#1
Hi there,

I have written this piece, kind of a pop/soft rock instrumental - I quite like it, and am recording it at the moment (hence the drum clicks at the start).

What do you think? Any suggestions for improvement before I fully record?
Also, could you rate it out of 10? (Or just choose between 'amazing' or 'good'... either will do! :P)

C4C as usual!!

Thanks,
AJ
Attachments:
GI2 - Files.zip
Last edited by ankthebank at Jun 9, 2010,
#2
I've checked up your stuff - sounds too happy for me, but it's good. It'll be working as soundtrack for some melodrama movie I'd give it 7/10
#3
I liked the busyness of the bass but for bars 23 and 25 i think you can go start chilling the bass out a bit :P I think you should have the bass hold that F# as well in those bars and for bar 26 i think the bass riff should be only descending.

By bar 27, if you are going to reuse that riffage, you need to start changing up the lead a bit (kinda like what you did at bar 35).

I don't like the change at bar 39 (key change? :P but i removed one of the repeats of 39 - 40 and it worked a lot better for me. Kinda like you are just chilling & listening, this change comes in and you're like "wtf omg omg" and then before you realize what happened you're back to the original idea :P You could even cut out bar 43+44 imo, i think that would help my "vision" even more.

Anywho, i liked it. I think you could have done a lot more with it though. I was expecting a complete direction range i.e. like at bar 15 i was expecting you go into a heavy part and completely change the direction. I really liked the clean guitar work (the choruses basically).

Edit: I just read what Tom said i think this would work sooo well in like a gangster movie Like i could totally see this in "Snatch" somewhere.
Last edited by 21Fretter at Jun 9, 2010,
#4
Haha, thanks a lot for the advice - I was a bit unsure of that bridge myself too (key change, and all that jazz ;P), but i'm not too sure of cutting out so many bars (it's sound too sudden i think)... i agree with the bars 23 and 25, and also 26 (regarding the bassline).

But very helpful crit you've given, thanks a lot! I'll try to make your 'vision' come true... oh yeah, and mine too! haha ;P


(...but mainly yours)
#5
I really like the clean guitar at bar 47. I think the polysynth should be slightly higher in the mix. I really like the entire piece to be honest. But to mirror everyone else, I'm not really sure about the key change at bar 39. I think you need a smoother modulation.
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#6
Hmm, i'm not amazing at doing key changes... how would you recommend adding to the transition? A reverse cymbal maybe?
#8
Quote by The Arsis
I liked the first melody. The song was pretty cool but there were a few parts I would have changed up. Instead of a crit, I just altered some of the parts that I thought needed a change.


Thank you very much! There are some very useful ideas in there, i'm sure they will make it perfect! ...and i do like perfect

Thanks man
#9
This sounds pretty good dude.

But it feels like it's just rising and rising, then nothing. there needs to be a big defining climax, and it's never reached.
#10
Cool, i'll look into that... i'm a bit hesitant on sticking distorted guitars in this piece, but maybe I could introduce some more variations, and make the drum part more interesting in the final section? What do you think?
#11
sounds pretty good ;D
unfortunately I must say, that the song sounds to happy to me...sorry
but I like the synth bass and the clean guitar at bar 23 ;D
I'll give it...ehh...8/10 ;D