#1
"Infatuation"
C4C

You could swim away
make it past the tides
Dreams have become realities,
faded black and white

You could live forever,
wander in my eyes
Justify the meens,
that doesnt make it right

In-fat, infatuation is science
In-fat, infatuation is guidance

Love at first sight is simple enough
Love at first sight, Its chemical make-up
Beauty on demand is simple enough
Beauty on demand, its chemical make-up

This is not an exit for anything youve said before
Let me narrarate you, let me narrorate your dreams
Caught in conversation, Words arent what they seem
And at least if plan B fails youve got me

In-fat, infatuation is science
In-fat, infatuation is guidance

Love at first sight is simple enough
Love at first sight, Its chemical make-up Beauty on demand is simple enough Beauty on demand, its chemical make-up
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#2
You could swim away
make it past the tides
Dreams have become realities,
faded black and white

*Easy to read, it flows really well though i'd change the third line.. make it tie in a bit more and make it a wee bit less generic. You don't wanna write something that's been written a million times and 'Dreams becoming reality' is one of those I think*

You could live forever,
wander in my eyes
Justify the meens,
that doesnt make it right

*Something a bit more sinsister and dark about this one, temptation turning and lust and also sadness. Like it more.*

In-fat, infatuation is science
In-fat, infatuation is guidance

*Sing it with gusto and play hard and you could pull the chorus off*

Love at first sight is simple enough
Love at first sight, Its chemical make-up
Beauty on demand is simple enough
Beauty on demand, its chemical make-up

*I can imagine myself becoming a bit bored of this repetition though I suppose it depends on the type of music you're playing it to.*

This is not an exit for anything youve said before
Let me narrarate you, let me narrorate your dreams
Caught in conversation, Words arent what they seem
And at least if plan B fails youve got me

*Back to the dark, controlling theme.. like it it's definitely the better theme of the song*

In-fat, infatuation is science
In-fat, infatuation is guidance

Love at first sight is simple enough
Love at first sight, Its chemical make-up
Beauty on demand is simple enough
Beauty on demand, its chemical make-up

*Mm still not sure about the repetition and I think you could maybe improve it by tying it in a bit more with the second and fourth verses*

*It's good it was but I think there could be a bit more substance to some of the verses.. but don't take my criticisms to heart it's your work man do what you want with it*