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#1
Last time I actually lurked UG (which was a while back) I noticed that many people here are 15 year olds that claim to hate the kids around them and whatnot, basically saying that they are huge losers at school. I was like that at one point in my high school career but things have changed, high school is over, and I feel like I should write a comical guide on how I became fairly well known within a couple months my senior year of high school.

1. Host a phat party at your house and make sure everyone sees you drink alcoholic beverages. This is the easiest way to meet people because if you have a beer in your hand you are automatically "cool" with a lot of people. Don't kick anyone out and hope that the cops come (cops at your party means it was legit).

2. The cooler you are the less often you wear shirts with sleeves, always keep this in mind.

3. Get kicked out of large sporting events at your school. This has to be done after you've hosted your rager so that people already know that you're legit and they will be on your side.

4. Tell everyone that you own a recording studio even if it's just a shitty mic hooked up to a computer. Since anyone can rap, albeit badly, you should put out a track and let everyone hear it. Once cool people hear an amateur rap they will automatically be inclined to want to come over and record their own. They know that they are better than everyone else at everything so once they hear something they will want to come and do better. Post them on youtube and facebook and everyone will want in, you must give cool people priority though.

5. By this point you should be pretty legit, so it might be safe to ask the cool people that come to make shitty raps where the beer will be at in the later hours. Make sure to go wherever there is alcohol and act like an idiot, get into as many pictures as possible with the alcohol clearly displayed, and talk shit behind everyone's back.

If you follow these steps (as I did) you will go from being a huge fag to a pretty chill bro in no time. You will get texts from multiple different people daily and often you will be offered knucks while consuming alcohol. My only regret is not doing this sooner in my high school career, so get on it loserfags.
#3
Yeah I am not following those steps TS. sorry
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#4
that was mildly entertaining.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#5
Uh. Yes, sir.
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#9
Quote by thamason69
i thought the formula was like drugs and booze


It is. TS is taking the piss
#10
I thought the formula was being yourself, being confident, nice, and surrounding yourself with people with similar interests to yourself?

EDIT: I know TS is taking the piss, but it wasn't really all that funny.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Jun 14, 2010,
#11
Quote by CoreysMonster
I thought the formula was being yourself, being confident, nice, and surrounding yourself with people with similar interests to yourself?a

No, it's defintitely drugs and booze.
KLH & KGB
11/28/09
#12
Quote by CoreysMonster
I thought the formula was being yourself, being confident, nice, and surrounding yourself with people with similar interests to yourself?a

pfft... nope.
#13
thats how everyone knew me, i can hold my drink!!!!

Edit* i was also know for being a complete dick
Last edited by thamason69 at Jun 14, 2010,
#15
Not really a formula, as more of a step-by-step guide.
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#16
Quote by CoreysMonster
nah, that's college.

That's how it is in my high school... >.>
KLH & KGB
11/28/09
#17
It's all based on personal experience guys. I know it's not the only route but it's probably the fastest besides getting drunk and crashing into something and then posting the pictures of your mangled car on facebook.
#18
I'm cool in my school, and I haven't been to a single party.
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#19
Quote by GerGuam
blahblahblah op


1 will get you no where, i certainly wouldn't want a bunch of people who don't care for me in my house, or at my party.

2 no, cool people wear suits and/or are naturally fashion coordinated.

3 is for douche bags

4 no one gives two shits about my or anyone elses recording equipment.

5 those people aren't cool, neither are the people hanging out with them.

but i think that was your point


Being in highschool is pretty damn uncool to begin with anyway.
Last edited by stratkat at Jun 14, 2010,
#20
Actually, I think this is a much more true forumula (that is actually a formula):

X = Number of friends
A = Your personality
D = The "Oddness" factor
C = Your insecurity about the "Oddness" factor
G = Your looks
P = The "Coolness" factor

(A - (D*(C-P))) * G = X


qed, bitches.
#21
Quote by CoreysMonster
Actually, I think this is a much more true forumula (that is actually a formula):

X = Number of friends
A = Your personality
D = The "Oddness" factor
C = Your insecurity about the "Oddness" factor
G = Your looks
P = The "Coolness" factor

(A - (D*(C-P))) * G = X


qed, bitches.


....seeing you came up with that i'm guessing you weren't very popular>>


nerd
#22
Quote by CoreysMonster
Actually, I think this is a much more true forumula (that is actually a formula):

X = Number of friends
A = Your personality
D = The "Oddness" factor
C = Your insecurity about the "Oddness" factor
G = Your looks
P = The "Coolness" factor

(A - (D*(C-P))) * G = X


qed, bitches.
You can't post Q.E.D. as you have not demonstrated a proof, merely stated a formula.

Learn 2 proof.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#23
You can't force yourself to be cool, cos you'll just look ackward.

You either have it or you don't.
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#24
Quote by CoreysMonster
Actually, I think this is a much more true forumula (that is actually a formula):

X = Number of friends
A = Your personality
D = The "Oddness" factor
C = Your insecurity about the "Oddness" factor
G = Your looks
P = The "Coolness" factor

(A - (D*(C-P))) * G = X


qed, bitches.


Ha. well done sir
#25
Quote by stratkat
....seeing you came up with that i'm guessing you weren't very popular>>


nerd

actually, since my insecurity about my "oddness" factor was relatively small during later years, and my "coolness" factor, looks and personality were all pretty high, I did have quite alot of friends, without being a total tool or pretending to be someone I wasn't. That's the good thing about the "oddness" factor, as long as your "coolness" factor is above your "insecurity", it actually positively affects your overall popularity.

Alternatively, up until around 17.5, my "insecurity" factor was really high, which affected the overall balance of friends.

It's a tried and true formula.


but you're right, I'm still a total nerd.


Quote by axeslash
You can't post Q.E.D. as you have not demonstrated a proof, merely stated a formula.

Learn 2 proof.


Based on the above observations, Q.E.D..

Bitch.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Jun 14, 2010,
#26
well technically ts said popular, not cool, so...i guess most of that crap would make you popular where like, i lot of people are talking about what a douche/tool you are, but it'll def not make you cool>>
Last edited by stratkat at Jun 14, 2010,
#27
Lmao, this is awesome. The sad thing is, there are kids who do stuff just like this at my school. And guess what! They're the cool kids! **** the world.
#28
Quote by aCloudConnected
Lmao, this is awesome. The sad thing is, there are kids who do stuff just like this at my school. And guess what! They're the cool kids! **** the world.

That's the beauty of it. Everyone probably thinks I made this up to be funny and whatnot. It's true though.
#29
Quote by GerGuam
That's the beauty of it. Everyone probably thinks I made this up to be funny and whatnot. It's true though.


And to add to that, I'm 15 and hate most of the kids I go to school with. Unomotivated junkies who are just going to bring the world closer to it's inescapable self destruction.
#30
I used to be legit. I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. But now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit.


There's blood in the water
Sinking, always sinking

#31
Quote by CoreysMonster
Based on the above observations, Q.E.D..

Bitch.
Even if what you just said was at all relevant you have still not demonstrated a proof.

Suck it.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#32


You will never be as cool as this dog.

All discussion after this is irrelevant.


Also it appears a lot of people need to grow up.
You'd be surprised how well other people respect you when you act like an adult.
Last edited by stratkat at Jun 14, 2010,
#33
Quote by CoreysMonster
I thought the formula was being yourself, being confident, nice, and surrounding yourself with people with similar interests to yourself?


I tried that and I got marked as a nerd.
#34
Quote by Tarsplitter
I tried that and I got marked as a nerd.


there is no hope for you my friend.

no seriously, just be who you want and try to find people with similar interests.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#35
Confirming that drinking is the way to be cool in high school
I listen to mostly anything, except country and rap.
#36
s'all kewl brah' cuzz have beer will parteh, y'know brohan? s'like holy **** man eff football cuzz s'like bee ess 'nuweh y'know bruh. s`all lyk gimme sum nux brah'
[HARLEY-DAVIDSON]



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stroke the furry walls.
#37
sadly, this seems to be the truth at my school, only replace the rap act with a lame screamo band.
#38
Step 1: Ignore TS's advice
Step 2: Do whatever the hell you want and don't think about if it's 'cool' or not.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit!
PPPPPPPOSTFINDER
#39
If I'd have done that at my school it would have elevated me to Alan Partridge-esque levels of loserdom.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#40
At my school here's the formula..

Let p=how much of a party person you are
Let b=how much of a jerk you are and how much you talk about other people behind their backs (or to their face for that matter)
Let f=amount of friends

p+b=f

Yeah, pretty simple where I am.
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