#1
All screamed

The night slowly fades away
the frozen hell still remains
on the side where the bed's still made
I hear your voice calling for me

But then the dream ends
and I lie awake in a puddle of
dead memories
dead memories

With every minute of the clock
waisted air is breathed in
just to be soiled by blood
dripping from the blades of yesterday

(X2)
I think I'm alright
I think I'm okay
But then it all fades
and begins again

(X4)
From these wounds
I will bleed
all of the dead memories


With every minute of the clock
waisted air is breathed in
just to be soiled by blood
dripping from the blades of yesterday

C4C
Last edited by blubolt09 at Jun 8, 2010,
#2
it's very solid.
and exceeded my expectations.
i would like to hear the end result.
very beuno.
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.
#3
I thought "dripping with the blades of yesterday" was a great line. I thought there was definately a lot of rhythmic flaws, but I dont know how you scream it.
...it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat
#4
Overall I really like this. There are a couple places i think you could have chose a better word, for example
"waisted air is breathed in
just to be waisted by blood"
I think one of the 2 "wasted"s should be something else... then again that's just me.

I must agree "dripping from the blades of yesterday" sounds pretty awesome.
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You're whackin' one off in the toilet and you jizz on the counter?

I hope you never get a driving license.


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Dude mangoes are so good. Imagine a blowjob, but instead of the feeling being on your dick, it's on your mouth.
#5
@Miloh.core: Thank you ^^

@c3powil: All of my songs on paper seem to hold some kind of rhythmic flaws until I scream it. I've never been that good at emphasizing the rhythm on paper. But thank you for the comment ^^

@racman92: That was actually a typo. The second "waisted" is supposed to be "soiled." haha. But thank you also ^^