#1
Made some fairly drastic edits to the original piece, have a read and let me know what you think

Drive Home, Dark Road
Radio, Talk Show
Home soon, happy place
As the darkness closes in

Headlights on the road like bright white eyes
Blur of red lights and they're gone, blank and deep black
Pull me away, pull me away
Don't let me die, don't let me crash

Twisted metal, broken glass
Dancing shadows, dark grass
Racing pulse, heart in mouth
You weren't the only one about

Headlights on the road like bright white eyes
Blur of red lights and they're gone, blank and deep black
Pull me away, pull me away
Don't let me die, don't let me crash

Stumble Back, Gravel Verge
Mangled wreck where two lanes merge
Red stains the white stripes
And they can't hear you shout their name

Headlights on the road like bright white eyes
Blur of red lights and they're gone, blank and deep black
Pull me away, pull me away
Don't let me die, don't let me crash

Driven away, by all the hate
Pull me away, from all the pain
Burning inside, don't let me die
Crashing the car, the fire goes out.


(Original piece here https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1317106)

Thanks for reading, C4C?
#3
Hey,

I really liked this. I took a quick look at the original piece which confirmed my thoughts on the subject and the meaning behind it. It's rather deep and amongst, the short stacato phrases there seems to be alot of meaning behind it.

My favourite part has to be

Twisted metal, broken glass
Dancing shadows, dark grass
Racing pulse, heart in mouth
You weren't the only one about


It's very sombre and upsetting, which is, I'm sure, what you were going for. All over, it's a fantastic piece, and I'm sure its very special to you as you said what it's about.
#4
Thanks mate, means a lot.

This was originally the first piece I ever wrote, I posted it here, received some feedback, and its now in its current form, which I consider performance ready, but obviously more feedback on the changes is nice. I tried to increase the imagery in the piece, after a comment previously made, which is why that stanza was completely changed, and is, as you say, intended to invoke those feelings.

Anyway, thanks very much for the feedback, and good luck with the B&H piano solo. You will have a lot of my respect if you can pull it off