#1
Crit4Crit, probably the best 'poem' I've ever written.

Exorcise

In the darling corridors,
their gripping hum, they're sans,
dropping came for feeling us,
we lock fingers without holding hands.

And in the moment of my loss, I keeled at her feet,
swore an oath to her or god
whichever I would keep.
That I will preach to those my vile
and for my future's sake
to fully understand the pain to which
I plunge deep this awful stake.


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#5
holding hands between lovers is generally presumed to be an emotional act, but locking fingers is strictly physical.

so you have a physical connection without any emotion. it's the entire point of the piece actually...
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#7
If by 'poem' you mean the structure and rhyming, then this is the only 'poem' I've ever seen you post, actually. I really like this. I've seen you say you don't write real poetry but if this is what you mean by real poetry, then I'm not sure what you're talking about. This was very enjoyable, the rhyme and structure was just right and the meaning hit pretty close to home. I enjoyed this thoroughly.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#8
i guess this is uhh the best... poem poem, i don't know.

there is shit people 'like' and there is shit that gets 'published' and this is in the latter.
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#9
Quote by Something_Vague


there is shit people 'like' and there is shit that gets 'published' and this is in the latter.



This makes sense to me. Somehow.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#11
nice piece matt. i think dylan said something like this on one of yours lately but your writing is so deliberate recently especially. its impressive.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me