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#1
Or cruelest...


But anyway, yes I am gonna brag, but its nothing to brag about, killings no joke, even if it is a roach


So I get up last night to use the washroom, flick the lights on and boom, a damn roach is running obliviously about. Now I being in bare feet didn't want to step on it (yea, I'm not much the man) So I grabbed the nearest object which was a pack of that "Five" Gum, timed my throw just right and well, I just thought it was the coolest way I've ever killed an insect.
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
#3
I killed a wasp with a weedwhacker before. It was coming right for me, so I brought the weedwhacker up and it flew straight into it.
#4
We didn't have bug spray so we sprayed a wolf spider with Aqua Net Hair Spray until it couldn't move anymore.
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#5
I killed some sort of spider in my old dorm room by use of shampoo. It was like a clear kind so you could see him in there.. reminded me of the mosquito in the amber from Jurassic Park. You could see it trying to move, but to no avail. Lights out, little arachnid.
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#6
i kill insects with a broom. not too interesting but i tend to go on killing sprees around 2am cuz i get paranoid

ViciousEDIT: also i occasionally use airwick. **** raid
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Last edited by :Vicious-- at Jun 10, 2010,
#7
While there's usually a good reason for killing insects/arachnids...this thread's kinda making me feel a bit sick. :/
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#8
I saw a story on here about a guy who caught a wasp in a 20oz bottle and gas chambered it with a lit match.
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#10
I've never killed a bug or insect but I've certainly killed a grizzly bear with a knife, if that counts.
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#11
when I was a kid, me and my mate filled our water guns with soapy water and went spider hunting in his basement.
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#12
i shoot em with nerf suction cups and leave em there stuck to the wall till someone else cleans it up
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#13
we get these things called lovebugs (they're in the south generally), which is pretty much the florida equivalent to the mayfly. They're much smaller but they come in MUCH greater numbers. They're pains because their bodies are highly acidic (if you've ever had one of those random mcdonalds fries that taste horrible, it smells exactly like that tastes) and if you drive into them and don't get them on your car quick enough, the will not come off.

well, one year we decided to get our house painted, and apparently they really like the fumes because they covered literally the whole house
http://blahblahblog.files.wordpress.com/2006/01/Love%20Bugs%20Like%20White.jpg
Imagine that but covering everything on a 2 story house

I was bored so I decided to take a shop vac and just suck them all up while they were seckzing and doing their disgusting lovebug habits. Watching them try to fly away but not be able to overcome the suction provided probably a half hour of entertainment before I got bored 8-)
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Last edited by kylepianoman at Jun 10, 2010,
#14
^
D:

Huge picture is Anyway, here's my story.
*chases spider around apartment*
*spider goes under baseboards*
*stabs spider a thousand times with a breadknife under the baseboards*

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#15
I killed a bug once. WITH MY BARE HANDS.
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#16
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I've never killed a bug or insect but I've certainly killed a grizzly bear with a knife, if that counts.



i call shenanigans on you sir
Im gonna pistol whip the next guy that says shenanigans !!!!
#17
At my cottage I was bbq'ing some steaks. First you need some background info on my cottage to understand why this was awesome. My cottage is on a hill, so there are 2 rooms that are actually OVERHANGING this hill, and are supported by these big ass beams. 1 of these rooms is the screen room. It has screens all around to keep bugs out, except for the floor which is similar to a deck. below this "deck" there is a 7 foot drop down to a sandpit, and all around there is dense forest.

anyways, I was bbq'ing in the screen room and a wasp flew in. I panicked, and started swinging a spatula at it. The wasp landed on the floor, right above one of the spaces between the wood. I threw the spatula at it, which hit it, and then slipped through the crack. I went outside and hopped down to the sand pit to retrieve the spatula. The spatula was sticking up in the sand, with half the wasp on each side.

Boom


Bitch.


besides ninja killing that wasp, I also used to kill bugs in some pretty ****ed up ways when I was a kid.

We once got a swarm of ants in our backyard (I think it's called a swarm? Basically when they all show up in the thousands like it's a tailgate party at the superbowl, and then all bugger off randomly) and I decided I wasn't gonna have any of that shit. So I went outside with one of these:



A hand scythe (rural area, everyone owns one. don't judge me).

If you have never used one before, you should know that it is scary how precisely accurate they are in the hands of a seven year old. What I did was take aim, and try to get the bastards right on the head with the point. Most of them I simply squished all over, but the few that I did get on the head did something "interesting". When you very suddenly crush an ant's head, it reaches for the head with its front legs, feels around for a bit, and then stops moving. Yes... ant's are in fact cartoon characters.
Last edited by Lt. Shinysides at Jun 10, 2010,
#19
Spider: Kebab skewer through its body.

Fly: Pin through its body

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#20
There was a banana spider or some kind of freakishly huge spider in my backyard, which I'm terrified of. I knew the only way to vanquish the beast was to douse it with lighter fluid first and use a hairspray-lighter flamethrower to torch it.

That or putting a dragonfly in a microwave. That was pretty cool.
#21
Quote by calnix

That or putting a dragonfly in a microwave. That was pretty cool.


What the goddamn?
#22
Fire + Aerosol = Cool story, brah.
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#23
Quote by calnix


That or putting a dragonfly in a microwave. That was pretty cool.


You can't just throw that story out here and not elaborate. What happened to it.
#25
I punched a spider

I was at my brothers apartment, sitting in the living room when I hear his roommate say, "Oh shit!" So I went in and he is at the far end of the room, opposite the door, and I asked him what was wrong. He said a spider jumped out and scared him and pointed to the wall to right of me. Deciding to show off how awesome I am, I glanced at it, then punched it with my left fist without flinching.

I then walked out of the room thinking about how cool I was until I felt spider bits between my fingers. I let out a little "ew" then washed up.

tl'dr, I'm awesome
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#26
Hammer+horse fly

I was in shop class and this horse fly is flying around us in the shop... it lands on a window sill so I grab a hammer. Instead of just whacking at it, I just let the flat part of the hammer fall on it. Basically I held the hammer above this fly and let my wrist go limp.

It was the grossest/most amazing SPLAT I've ever heard. Guts shot out PASSED me... it was a pretty big horse fly.


edit:
Here's the opposite. This big-ish wolf spider was in my room last night. He'd crawl toward me and chill for awhile, then run away. Then he'd come back and chill next to me. It was weird.. I contemplated killing him, but then I was like, hey it's just a wolf spider and he's not doing anything... and he's just chilling. So I let him live. He soon disappeared... I have a feeling he probably took a dump in my mouth while I was asleep.
Last edited by Ignite at Jun 10, 2010,
#27
Quote by Ignite
Hammer+horse fly

I was in shop class and this horse fly is flying around us in the shop... it lands on a window sill so I grab a hammer. Instead of just whacking at it, I just let the flat part of the hammer fall on it. Basically I held the hammer above this fly and let my wrist go limp.

It was the grossest/most amazing SPLAT I've ever heard. Guts shot out PASSED me... it was a pretty big horse fly.


You haven't seen big until you've seen Canadian horseflies in august. I have a nasty habit of spending hours wandering my backyard with a slipper specifically looking for horseflies to kill. I hate those ****ers so much.

EDIT: ^ to the edit: I do that a lot to. There are only 4 bugs that I will kill without reason
- mosquitos
- horseflies
- wasps
- earwigs

Silverfish used to be on that list, but not anymore. I've made my peace with them.

I don't kill any bugs except for those 4. They deserve to die. Most of the bugs I encounter during my day are just chillin' and not lookin' to bother anybody. Those sons of bitches however are ALWAYS looking to piss someone off.
Last edited by Lt. Shinysides at Jun 10, 2010,
#28
Quote by Lt. Shinysides
You haven't seen big until you've seen Canadian horseflies in august. I have a nasty habit of spending hours wandering my backyard with a slipper specifically looking for horseflies to kill. I hate those ****ers so much.

EDIT: ^ to the edit: I do that a lot to. There are only 4 bugs that I will kill without reason
- mosquitos
- horseflies
- wasps
- earwigs

Silverfish used to be on that list, but not anymore. I've made my peace with them.

I don't kill any bugs except for those 4. They deserve to die. Most of the bugs I encounter during my day are just chillin' and not lookin' to bother anybody. Those sons of bitches however are ALWAYS looking to piss someone off.

I completely agree with those. An earwig will pop up in my room like once a week! Then I have to get a shoe.

I've never been to Canada but this horse fly was just a tiny bit bigger than this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgorkRO96hk

I can't imagine anything bigger though

edit:
THESE FUCKERS ARE PURE EVIL


I HATE robber flies. I haven't seem them in Mississippi, but when I lived in Florida, they'd get in my house, and zoom at my head. Then they'd do it again... they scared the hell out of me.
Last edited by Ignite at Jun 10, 2010,
#31
One year I was in Montana for 4th of July. Me and my cousin got a few beetles where we would just put a firecracker directly in front of the beetle so it would walk over it and then explode!!! We found a treestump that was full of ants, packed it with m-whatevers (I don't know fireworks). Blew the tree stump to pieces, and then torched the survivors with sparklers.
#32
I ate an ant.

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#33
I love burning ticks. They pop when they die.

Also, I caught a fly with my bare hands, and I though I was pretty badass until I found out that I had squished it in the process.
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#34
I was shrooming at a golf course in the middle of the night with my buddy. we saw a huuuuge spider hanging from a tree on a web, and my friend had axe spray on him, so we torched it.
it screamed "MIIIIIIICHAEEEEEEL! WHYYYYYYYYYY!?", shrivled up, and then burst into a 4th of july firework with hints of every color in the rainbow.
or we were just tripping balls.
but still.
#35
The place I'm living in currently had a large amount of flies about in the upstairs hallway, so naturally a bunch of us tried to kill them in creative way. People used tennis rackets but I found a whip (Indiana Jones style whip, and no I have no idea why it was there). I starting snapping the whip up towards the ceiling.

I sliced one of the flies in half with the whip


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#37
Quote by .h3xagr4m.

There are no words for the horror that I'm feeling right now, thanks.


Anyway, when I was a kid, I pulled the wings off of a fly, and all but one leg off of a spider. Good times.
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#38
There was this one time when I discovered a spider in my room, but I couldn't reach it with the standard newspaper. So I grabbed my katana hanging on my wall and stabbed him like a thousand times.

True story
"I ache, therefore I am."
#39
Quote by BeastlyBassist
There are no words for the horror that I'm feeling right now, thanks.


Anyway, when I was a kid, I pulled the wings off of a fly, and all but one leg off of a spider. Good times.


wait... did you get them to fight? Or were they 2 separate incidents.
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