#1
Yes, I know its cliche, but its what I was going for. I just can't seem to find some kinda chorus to go between the verses, at least nothing that would fit the melody I got going. So right now its just a little falsetto like chant. (ooh and ahs) that sort of thing. And for the last verse, I don't know whether I should keep "I use to see the moon" or if I should change it to something like "I would watch the moon..." Anyway, thanks if you read, thanks if you crit, I'll crit back on anything.


Under Trees

Strangers under trees, safe from the rain
The barks at our back as she whispered her name
And I caressed her as I said mine
That was the place where we would hide

Under the trees you said you’ll never leave
But now you’re floating down to reality
Letting the wind and gravity decide
Wherever and when you’ll find the ground

Under the trees, I use to see the moon
Mimic your eyes as I sang to you
Now its but a breeze, bitterly blowing sweet
Below all the leaves that we use to know
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know