#1
I thought I'd try to write something again. Hope you like it.

Peach Mountains
Its 3 in the morning, walking out the door,
the mountains look peachy and placid.
I smile at my feet on the crumble of stones
between the back porch of my house
and the garden shed, under the dim light
of the growing morning sun – I love it.

When I taste the ripeness of the peach,
I'm reminded of the warmth that is summer,
and how it's so different from the winter.
Without snow, winter is just a word.
Without creativity, a countryside is
just an emptiness of quiet – and I love it.
#2
this was conservative which makes what few images you have really resonate; i really love the juxtaposition of fresh sunrise and ripe peaches, it just makes sense. that being said it feels a little slight for the length and a little too straight-forward and prose-y to appreciate the craft, but still, if not earth-shattering, this still conveys a much enjoyed pleasantness. very nice.
#3
I really like this. I agree with NGD1313 the imagery is really good and gives a really strong peaceful feeling. I think though the shortness of it means it really nice and to the point. Its better than having something really long with less of a meaning.
#4
I think this is a nice read, you said you were trying to write so if you were just trying to write something, or something nice, youve done it, and done it well. This almost painted a nice image I would want to hang in my home. idk about it being too short though, you were just trying to write something and longing-ing (?) it would only make that fact stand out I'd assume. All in all, it was really nice. Cheers.


on another read, I'm wondering where in the world you are to see the sunrise at 3am?
Last edited by CarnivalBeam at Jun 20, 2010,
#5
Quote by CarnivalBeam
on another read, I'm wondering where in the world you are to see the sunrise at 3am?
That's it. I live in Ireland and I saw the light either going down over the mountains, or I saw it coming up over the mountains. Either way it was weird.

Thanks very much everybody!