#1
Lyrics for a Progressive Thrash Metal song off my band's (Archaotic) upcoming E.P. of the same name. Tell me what you think, be harsh!

Edit: C4C by the way.

A tortured man I was sworn to be,
My life one shattered memory,
All my days destined to be tormented.

An evasive premonition
Foreshadowed my life,
Amorphous delusions convulse my mind.

Consumed into a master plan,
Betrayed by reason,
Engaging dimensions off reality.

When lands of terror spike my mind
And my foreboding actions unwind
Have I lost my human kind?

From memory to madness
One more day I wish to live bereft of heinous demonic gladness
From memory to madness
Eternally will I wander earth in bouts of burning demonic sadness

It all began in an act of rage,
Betrayed by a brother on my coming of age,
A catastrophic twist of fate.

Amorphous delusions contort my soul
And cataclysmic tales unfold,
Sanity falls prey to this black hole.

A falling star on judgement day,
The preachers weep and the elders pray
Arcturus guide my way.

Time splits into one precious moment,
When aeons and seconds fall hand in hand,
Blackened figures form in my mind.
Last edited by Ripshadow at Jun 17, 2010,
#2
Not really not my cup of tea lyric wise but a good read non-the-less. I really liked:

It all began in an act of rage,
Betrayed by a brother on my coming of age,
A catastrophic twist of fate.

Amorphous delusions contort my soul
And cataclysmic tales unfold,
Sanity falls prey to this black hole.

A falling star on judgement day,
The preachers weep and the elders pray
Arcturus guide my way.

Time splits into one precious moment,
When aeons and seconds fall hand in hand,
Blackened figures form in my mind.


Basically, the whole section after the chorus!

The chorus itself, it just seems off to me although I can't really pinpoint what it is. I think it's more the second line that doesn't do it for me.

Overall though, good read!
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

C4C - Songwriting and Lyrics

- Hung Up on You -
- Apathy Unending -
#3
Thrash metal can be very tricky to nail lyrics to... but i think you've done a decent job i liked this verse.... "It all began in an act of rage,
Betrayed by a brother on my coming of age,
A catastrophic twist of fate."

the annoying thing is the three sentence deal you've got going :P i can't get a structure out of it... but yea... otherwise awesome :P

C4c??
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1327281
#4
Thanks for the crits! I've been told the chorus sounded a bit off before, that it was too long and the words were just being crammed in there. As for the three sentences per verse, it sounds pretty well over the riff that we have for it.