I'll review this section by section.

Intro: Quite generic, and almost boring. I was tempted to close guitar pro already.
Verse 1: Still generic, but it looks fun to play and it has a good upbeat to it.
Breakdown 1: Blegh. You need to throw some sort of weird sounding notes, or some sort of guitar melody over this. Too long and quite boring.
Verse 2: Things start to pick up a little bit. Reminds me of a simpler Misery Signals, you have my attention a little bit here.
Breakdown 2: I somewhat liked it. The off 1st fret notes kinda made it a little different.
Chorus: Finally. This is finally what the song needed. Reminds me of Veil of Maya. Try adventuring out of the key of D though, it'll do wonders Pretty sweet riff though.
Verse 3: Pretty good. Seems pretty ripoff-ish of Veil of Maya, but I love Veil of Maya so no worries haha.
Breakdown 3: Not really much of a breakdown in the sense of metalcore. But who cares, it's another sweet riff that I quite enjoyed, and looks fun to play.
Chorus 3: Scrrrreams Veil of Maya, again. Haha. Your note choices are much like Mark Okubos.
The Fun Part: Pretty cool melody. Not exactly original, but it goes along nicely, the tapping part, again, screams Veil of Maya. You might not happen to like Veil of Maya by any chance? :P
Build Up: Thank you. Actually a good breakdown to end off a sweet 2nd half of a song. It's quite simple, but it does the job right.

First half of the song is boring and generic, lifeless in some parts.
Second half of the song is pretty good, screams Veil of Maya, but that's a good thing.

C4C brah?
Painfully dull and generic to start with. I feel bad being mean, but seriously this isn't interesting. Maybe with vocals it'd be better.
Verse 2 is still pretty generic but i'm enjoying it, it's not boring. Has a nice post-hardcore vibe with the chords.
Breakdown 2 is kinda boring, maybe cause i'm looking forward to this 7/8 chorus...
and it doesn't disappoint. Flows beautifully and is very interesting. Love it.
Verse 3 is okay, bit boring but not bad.
Breakdown 3 isn't much of a breakdown and is a bit of a mess but its not bad.
Chorus 2 was just like verse 2, i preferred the first chorus.
The fun part was nice and upbeat, loving it. Great leads.
And there was no build up or breakdown to speak of, just some dull chugging. There was no build up or release of tension, i'm a bit confused...

This song contained some generic rubbish and some moments of pure genius. More of the genius less of the generic please.
Over all you've ended up with a decent song and vocals would improve the dull bits a lot so it wouldn't be that bad. Breakdown's could do with work.

C4C? go to the page linked in my sig and crit any song you like maybe Gravity, Abyss or Enter the Asylum as they're newer.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit