Make out that he is gay: get him to follow so you are 'less suspicious' of him. Convince everyone that he is gay (apart from your wife) and then make him suffer an accident.

Time on earth is like butterscotch; you really want more, even though it will probably just make you ill.

Certified lurker
"Feels good man"

Nah I would probly not say anything and just pack my shit and move out without her knowing,leaving the wife devastated and feeling like shit for a long time.

I think the females don't cop enough blame in these situations.
No. 6 was the funniest.

6. Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not retarded.
I guess I was the only one who found it amusing.
"Music became a healer for me. And I learned to listen with all my being. I found that it could wipe away all the emotions of fear and confusion relating to my family." Eric Clapton
I found it hilarious.
Quote by Riffofthebeast
hitler could have conquered the entire world if he just sent an assasin to every enemy country and have their leader assasinated
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Ass K. Ikcer."
"Ass K. Icker who?"
*Making with the punching and the kicking and the whatsit*

Or alternately,

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Stop being an idiot."


"Knock knock."
"Who's the--"
"Shut the hell up."

Or something like that. I've always found that knock-knock jokes turn into great love-hate Ahnald-style one-liners.

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 75-87
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2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 92-54
I would love to see the reaction of the second guy when he first started reading that.
Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
I'd take a picture and tell him to keep the bitch.

Number 6 and the note after 9 are the funnier parts.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
Last edited by 0RI0N at Sep 4, 2010,
That guy's a genious.
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
I love you guys...
E-adopted by Andrea55

Quote by RubberPuppiessu
sucks to be you

Quote by metal4eva_22
you fail on so many levels it's funny


[Insert statement here]