried to kill herself last night by taking 18 of her antidepressants. She was telling me about how she would always be lonely and she hates who she is, but her pills made her like that. Well last night, she called me and I got my friend and we drove her to the hospital since none was home with her. She's in the hospital still, but she still maintains some contact with all of us. This whole situation is seriously killing me inside, since I've lost almost 10 pounds in a week, and I can't sleep.


A) You cannot overdose from Anti-depressants. I know i've tried it myself and had the lecture from the hospital.

B) They don't have an overly big effect on personality, it does what it says on the tin, just balancing out your emotions.

I'm sorry if I do come over like an ass and I do fully understand what she is going through and what you are going through.

You both need help in different ways.
She need's counselling, psycology and very frequent visits from the home treatment team from your local hospital or your GP.

You could also do with some mild counselling to help with your obvious anxiety and stress caused by this situation, free telephone numbers to samaritains, a stress/anxiety/teenage helpline and websites really help.

If you ever need a chat or someone to ask advice then feel free to send me a PM, i'd be more than happy to help you

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#19
I thought i was in love with a girl like that. I think it was just some sort of instinct or something though. Just feel like i wanna look after her n stuff.

Dunno if that helps.

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#20
Quote by GoodnightHero

but seriously, she sounds like shes bringing you down.


Exactly.She sounds like a dumb bitch.
#21
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obvious troll is obvious

how the hell is this a troll?
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#22
Quote by Chrisiphone
A) You cannot overdose from Anti-depressants. I know i've tried it myself and had the lecture from the hospital.

B) They don't have an overly big effect on personality, it does what it says on the tin, just balancing out your emotions.

I'm sorry if I do come over like an ass and I do fully understand what she is going through and what you are going through.

You both need help in different ways.
She need's counselling, psycology and very frequent visits from the home treatment team from your local hospital or your GP.

You could also do with some mild counselling to help with your obvious anxiety and stress caused by this situation, free telephone numbers to samaritains, a stress/anxiety/teenage helpline and websites really help.

If you ever need a chat or someone to ask advice then feel free to send me a PM, i'd be more than happy to help you


I'm sure she knew the medical reason why it can't work. She tought of suicide, then downed a entire bottle of pills. quite simple thing to conger up
#23
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Concerning your problem, just stay friends with her and see her through these hard times, people have abandoned and hurt her so maybe you should be there to show her the lighter side of humanity.
However getting to deep in this situation will effect your health like you have already said in your post but you gotta' realise the best thing to do is to just be there for her when she needs you and not get in too deep, for her sake.
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#24
Well, they took her in and pumped her stomach right away, and the doctor said it could have caused permanent brain damage
#25
Quote by metalblaster
I'm sure she knew the medical reason why it can't work. She tought of suicide, then downed a entire bottle of pills. quite simple thing to conger up


I'd like to see how you cope with being in TS's shoes, i've been there on both sides of this kind of thing.

Thinking of suicide is nothing to actually trying an attempt to end your life. It's the hardest thing to do.

TS, this is just a cry out for help by her and I know that as a fact. She needs help and quickly as it is.

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#27
Get her and yourself some counselling. Her moreso, but you seem pretty stressed as well.
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#29
If you take antidepressants mixed with alcohol, then you are in a bit of trouble, but ts, i think that if you wanted to be a decent person and not having this rest on your mind, you should be a friend rather than trying to get your dick wet for now (i know its more than just that but i am just using the turn of phrase), do what you can to help her, but also recommend she gets some councelling, as it will help her.

There is the chance that she is putting it all on for attention, but it sounds like she does have some proper issues, so just do your job as a friend, and let the therapist do their job as a therapist.
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#30
I am so ****ing serious. Make her learn CBT. Buy her Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns and make sure she works through it. The drugs are bullshit. They ignore the core problem of depression: automatic irrational negative thoughts.
#32
Girls who have had some trauma from older male figures usually get their "attraction wiring" messed up and tend to reenact abusive scenarios. You seem like a caring guy which is probably not sexually attractive to her (If I'm right all the guys she's gone out with before were probably jerks). If she goes to trauma therapy that will probably actually help her like you more in that way.

Really sad situation though. I wish both of you the best getting through it.
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#34
I think this goes in either the 'Can't say it sound it off here' thread or the relationship thread.
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#35
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
I think this goes in either the 'Can't say it sound it off here' thread or the relationship thread.
*reported*

Was being discussed in the HT, more appropriate than the RT as well.

Just sayin'

I probably should have reported it earlier. Sorry mods.
#36
Alrighty, speaking from being in the same situation:

Be there for her if she wants to talk. But, just give advice based on what you know. Make zero assumptions or guesses as to the issues. That's what the therapist she should be seeing is for. Plus, tell her she's a complete idiot for doing all that crap. And pull no punches on that point. She needs to know that she's just being a fool and that it's terribly selfish to put people, such as you, who are close to her through all that shit. Just because she doesn't know how to deal with her problems. And if she keeeeps doing the same crap, you just have to step back and say "Look, I've tried to help, and you have my advice, but I can't solve this for you. And if you don't make an effort to use this advice that you've asked for, then I'm not going to be part of your self destructive behavior." And at that point, if she doesn't get it, you'd better get out FAST. Let her deal with her demons herself if she's just going to screw you while doing it anyway.


...then tell her she's an idiot again. For good measure. And crotch punch her.
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#37
Dont get caught up in her own problems, if you want to be with them you have to let them sort their lives out, get her and yourself some counselling, you obviously need it.