i read a pretty poem
and though i liked it
i felt like i'd missed the point,
the message, the reason
for why it was written,
or whatever else you wanna call it.
i listened to some music and was told
that i've missed the boat,
but i took no notice because it's only
music and i don't like boats anyway.
i watched some shitty anime film
and apparently time waits for no one,
and by now i was getting tired of the
cryptic bullshit that meant nothing to me,
so **** it, i thought, and went outside
to watch the sunset,
but by that time it was already dark.
Last edited by michal23 at Jun 14, 2010,
Its nice, but somewhat surreal, yet I feel the poems message. This isa difficult peice to crit, so im just gonna leave it at this; part of me feels like I've missed the point of this poem. I still like it. Make what you will of it.
Haha, I like this. I'm going to have to agree in saying that this is probably not the easier piece to crit. So I'll just say this - I wasn't sure what I was going to be reading when I read the first couple of lines, but by the end, I'm pretty sure you achieved exactly what you were aiming to.
i look down at my hands,
like they were mirrors.

what was the poem?
I'll write you out some Bradbury tomorrow.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
The ending was very good and the lines about missing the boat did make me smile I loved them. its just so blunt and simple when on the other hand you're talking about everything being cryptic and the ending fits really well