#1
Idk if it's my personality or what, but all the lyrics I write end up "Cheesy". If anyone wants an example I'll post up my song "Bliss" and you can see if its just me or not.
#2
I have the same problem as you, but I never try to really write lyrics for legit songs. I usually just write some cheesy rhymy lyrics over some chord progression to make my girlfriend laugh.


Post some of your lyrics and we can help you try to phrase things differently.

One thing you might try is not being as direct in phrases. Try to be a little more open in meaning where others can apply them to multiple situations or lives?
#3
give me a copy please its probably fine - i wont steal anythin, i play 4 fun im not plannin 2 release anythin -im 12
#4
I'll be blunt and to the point: Put your emotion into what you write, and try different ways of conveying an emotion or saying a phrase. Metaphors and connotations (if you know what those are from English class) are your biggest friends when writing. Don't directly state the emotion, let it be implied, so that you're coming from your heart, but open to different interpretations. Let it flow, but don't try to force it to the same structure of poetry; just write down your emotions and you'll slowly begin to organize it the more you write.
#5
Quote by ihatu
I'll be blunt and to the point: Put your emotion into what you write, and try different ways of conveying an emotion or saying a phrase. Metaphors and connotations (if you know what those are from English class) are your biggest friends when writing. Don't directly state the emotion, let it be implied, so that you're coming from your heart, but open to different interpretations. Let it flow, but don't try to force it to the same structure of poetry; just write down your emotions and you'll slowly begin to organize it the more you write.



This is what I was trying to get at, I was just a little vague about it.
#6
Quote by YorkieBar147
give me a copy please its probably fine - i wont steal anythin, i play 4 fun im not plannin 2 release anythin -im 12

wat
Quote by ihatu
I'll be blunt and to the point: Put your emotion into what you write, and try different ways of conveying an emotion or saying a phrase. Metaphors and connotations (if you know what those are from English class) are your biggest friends when writing. Don't directly state the emotion, let it be implied, so that you're coming from your heart, but open to different interpretations. Let it flow, but don't try to force it to the same structure of poetry; just write down your emotions and you'll slowly begin to organize it the more you write.

This
Squier Strat
Behringer Fuzz
GFT-90
#7
If I would advise something, it would be to experiment. Keep writing things. Anything. Even if its just a few lines of how your day has been or a whole paragraph about something that means a lot to you.
Eventually, you will break free from rules and similar patterns.

Niall
#9
I wish I could find the shadow of death
To bring all of this to an abrupt end
To bring justice to the ones who hate me
And to show you life without me


I feel your tears running through my soul
Yet I find anguish wherever I go
I see the hatred in your eyes
but can you see the same in mine

I see the end from the eyes of my lover,
I feel the love but does it come from another,
I know the hate that flows from my very soul,
I need to make my life the way I want it to go.

(chorus)


...That's all I got.
Guitars
Dean DOF
Alvarez acoustic
Devlin... err... something or another.

Amp
Line 6 Spyder 2
#10
I lay in bed for hours
thinking of my life
what is has become, compared to what it could've been.
I stare at my wall
Because I don't know how to thrive
but that glimmer of hope
Is what keeps me alive


I’ve seen the world from an all new view.
I seem to blame it all on you
I never thought it would be like this


Bliss?!
I think not
Peace?!
In your dreams
Serenityyy
Is killing meeee.

As I wait
For the moment of truth
For my raging blow
Upon the likes of mankind
Within the minds of man
I plan, I plot, I find, I use
Until it's all over


I’ve seen the world from an all new view.
I seem to blame it all on you
I never thought it would be like this


Bliss?!
I think not
Peace?!
In your dreams
Serenityyy
Is killing meeee.

Ive waited all this time
Ive hear all the lies
Ive seen what could become
Although over it all
I see what I've become

Bliss?!
I think not
Peace?!
In your dreams
Serenityyy
Is killing meeee.
Guitars
Dean DOF
Alvarez acoustic
Devlin... err... something or another.

Amp
Line 6 Spyder 2
#14
Quote by KirkPwnsALL
I lay in bed for hours
thinking of my life
what is has become, compared to what it could've been.
I stare at my wall
Because I don't know how to thrive
but that glimmer of hope
Is what keeps me alive


I’ve seen the world from an all new view.
I seem to blame it all on you
I never thought it would be like this


Bliss?!
I think not
Peace?!
In your dreams
Serenityyy
Is killing meeee.

As I wait
For the moment of truth
For my raging blow
Upon the likes of mankind
Within the minds of man
I plan, I plot, I find, I use
Until it's all over


I’ve seen the world from an all new view.
I seem to blame it all on you
I never thought it would be like this


Bliss?!
I think not
Peace?!
In your dreams
Serenityyy
Is killing meeee.

Ive waited all this time
Ive hear all the lies
Ive seen what could become
Although over it all
I see what I've become

Bliss?!
I think not
Peace?!
In your dreams
Serenityyy
Is killing meeee.


Dude, that's not cheesy...
#15
I was told they were. Well... for get them. Thanks guys!
Guitars
Dean DOF
Alvarez acoustic
Devlin... err... something or another.

Amp
Line 6 Spyder 2
#16
how i do it, if i have a tune on guitar i made, ill hum along to it, lyrics seem to just come to me after that. it seems to work pretty well for me.
http://www.youtube.com/user/charliegray12212

check out my youtube channel for guitar covers.

Quote by Radman_Paiza
I saw it with my dudefriend. But I'm totally not gay, because I have a girlfriend. She's imaginary, but atleast I have one.
#20
There not bad, to me there not really cheesy, to me cheesy would be cliche or simple rhymes. there are some lines I would word differently and some weak rhymes, but you've definitely got something solid to work with, if I was you I would keep working with it.
Quote by Zach_F
Please take your friends instruments, and burn them. Burn your friends too if you'd like.
#22
I like 'em, dude! The only thing I could say, and this is something I struggle with myself, is resorting back to the safety and ease of "I" phrases. Maybe try writing in perspective, as if you're not the one actually feeling these things, but the one witnessing another character's story, or someone completely uninvolved at all.

I hit the same wall time after time. I get to a point where I feel something so strongly, and I want to put it into lyric/song, but I focus so hard on the "I" and "me" of it all that the emotion and subject get lost in the translation.

Either way, your shits solid, work out a melody and get a progression going under it, I think you'll have a winner.