This is one I sort of had lying around - I'm not really too sure of how to start it off, but am pretty happy with the rest. What do you think? How could I also improve it?

Also, what sort of a vibe does it give to you? Any names crop up, that I could expand on when writing lyrics?
This one is really old, and I haven't really thought much about it - so harsh crit, really harsh crit is ok... as long as it helps me improve it

Intended to be heard in midi

C4C as always!

Last edited by ankthebank at Jun 15, 2010,
One minute, i'll upload them one by one - it'll be easier in the long term that way

EDIT: There you go, done
Last edited by ankthebank at Jun 15, 2010,
The bass is bit too dominant, but I think that it might be the point, since it is more active than the guitar lines.
The ambience of the choir aah's gave it an extra dimension, but the piano seemed a bit unnecessary. Even in the ending section, it was kinda weak and drowned out by the bass voicings.

I guess the point of doing something pop-ish would be so that it's easy to follow. That accessibility does help with good song structure, but it does get a bit tired to the more musically inclined (or at least elitest).

I think a bit more variation would help strengthen this piece. Not necessarily in the structure, as that happens to be the strongest part of the song. I'm thinking melodically and rhythmically. Not to be offense, but it does sound a bit played out.
Simplicity works wonders, but it often becomes dull after repeated listens.
One of the few bands that I can think of that is instantly accessible, while retaining lots of depth is Closure in Moscow. You may wanna look into them to see what I'm talking about.
Cool - thanks for the advice. No offense taken, I need as much crit as possible to make this into a good piece (this is one of my weaker ones)!

I'll look at 'Closure In Moscow' tomorrow, thanks for the suggestion
I really like it!
i usually wouldn't go much on this genre.
The bass is great!, overpowering. But in a good way.
kind of reminds me of kings of leon. at little. In the way they have the bass much more dominant.
overall good sound!
thanks for the crit on my song too.
Nice song dude. The poppy vibe works really well.

To crit!

Bar 12 (and all the other bars that are the same as it, eg 44) sounds pretty dissonant. I'm not sure if you wanted this or not (dissonance in pop song, shaking it up or accidental?), but to me at least it sounded jarring. There were a few bars like this in the song actually, where the guitars and bass sounded dissonant together (59 too). Intentional? If you really want that poppy vibe, you might want the bass doing its fill using pretty much just the notes in the chords the guitars are using (and a few inbetween), all the time.

In the "verses", it sounds really good when you let the bass "breathe". Those spaces in the bassline really enhance the feel of the song, imo.

The build-up at 65 worked well. I like how it deepened at 69, those low F's were unexpected, but cool. Not so sure about the piano playing powerchords. It might sound better if the piano was actually playing the full majors and minors (or even "pretty" chords, like sevenths and suses? Sus chords. and 5add9 chords sound good in pop rock)-powerchords on a piano generally don't sound amazing.

The guitar solo was good. I like how the first half was sort of like a rock solo (bends, high up on the neck) and the second half was like a pop solo (repeated notes blending with the rest of the band). Melded well, and made a good sort of outro too.

Apart from the dissonant bars, the whole song sounded really good altogether. The bass sort of being the "main" instrument was clever and worked really well in the song (the jumpy bassline sounded awesome).
I'm Sam