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frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#1
I thought it'd be a decent idea to just upload all the songs I've written that I think are fairly decent.
Crit any song you wish to, just let me know which song obviously, and I'll get back to you with a crit ASAP if you leave me a link.

Next to the name's of the song's (which aren't finalized seeing as many of the songs don't have lyrics) I have written what genre(s) I think the song is(are) OR what genre of music influenced them.
So basically if you find generic metalcore boring I'd steer clear of the ones which are just labelled metalcore as these are mostly like pedal riffs and breakdowns galore, you know the drill by now.
The ones with metalcore and another genre in the title will be metalcore influenced but shouldn't be as generic so maybe think about critting them even if you dislike generic metalcore.
Anyway you get the gist and all that doesn't just apply to metalcore, it applies to other genres as well obviously.

Also please listen in midi as the songs haven't been mixed for RSE.

Also the Zip file containing all the songs was too large so I've broken it up into the GP5 and GP4 versions which are then broken in two. I couldn't upload the Midi cause it would exceed the limit so if you want a midi file could you request it please and I'll upload it individually.

You can basically use this page as a crit machine, there's 24 songs I think so I doubt anyone will ever crit all of the songs so if you ever need a crit just head on down and crit one of these so i can give you a crit back.

You can crit any song you like but, if possible, I'd like to have Gravity and Abyss critted as their my two newest songs. Abyss is basically just a polyrythmic experiment but I quite like how it turned out once I polished it a bit, so if you like polyrhythms and Meshuggah-influenced stuff then maybe give that a crit.
And give Enter the Asylum a crit if you can be bothered, it's just a fun piece of nonsense noise and i'd like to hear what people think of it.

Also the lead part in the final chorus in Promise with all the sweeping and shredding won't be there, i was just experimenting and forgot to take it out apparently.

I've waffled far too much so basically I look forward to receiving some crits and then returning some!

EDIT: I just added a new song i wrote, it's in the zip called Post Rock. It's pretty self explanatory, a rather repetitive 20 minute post rock song that relies on layers to retain your interest as there's only a few main riffs. The ending is pretty epic, but i think theirs too much going on so GP ****s up the drums and stuff, if you listen you'll see what i mean and you'll just have to try and look past that. It'd sound much better recorded.

EDIT 2: The link in my sig, "Colossus", takes you to the page where my newest song is hiding. It's around 25 minutes long and is sort of like a one song EP, that's my plan for it anyway.
Attachments:
GP4 (1).zip
GP4 (2).zip
GP5 (1).zip
GP5 (2).zip
Post rock.zip
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Aug 13, 2010,
seemeel
UG Newbie
Join date: Apr 2010
130 IQ
#2
I really like the chorus of Fall from Grace.
Marshall amplifiers are the truest purveyors of rock and roll known to man.

"And give a man an amplifier and a synthesizer, and he doesn't become whoever, you know. He doesn't become us."

Holy crap, check this out!
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#3
Quote by seemeel
I really like the chorus of Fall from Grace.


The first or second chorus? There are two different ones.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
herby190
UnBanned
Join date: Mar 2008
342 IQ
#4
Critting Apologise as I listen (btw, it should be spelled Apologize; I don't know if the misspelling is intentional or not.

I'm liking the intro; starting at bar 9 is really pretty.

Btw, good to see someone who else likes to use bass chords, especially open-string diads.

Intro: Nice.

Chorus: A little chaotic, but I'm assuming that's what you were going for. Not the best transition out, though.

Verse: I hope you've got some lyrics to keep interest and flow here. The guitar part that adds in was a good idea.

Pre-Chorus: Kind of cool. Could have transitioned better to the chorus.

Chorus: Same as earlier; still didn't like the transition.

Verse: I like the lead here.

PreChorus: Maybe the bass should just play the notes on the low D for the 10th, 7th and 5th frets; might give it a bit more of a solid feel/flow.

Chorus: Addition to the original chorus was a good idea.

Bridge: I love this. However, that transition out killed it for me.

Solo: Pretty good; the tapping bit at the end was well-placed.

Break: Cool idea, and well executed.

Chorus: Good idea to start quiet here; nice way to change it up.

Outro: Nice way to end this.

Intro: Holy crap, the drums here sounded awesome! Great idea.


C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1322933
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#5
Quote by herby190
Critting Apologise as I listen (btw, it should be spelled Apologize; I don't know if the misspelling is intentional or not.

...

Verse: I hope you've got some lyrics to keep interest and flow here. The guitar part that adds in was a good idea.

Pre-Chorus: Kind of cool. Could have transitioned better to the chorus.

Chorus: Same as earlier; still didn't like the transition.


Thanks for the crit. I always get confused about spelling words like apologize, i don't know if it's wrong with an 's' or if both 's' and 'z' are right and one i just Americanized (<-- definitely a 'z' there haha)

I don't have lyrics yet but there would definitely be lyrics and i agree the transitions need work.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
metul kult
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
407 IQ
#6
Abyss sounds like the frickin world is ending man. Like the hand of god is coming down on everybody, but he's doing it in slow motion so EVERYONE can see.
It's hard to crit this style of song piece by piece so I'll just try to do a general overview.
I don't understand how you can keep up with some of these rhythms, haha. Personally, I love polyrhythms, but I'm still yet to figure out how the hell that all stays in 4/4
You have some very good layering too, and made good use of the koto to put that extra doomy, deathy feel to it. The song itself is quite frightening, and could probably scare many small children :P
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
1,554 IQ
#7
Quote by herby190
Critting Apologise as I listen (btw, it should be spelled Apologize; I don't know if the misspelling is intentional or not.


Some of us are English, you know.

Just giving some of the songs a listen now. I wont go into detail so much, I'll just generalize.

The Sun Will Rise is awesome. 10/10.

Live Wire was a good listen, postchourus reminded me of Deathcar. Verses sounded like a little something Reuben might do, in parts. Another 10/10 from me.

Lost, started making sense to me as more instruments came in. I wasn't sure at first though, but as a whole, I liked it. 8/10, just because I wasn't sure at the very begining.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Last edited by Carl6661 at Jun 8, 2010,
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#8
Quote by Carl6661

Live Wire was a good listen, postchourus reminded me of Deathcar.


Thanks for the crit and the praise
And yes that postchorus is a bit too strongly influenced by Deathcar if i'm honest
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
1,554 IQ
#9
Quote by frankibo
Thanks for the crit and the praise
And yes that postchorus is a bit too strongly influenced by Deathcar if i'm honest


I wouldn't say it's too obvious, to be honest. I mean, Deathcar has several time sig' changes in the verse/main riff thingy (Whatever you want to call it). From what I remember about this song, that was mostly 4/4. It was the 668 chord stabs that gave it away for me. You'd have to be a pretty big Fightstar-bore to pick up on that
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#10
Quote by Carl6661
You'd have to be a pretty big Fightstar-bore to pick up on that


Yeah you probably would, but I do that with your songs as well, find the smallest things that are similar to fightstar songs
My songs are all located here .
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Colossus
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
1,554 IQ
#11
Quote by frankibo
Yeah you probably would, but I do that with your songs as well, find the smallest things that are similar to fightstar songs


I don't blame you for that, alot of my stuff sounds considerabley like them. Which yeah, I like, but I don't want to just be ripping them off with EVERYTHING I write. But I haven't really finished a song decently for a few months now, with any luck, stuff will soon pick up though.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#12
I'm not going to do a full crit, but some of your songs are good (Masquerade, Lost, Live Wire) and some of them are absolutely awfull (I dont care if you swing). Seriously, in that song you try too hard to be awkward and "br00tulz". And there was another like that but I forgot the name of if lol.

EDIT: Fxied mai pseling.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jun 9, 2010,
herby190
UnBanned
Join date: Mar 2008
342 IQ
#13
Critting "Lost" as I listen:

I like this bassline, and the drums that add in are great.

Wow, this keeps getting better; the guitars are great too.

The part where all the instruments start doing dotted halves is cool.

At 81, I think the guitars should have a chord to hold out over the bassline.

Starting at 105, it seems like you might want to bring a new riff in.

Scratch that; the triplets on the first guitar definitely cover that.

Wow; the strings are a great idea; it makes it very epic.

The ending is nice too.

I really don't have any complaints; I mean, there's only really one main progression in the song, but you made it work pretty well.

I'm going to be back to crit more later. For now, I updated Interlude; would you mind checking it out again?
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#14
Quote by Ometh
some of them are absolutely awfull (I dont care if you swing). Seriously, in that song you try too hard to be awkward and "br00tulz"


Really? That's one of the ones i prefer. I mean you're entitled to your opinion but i don't think i tried to be brutal at all in that song. The intro is just meant to be epic and atmospheric, the verses are meant to be chaotic and i experimented with different harmonization instead of just thirds and the breakdown has a swing feel to it, which isn't brutal at all
A lot of the song is just meant to be pretty funky so i'm surprised you got the vibe you did from it.

But each to their own i guess.

Anything you want me to crit?

And if possible could you go through and let me know what you actually didn't like about some of the other songs, i'm all for improving. And for every song you crit i'll C4C of course
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Jun 9, 2010,
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#15
Quote by Carl6661
I don't blame you for that, alot of my stuff sounds considerabley like them. Which yeah, I like, but I don't want to just be ripping them off with EVERYTHING I write. But I haven't really finished a song decently for a few months now, with any luck, stuff will soon pick up though.


Nah i don't think you've ever ripped something off completely but i can often see the influence.
I look forward to hearing any new material you might produce, it always makes me happy to see what you create
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#16
Quote by frankibo
Really? That's one of the ones i prefer. I mean you're entitled to your opinion but i don't think i tried to be brutal at all in that song. The intro is just meant to be epic and atmospheric, the verses are meant to be chaotic and i experimented with different harmonization instead of just thirds and the breakdown has a swing feel to it, which isn't brutal at all
A lot of the song is just meant to be pretty funky so i'm surprised you got the vibe you did from it.

But each to their own i guess.

Anything you want me to crit?

And if possible could you go through and let me know what you actually didn't like about some of the other songs, i'm all for improving. And for every song you crit i'll C4C of course


Lol sorry if I came out as rude, I'm a **** by nature lol. And I was refering to the chaotic parts at the begining, they sound really forced IMO. I eventually regreted posting that comment because later in the song there are some really good parts, espeacially the ending lol, oh well. And thanks, but there is no need for C4C since the song on my sig is rather old, and unfortunately I haven't written almost anything decent since

EDIT: forgot to post the smiley lol.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jun 9, 2010,
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#17
Quote by Ometh
Lol sorry if I came out as rude, I'm a **** by nature lol. And I was refering to the chaotic parts at the begining, they sound really forced IMO. I eventually regreted posting that comment because later in the song there are some really good parts, espeacially the ending lol, oh well. And thanks, but there is no need for C4C since the song on my sig is rather old, and unfortunately I haven't written almost anything decent since

EDIT: forgot to post the smiley lol.


Ah okay. Well if you have anything you ever want me to crit just let me know seeing as i'm now indebted to you
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Jun 16, 2010,
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
1,554 IQ
#18
the post rock song is fantastic, the intro reminded me a bit of the soft section in Tonight We Burn by Fightstar. awesome start. the drums were simplistic when they came, but did the job perfectly. the beat on the drums in 41, again, simple, but perfect for what you're going for. the lead guitar, people will say it's not technical enough, i get that on here quite alot. if people say that, ignore it. i think its great. the harmony was a nice addition to it aswell.

the drums change up to a ride, a little predictable, but none the less, great . act II didn't really flow, i blame that totally on guitar pro though. songs always sound better recorded. the leads, yet again, simple, but really atmospheric and awesome. the song is very 'explosions in the sky'-esque. the octave things sounded cool aswell, lots of layers that are all complimenting each other very well . act III, again, started a bit abruptly, i blame GP though. sounding great so far, i can find nothing wrong with the song. act IV, i'm realising how long this song is, so i'm begining to generalize stuff a bit, sorry. sounds amazing, i'm loving the marching-snare type thing it has. act V led on from the section before very nicely. it was nice for the drums to finally use some cymbals though, really gave it an epic sound. act VI, the drums were especially cool here, with the cymbal stuff, then the tom stuff. act VII, i'm hearing overdriven guitars coming in, sounds like a build up to something. if this dosent build up to some epic stuff i'm going to be dissapointed . goes on a while, but still pretty good. act VIII, okay. i'm totally not dissapointed. this is amazing. act vIIII, as i said, all of your layers compliment each other. the synth arpeggios were a really cool touch. act X sounds great, i love the synth stab thing it has at first on the fx (rain) track. at bar 361, it gets really awesome. guitar 2 has that ringy out chord thing going on, which i love. the end, works pefectly, when i saw it, i expected just a standard fade out. but i like how it fades to synth, then that fades out.

86/10. no questions asked.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#19
Thanks for the praise i'll give the transitions a look, see if they can be improved
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
1,554 IQ
#20
Quote by frankibo
Thanks for the praise i'll give the transitions a look, see if they can be improved


i really do just think that's down to guitar pro, even with the greatest soundcard and the best MIDI sounds, stuff always sounds a million times better outside of Guitar Pro/standard MIDI.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
08L1V10N
UG Addict
Join date: Sep 2007
782 IQ
#21
That chorus in fall from grace would fit so well on an epica song :P
Quote by razorback91
Im sorry, I just don't see how you could argue that hardcore isn't metal. That just seems arrogant to me.

Yes, its its own kind of metal, but its still metal.
JazzDeath
Oracle of the Absurd
Join date: Aug 2008
231 IQ
#22
Lol awesome, well the first song I chose was Enter the Asylum, since I called my band Within the Asylum and I love dissonant music, I couldn't help myself.

Very ambient and eerie intro, it doesn't drag on to the ear but it makes itself want to be listened further, and when you heard that background distorted guitar you know you're about to get punched in the face and you're just cringing, waaaaaiting.... it's really awesome, I love the tension.

BOOM ENTER THE ASYLUM

I'm going nuts.

Oh wait the drugs are kicking in, life is pretty... spaced... out... woah.

Awesome man the mood for this song really kicks ass =D.

My type of music, definitely, it's what I would consider true artistic expression in music, even on guitar pro it sounds wonderful and conveys emotion. Well done.

Check out my Uber Folder in my signature or rate any of my songs! I'll be checking out more of your songs for sure man, you seem to have quite a repertoire and I like what I've heard up to now =).
Danul454
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
10 IQ
#23
I, too, listened to Enter the Asylum. I really enjoyed the creepy atmosphere that you set with it, it provided a vivid picture in my mind of some kind of asylum thing, and it sounds perfect for a horror movie. You did a great job layering all the instruments progressively and I completely loved it up until the third bar of the build up where the harmonizing comes in. I understand it's supposed to be dissonant, but that just didn't sound good at all to me. Afterward, when you Enter the Asylum, it just sounded completely off track. I still didn't appreciate the dissonant harmonies all too much, the synth sounded unnecessary, (perhaps a guitar solo/noodling would be better in its place?) and the blast beats came in at an awkward time (maybe if you had them the whole time you're "in the asylum"?)

Anyway, I don't listen to (or like, really) metalcore, which seems to be your prominent genre, (which is why I didn't review your other pieces, so I wouldn't be prejudicial) so maybe that breakdown thing would be welcome in the metalcore community, but it's just not my cup o' tea. However, I did enjoy the rest of the song quite a bit.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#24
Quote by Danul454
Anyway, I don't listen to (or like, really) metalcore, which seems to be your prominent genre, (which is why I didn't review your other pieces, so I wouldn't be prejudicial) so maybe that breakdown thing would be welcome in the metalcore community, but it's just not my cup o' tea. However, I did enjoy the rest of the song quite a bit.


Thanks for the crit, you made some helpful points.

And there are some songs there that lack metalcore influences completely like Abyss and The Sun Will Rise (Or whatever i called it, it's something like that) but I can see why you left the others alone, I'd rather you just did that then left me an abusive "I hate metalcore" comment about my songs haha.

Thanks again, anything you want me to crit?
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Danul454
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
10 IQ
#25
Quote by frankibo
Thanks for the crit, you made some helpful points.

And there are some songs there that lack metalcore influences completely like Abyss and The Sun Will Rise (Or whatever i called it, it's something like that) but I can see why you left the others alone, I'd rather you just did that then left me an abusive "I hate metalcore" comment about my songs haha.

Thanks again, anything you want me to crit?


Nah, I don't have anything I'm really confident with putting up here yet, but I'll check those other songs out in a bit, and glad I could help.
Danul454
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
10 IQ
#26
Okay, I listened to The Sun Will Rise so here's my thoughts on it piece by piece:

Intro: Pretty good, definitely sounds like pop-rock.

Verse: Still doing a good job of covering the pop-rock genre, very similar to the Intro so not much more to say.

Chorus: Much more powerful than the verse but still keeps the general feel of the song. The strings really do a good job of making the chorus sound as strong as it is.

Verse: The little solo here is a little dry. I understand this genre isn't really known for its complex guitar solos, but it does seem like you could have gotten a little more creative with it.

Chorus: Still as powerful as before, but the pianos bring it out a little more.

Break: Nice soft section, it does a good job of contrasting with the chorus before it, but after its first four bars, when all the other instruments come in, it sounds a little sudden, maybe having them fade in or just one at a time come in or something.

Bridge: Does a nice job of bringing the energy back up for the last chorus.

Chorus: I like how you started it quietly, but have all the other instruments jump in at once for a nice, powerful final chorus.

Overall, pretty good pop-rock song. Mostly they're lyrics-driven, so it's not all too easy to score this without that, but I guess I'd give it an 8/10.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#27
Thanks for the crit.

I'm sure there are people I've C4C who haven't gave me a crit.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Big0head0Bang
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2010
10 IQ
#28
Wow there are loads of songs :P lets do this.


Abyss:It has a really evil sound going on, everything seems to flow really nice, the drums are simple but tight and the ending is epic. 7.8/10


Apologise: I didn't hear the song yet, but the tittle is lame :P let's see if the song is too.Wow definitly too much major chords going on :P Not really my style, but I can still tell that it has quality. But not really something I would hear for fun. 6.2/10


Fall From Grace: Nice tittle. You used the midi seashore sound really cleverly (does this word exists?). It sounds really interesting and intriguing...I would no doubt listen to this for fun. Drums are perfect, I wish I had this drum writting skill. The calm part is really nice and the part that follows fits perfectly, even though it's a little unexpected. Overall 8.7/10


Enter the Asylum: Interesting tittle and intro. After a while this kind of sound starts to get boring. I would shorten it out a little bit. The entry of the rythm guitar is refreshing but I would expect the weird sounding melodie of the lead guitar would stop when the drums came in. I would avoid using so much of this kind of weird sounding, it's nice in low doses, use too much and you'll get tired of it. Overall: 7/10

Empires: This will be my last one for now, I have stuff to do. Let's start, nice intro, drums are really nice. The melodie is nice and interesting. The bass is perfect. The heavy part is nice, although I'm not a really big fan of metalcore. The chorus is pretty cool. The breakdown flows perfectly. The other breakdown is too metalcorish for me :b. Overall : 7.5/10
Julz127
And.
Join date: Mar 2008
134 IQ
#29
Just listened to post rock... brilliant.

I'll post a crit in a while.

thank you for writing that, there is still hope for those of us who come to this forum and don't listen to metal.
return 0;

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SOUNDCLOUD
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DarkSonata
Registered User
Join date: May 2005
111 IQ
#30
Listening to post rock

Intro- great post rock intro flows well

Leads- the leads are great over it...im really feeling relaxed...a truly amazing post rock song so far

A little more layered strumming- i like the building up of layers, couldve used a different guitar sound for strumming...personal preference...i just don't like the clean guitar that much

Wow...the synth run is amazing

here comes act 4....wow that hit the right spot...love it

Act V...good progression...again with the clean guitar

ACT 7...ahh some distortion in...i was waiting for some of that

Act 8 is also great...distortion comes in perfectly...feels like the climax of the song possibly

Act 10...can def tell we are getting near the end...that little part around 360 caught me off guard...the end synth is great

Man that was incredible...I am usually hesitant to spend 20 minutes listening to a guitar pro track but that was very worth it...I say record it now as well as most of the other songs you have posted. Thanks for that...everything was spot on.
herby190
UnBanned
Join date: Mar 2008
342 IQ
#31
Critting "Open Book" as I listen through for the first time.

Intro: Wow, a bit of a sudden intro; kinda hard to get into. (I came back, and changed the bassline to fingerpicked, for the sake of the RSE; I take back what I said, this actually flows decently)

Breakdown: This section was okay, but not really memorable.

Chorus: Feels a bit awkward; I might be wrong, but I think it has to do with the bassline. (After changing to fingerpicked, I feel it flowed a lot better; I take back my complaints again. )

Verse: I like this part, except I feel like some of the higher bass parts don't work so well; then again, it may just be because I don't like GP5s RSE for a picked bass.

Reintro: Again, it's just the bassline that seems off to me....

I feel like there should probably be a bit more of a transition between the chorus and verses....

Verse: All the extra stuff on the hi-hats and stuff just made it feel choppy....

Bridge (a): I thought this was cool.

Bridge (b): Nothing to say here, really.

Breakdown: Nothing really memorable here.... Maybe it's just because it's a genre I'm not into, but I can't say I liked this part.

Outro: Feels very sudden, and I don't feel it resolves the song very well.

I mostly just don't like the breakdowns; then again, I never really have been into them, in most contexts.

C4C? Either of the incomplete ones in my sig could really use it.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#32
@Herby,
Thanks for the crit, i'll get back to you with a crit in a moment.
I have to say that most of your complaints (apart from the breakdown complaints) can be resolved by not listening in RSE (because without carefully choosing the effects and then mixing it sounds TERRIBLE) or by me actually recording it.
Also i noticed i've actually put some wrong notes in the bassline by accident so i'll need to change them.
And i just listened in RSE and it sounds goddamn awful, listen in midi maybe and see if you feel differently about any of the parts?
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
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Colossus
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#33
Quote by Julz127
I'll post a crit in a while. .


Thanks for saying it's good, any chance of getting the actual crit though?
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
herby190
UnBanned
Join date: Mar 2008
342 IQ
#34
Critting "The Sun Will Rise".

The intro gets it off to a good start; however that might be a bit early for a chorus.

In the verse, I feel like it works better if you change the bassline to straight eighth notes. For example, in the arpeggios rooted at the open note, have it come back down and play the nine again, instead of stopping at the twelve. Try using some similar ideas for the rest of the arpeggios, and I feel like it could add a little bit more movement to it. Other than that, I like the verse.

I also like this chorus; however, you really need to put a crash cymbal on the first note of the Break. Also, do the same with the first note of the chorus that follows the bridge.

I also like the feel of the ending.

Overall, it's a pretty good song, but there's definitely some room for improvement.

C4C? Purity Complex, in my sig, could really use it.
Fdelo2134
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2010
10 IQ
#35
Alright I'm not going to crit post rock at this point in time, but the part,The Summit sounds a bit like the progression from Ecstasy of Gold, Ennio Moricone, which is awesome

Anyways I'm going to crit Empires because I like metalcore

Alright I love the intro, it really gets your attention. all the parts, drums, bass, second guitar come in nicely, and fit nicely

My only problem is the transition to the Intro. It's not bad, but I don't like it going into chugging, it just doesn't fit IMO

As for the intro itself it's pretty generic, but I don't mind generic at all. the chugging is really good, and the lead fits nicely over it. I like it

The verse is good everything is fine here

I'm not sure about the prechorus. once again more generic metal core, but this time it's boring and it doesn't get you excited for the chorus. maybe add some rhythm instead of just straight sixteenths?

The chorus is also good. does it's job and a good transition into the breakdown.

This is pretty good breakdown I like the harmonics, keeps interesting. I don't like transition into the clean chorus, it's too sudden. perhaps a properly done transition from the breakdown instead of nothing, a power chord would work. Or maybe something a little more interesting

As for the clean chorus I like the chord rhythms and it transitions well into the distortion, which I also like the rhythm guitar. Overall a great section of the song

The transition into the breakdown is such awesome build up. I love it, it gets you so pumped up for the breakdown.

This breakdown is good too, but you really do need a real bass drop to make it work. But a good breakdown nonetheless. The effects give it a good atmosphere.

Haha I love the siren, so sick This Reintro is really epic and leads into the breakdown quite nicely

This breakdown fit very well, and I like the little outro bar in the end. Is this song going to lead into anything? just a little curious

Overall the song is really good, but a few parts need to be fixed. I can see it being an awesome song to see live.

7.5/10

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345448
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#36
Thanks for the crits, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
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Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
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Colossus
Life Is Brutal
Master of Modulation
Join date: Jun 2008
498 IQ
#37
I listened to Post Rock, Intro was very enjoyable, and nice listening throughout Act I.

Act II, good chords, Nice lead over the top, and a good layered sound. Act III was great, although the Lead Jazz guitar is kind of getting annoying.

From there, it repeated the same elements used earlier untill Act IV. Act IV was refreshing, and a good lead in to Act V. Then it goes back to guitar 1, and I really like how thoughtful the guitarwork on that track is.

Act VII was a good build up to VIII, which added even more build to the song. Act VIIII added more, and I loved the synth arpeggios. You have great lead ins to sections.

Act X had the resolve needed for the rest of the sections, and was a great section. But, For "The End", I would change the synth part. I don't feel like it goes with the rest of the song. And thats my only Problem with the song.

Good song.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1350543
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
5,388 IQ
#38
Only Human:
hahaha ive listened to this before :p a while ago, Ive definitely opened this zip file before and looked through a few of these, I can remember haha. Anyways.

The intro is good, as was the verse, a bit more steady. It was just the classic dotted dotted eighth that you hear all over post-hardcore, but the 7/4 bar made it seem different, yet it wasn't off at all.

The chorus is my favorite part though. It sorta reminds me of an Underoath chorus?? The power chords with the following lead and a heavy strings part in the back gives it an epic feel almost, I really like it.

The following breakdown was pretty sweet too. It sorta started off with a basic generic breakdown, but that was forgiven with the tapping, although that was a bit generic as well. But I really do not care as long as it sounds good. And its not like its the entire song or anything, it was nice to incorporate a breakdown section into a song that really doesnt rely on the "broot" of metalcore too much.

The next section was another metalcore riff it seems, but as a fan of metalcore, I really do enjoy it haha and I love hearing riffs like these, but not if theyre crowding the song up. This was not, it was great as is. However....the transition into the chorus didnt do it for me. It was nice changing the tempo from the chorus into a breakdown, but it can be harder trying to make it go back into the tempo of the chorus. I really tried to see what could be done, but it just didnt sound natural.

The chorus itself was still good though! As was the verse that followed it, again. The surprise was when the strings entered, which sounded a little overpowering on guitar pro, but I think I can imagine what it'd be like, sorta that epic fat strings sound, I think thatd be great if pulled off well. The Bridge was pretty crazy, it continued this vibe well, It stayed in this epic little section that I really enjoyed, it was my next favorite part of the song...

The breakdown, was just superb. The pattern from before sounds great behind this new lead you had going, gave it a lot more power. And then for some reason, the tranistion into this chorus didnt feel too off at all. What felt a little funny was the chorus into the next part, the Bridge (a). In fact, I think itd be nice if you let the song just end at that last chorus. Then you have a sweet rocker all the way through, and as theyre listening, it changes to this track which is just soothing...a great post-hardcore little section.

However, this whole post-hardcore section really does seem like a whole other song...it doesnt really belong. And Im all for changing genres and moods throughout songs, thats what keeps them alive, but this, for some reason, seems to not fit. And it seems pretty long, so to make it a separate song would not be too strange. Or possibly, I would even consider having the clean post-hardcore section to begin the entire song and then get started with the real song. The chorus in this part were the same chords from the distorted chorus earlier right? Well I liked it, but I still think that it could last on its own as a separate track, like maybe as a pt. 2, you know?

Anyways, songwriting aside, the bass parts are really great, only the MIDI really doesnt do it justice as it makes the bass sound like a trumpet or something haha, but I can admire the work...the guitar solo as well was great, I think it could have lasted longer though...it was good though, couldve lasted a bit longer with the mood that it gave...

This transition into the chorus wasnt too good either I thought....perhaps it would sound better with just a reverse cymbal and then a pause for half a second or a snare hit or something, or maybe its just out of place...but then again, the parts that come after it are too amazing, you cant change what I find to be the climax of the song...id try to fix the transition though, maybe make it a bit longer than it is.

My only complaint with the outro would have been that it didnt last too long (it could have lead into a solo, a harmony, a counter-melody over top what you have, etc.), but ending it how it did was fine too, it sorta left me hanging for me, yet I felt like I was pleased at the same time...the outro itself was great, I love the layering and the strings, it all was great.
slayerfrk
UG Board King
Join date: Jul 2007
50 IQ
#39
i dont wanna be a dink but everything was generic and odd sounding, as well as boring, some ideas were good but theye arnt really "there" yet. i did like the post rock song though, A LOT, another thing that i liked was bar 154 in the song your first and only mistake, im just a sucker for the crazy synth drums, like what AAL use
Last edited by slayerfrk at Oct 30, 2010,
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#40
Quote by slayerfrk
i dont wanna be a dink but everything was generic and odd sounding, as well as boring, some ideas were good but theye arnt really "there" yet. i did like the post rock song though, A LOT, another thing that i liked was bar 154 in the song your first and only mistake, im just a sucker for the crazy synth drums, like what AAL use


Thanks for the worlds least constructive crit ever.
A lot of the metalcore songs were written years ago and are very generic and contrived, I've only kept them in because they'll be a bit in there that I still enjoy.
If you're gonna give a critique at least point to which parts you thought were lacking, why, and how they could be improved.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
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