#1
Hey guys I'm not sure if this is right forum so I apologize ahead of time if it isn't.

I'm currently frustrated at the moment and in need of advice. I'm currently playing in a band right now (have been for about 5-6 months) and we got some gigs coming up finally. I've only been playing for a couple of years and took this as an opportunity to get better. And I have gotten better. I have progressed a lot from when I first started in the band, and I can't even remember how crappy I was before hand.

The problem is, the other guitarist in the band is phenomenal. Quite frankly every time he cranks out a solo, I just feel like giving up. The band would like me to play more solos and jam in the band but I always refuse due to the fact that I can't compare to this guy. I do play a solo or two and sure I can hold my own, but this guy is good. I even practice (well I should say jam/play) at least 2 hours a day now to try and get somewhere decent but when I think I'm getting close to getting better, he just whips out some big solo that just makes me dumbfounded.

So right now, I'm getting very frustrated and I am thinking about just quitting the band, setting the guitar down for a few months, and when I feel I am ready again, dig it up and just sit down by myself and learn more stuff. When the opportunity arises again, join another band. Cause right now, I left the last practice not very happy at all, and I know that's now how it should be. It should be fun, which is why I think I need a break. And I've listened to a few other local bands and there are some very good guitarists that just exceed my playing skills considerably. It's just frustrating you know.

Any thoughts?
#2
Don't give up it takes practice to get where you want to be

If your playing with this other guitarist you have something to aspire to, and something to aim for. Every guitarist is different so playing in a band with him might make you pick up a few new things, which is always good
#3
Hi There, take my advice and don't even try and compete with your colleague, no two guitarists are alike and will ever play the same piece Identically.We are individuals, each has his own technique. They must have heard you before to want you to solo....So just go for it....If the end result is you are no longer wanted, so be it, move on......always play your ability down and then most are surprised and if "they" are extra special you can then say well I did say I was average or whatever. Over the years I have experienced a few pleasant responses using this method Like "where have you been hiding" etc.

fenderflyer.
Last edited by fenderflyer at Jun 12, 2010,
#4
dont you give up, man! why do you think does your band want you to stick around? they think you're good enough to keep up to the other guitarist. if you think you need a break, i assure, you'll regret it. stick to the playing, practice regularly and ask that guy for advice on "how do you do that, or this" etc. just stick with it!

i'm in a band with a bassist, that has been playing for like 9 months. we just encourage him to keep it up and keep practicing. that's what you should do, as well!
#5
If he's that phenomenal and everyone still wants your input and riffs to be heard, then you can't be near as bad as you seem to think. I've never heard you play, but I think you just need a little confidence and to stop comparing yourself to others around you. There's ALWAYS going to be someone that you think is better.
#6
Quote by dannyboy1992
Don't give up it takes practice to get where you want to be

If your playing with this other guitarist you have something to aspire to, and something to aim for. Every guitarist is different so playing in a band with him might make you pick up a few new things, which is always good


I do aspire to him and I have picked up alot of things from him. I do practice alot, but the problem is when he starts whipping out sick blues/rock solos I can't compare at all. He'll signal me to do a solo and I just shake my head saying no cause I don't want to risk the embarrassment. I don't want to be that guy who just cant quite do it.

Am I crazy or weird for thinking like this? It's driving me crazy right now..
#7
I'd think that it would make sense to ask this guy for some help. If he's really that good, doesn't it make sense that he could show you how he got that way? Also, don't beat yourself up. I've found that most guitarists have a large ego (no offense, it doesn't eem like you do) that is easilly shot down. He may be good, but don't be surprised if the only reason that you can't play as well as he can is that you thnk you can't. Mind over matter, to an extent.
#8
Quote by afrigginprodigy
I'd think that it would make sense to ask this guy for some help. If he's really that good, doesn't it make sense that he could show you how he got that way? Also, don't beat yourself up. I've found that most guitarists have a large ego (no offense, it doesn't eem like you do) that is easilly shot down. He may be good, but don't be surprised if the only reason that you can't play as well as he can is that you thnk you can't. Mind over matter, to an extent.


Yea he has been very helpful and always shows me a thing or two. He has also been playing for about 20+ years whereas I've only been playing about 2 years. They do say that I'm pretty good for only playing for 2 years. Neither of us have egos really. We both love to play, we both love blues and rock, and like I said, the have given me plenty of opportunities to solo and play leads for songs. I just choose not to because I know how good he is. His phrasing, blues runs and originality just outdoes me big time. And for as much as I practice, it is just frustrating that I cannot compare to him at all (at least not yet :P).

I appreciate the feedback so far to stay in the band. I'm not sure why I am psyching myself out on this but it really is bothering me. Any suggestions to alleviate this issue (other than to keep practicing my butt off :P)?
#9
There is your answer... He has been playing for 20 YEARS man, that is a very very long time. Don't get down hearted; 18 more years practise for 2 hours a day adds up to a lot of time!!!
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#10
yeah, he's just got loads of experience.
ask him nicely to teach you some stuff. you're in the same band after all, so you obviously get a long (i hope).
#11
Yea I understand that he has been playing for a long time. That's why I am just frustrated. i can't compare to the guy, and when I'm offered to take a solo, I don't even attempt it cause I can't play as good as this guy.

Its the frustration that is taking the fun away from the experience which is why i am wondering if I should just take a break for awhile.
#12
Quote by freedomfries491
Yea I understand that he has been playing for a long time. That's why I am just frustrated. i can't compare to the guy, and when I'm offered to take a solo, I don't even attempt it cause I can't play as good as this guy.

Its the frustration that is taking the fun away from the experience which is why i am wondering if I should just take a break for awhile.


Frankly I think the only thing you can do is just stop worrying about it.
I mean, come on, the dude's been playing for 20 years and you're frustrated you're not as good?
If I had the same problem, I'd be saying "my guitar teacher is better then me".
Well, duh!
Seriously, look on the bright side, in those 20 years of playing he's bound to have made mistakes in the way he was learning . Mistakes he could easily keep you from making!

Shouldn't the dude being that good only drive you to get even better? :P
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Last edited by MarauderNL at Jun 12, 2010,
#14
Of course there's ego involved... yours gets bruised easily. And you should play for you... not with the intention of outdoing someone or feeling outdone by someone else.

The frustration is your issue and you gonna have to get that ego in check before you will enjoy any musical situation. Accept that there are people better than you... and also accept that this guy wants you to take a solo... YOU!!! Why? Cos he wants you to get better at your instrument and he wants your confidence level up... not his... he has his. You need to let go dude...

Check your ego in at the door to the rehearsal room... for it has no place in music. You are your own worst enemy... deal with that, and you will overcome one of mans biggest inner demons.
#15
Quote by evolucian
Of course there's ego involved... yours gets bruised easily. And you should play for you... not with the intention of outdoing someone or feeling outdone by someone else.

The frustration is your issue and you gonna have to get that ego in check before you will enjoy any musical situation. Accept that there are people better than you... and also accept that this guy wants you to take a solo... YOU!!! Why? Cos he wants you to get better at your instrument and he wants your confidence level up... not his... he has his. You need to let go dude...

Check your ego in at the door to the rehearsal room... for it has no place in music. You are your own worst enemy... deal with that, and you will overcome one of mans biggest inner demons.



+ 1
shred is gaudy music
#16
Change your perspective. You're in a band that's getting paid, meaning people are actually paying to hear your music. You're playing with a guy that's got loads of experience and to top it off, he sounds friendly and encouraging. Use this opportunity to soak up as much knowledge as you can and practice hard. Don't "jam" for 2 hours a day - sit down, write etudies for the things you want to work on, then practice them slowly and strive for ease and perfection.
#17
If you're in a band with someone better, then you should be happy. If you're getting discouraged then what you're really doing is putting a "level" on your guitar playing skills, rather just play for fun. My best friend and I started playing the guitar at the same exact time.. Then I joined the army, making it hard to play all the time.. Id have to wait several weeks to months for my guitar and work back up to where I left off, THEN get better.. it's very frustrating cuz he can always practice and he always gets better.. I just had to tell myself that this is my own goal to get better, not to BE better than anyone.
#18
Imagine if Kurt Cobain felt that way....

"Grrrr.... even the drummer kicks my @ss on guitar.... "

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

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#20
You guys all bring up valid points. Thanks for the insight guys. I'll try to set myself mentally more.
#21
You should start taking the solos (at least in practices) and maybe jamming with him and I think you'll improve really quickly. Ask him for tips and all that. Also just remember that a solo isn't a contest and that it's how it sounds and feels that matters, not speed or quantity of notes.
Quote by DiminishedFifth
Who's going to stop you? The music police?
#22
Yeah, just keep chill and always remember that music is a co-operative game, not a competetive sport.

If you can't get over this then it'll keep coming up. Even if you did quit life and get as good as this guy... well, that's when you hear THAT guy, and then you have to start all over again. Just end the cycle before it starts.
#23
Music is not competition. Especially in the same band! WOW!
Oh yeah.

Quote by hildesaw
A minor is the saddest of all keys.

EDIT: D minor is the saddest of all keys.
#24
Just to clarify, it was never competition. Its just my ability to try and compare with this guy and having a hard act to follow when he solos which just causes me to get frustrated.

It was never about who is better. I know each musician is equally unique in their own playing style.
#25
Quote by freedomfries491
Just to clarify, it was never competition. Its just my ability to try and compare with this guy and having a hard act to follow when he solos which just causes me to get frustrated.

It was never about who is better. I know each musician is equally unique in their own playing style.

Sure sounds to me like you're making it a competition...at least in your head...
Oh yeah.

Quote by hildesaw
A minor is the saddest of all keys.

EDIT: D minor is the saddest of all keys.