#1
Hey guys!

To make it easier for me to organize my tunes for C4C I decided to upload a group of five songs inside one .zip folder.

The songs in this group are -

Anxiety - A commercially viable melodic death song, with of course my own twist to it - a mix of black metal and a bit of dissonance .

Parasitic Humanity - Technical/progressive death/black metal, sweeps ahoy! Pretty brutal song.

Aethereal Facade - Progressive Black/Death, like a mix of Opeth and Pain of Salvation turned into technical death. One of my longer songs, about 8 minutes long.

Hyperactive Delirium - Extremely dissonant and technical metal, very rhythmic oriented and some seriously crazy solos. Not easy listening, in any sense.

Decomposition - Prog/tech death, very busy piece with a lot going on for all instruments, and a lot of time signature changes.

So if I critted one of your songs, pick one that sounds pleasing to your tastes, or crit one as you wish and I'll get back to you on one of your songs. Cheers!
Attachments:
JazzÐeath's Uber Folder.zip
Last edited by JazzDeath at Jun 20, 2010,
#2
Firstly, thanks for the crit.
Secondly, I'm listening to hyperactive delirium.

Oh this is very dissonant, you weren't lying. This really is insane, bass fill at 21 is awesome.
Section 3 is even more dissonant then the last, but i like the rhythm you've got going there.
And then it's the same as before.
I like the staccato 4/4 bit and then the bass part in the next bit is nice, the bass is really standing out in this song.
And then a mental solo, it's actually really good and quite melodic compared to the rest of the song.
And then solo 2 is more what i expected, and insane chromatic solo, i love it.
Nice mood to the next bit with the let ring chords.
And then a crazy jazz part. Just when i thought this couldn't get any weirder.
Also the pace in this song is relentless, there is no slower part. I really like that clean bit actually.
And then more repeated bits from earlier, but they're nicely placed so it doesn't sound boring at all.
And then the riff that ends it is good.
Over all that was good. Dissonant, interesting rhythms, good solos, sick bass part and a relentless pace that made my eyes explode. Well done.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
#3
Anxiety - It has a little "in flames" feeling in the main riff, only thing i would remove are some of the pinch harmonics in the riff starting at bar 93. Other than that, great song!

Aethereal Facade - I really liked it. It seems a bitch to play, but the song is awesome!

Decomposition - Sounds like Necrophagist, which is great. I would end the song with the chord on bar 270, though is only a matter of taste

Hyperactive delirium - Great. Nothing to say.

Parasitic Humanity - I think it needs some work in part 2, with the clean guitars and the stuff. The ending riff is killer, though.

Hope it helps, stay metal!
#4
ANXIETY! YES.
I really enjoyed this song, great riffs (my personal fave was during the bridge).
Sounds like something Id blast in my car while driving. I ended up turning the drum track up cuz its too good to not be a highlight. The song flowed really well and that whammy chaos thing you had going on was SICK. I really dont have anything bad to say about this song, but if I was nitpicking Id have the fade out last a little longer. I think just having a little bit of background during the bass at the end would make it sound more...conclusive?
#5
Just passing by to say I always loved your songs and I would actually write a detailed review but I'd rather keep headbanging to this folder for a while instead.
My name is Jagayama. I spin for a living.
#6
Hyperactive delirium -

If you can play this solo, you're amazing.

Sadly, I doubt you can.
#8
Lol, I think I'll never be able to escape this discussion.

First of all I brought up the fact that it can be recorded at half speed once for decomposition, there are also ways to split guitar duties into three tracks where there are huge chords or to modify chords to remove certain tones, etc etc, there are always ways to modify things when recording will come into play.

Secondly no, I can't play the solo, unfortunately; can you play the bass and drum tracks on your songs? I wonder if you can, because personally, I'm a drummer, not a guitarist, even though I compose music with guitars I can't necessarily play all of it...

I wish I were rich because I do know a guitarist who has a diploma in classical guitar (performance, p.h.d level) who could record my songs, and with feeling and dynamic, for recording; unfortunately on thatalso, I do not have the money at the moment.

It is in the plans, and I do hope very much to make this a viable, real instrument project, with vocals... I am patient though and realize by honing my composition skills slowly and surely and working out as many kinks as possible, through people's criticism and through the things I learn from trial and error, I will ensure to have a solid product in the end.
#9
Critting Aethereal Facade.

Interesting introduction. Makes not know what to expect.
Verse 1 riff, comes in smoothly, and is just badass.
Verse 2 riff, again solid riff, nice use of bass.
Verse 1 C&D, impressive riffs, but at this point I don't feel it moving anywhere.
Re-Intro works beautifully.
Clean interlude and Mid section definitely put the movement back in the piece.
Epic Chords, Drum N' Bass, I like. It works.
Breakdown, Not sure if it counts as a breakdown, but it is pretty badass because of the arpeggios.
Chromotose, works, nothing to say.
Verse 1, really interested to hear what kind of electronics you're using over this.
Beast Awakens, definitely feels like a climax, but I feel like it needs a lead, either by using a third track, or by reworking the two guitar parts into something one can play.
Overall, very strong unique song. Very interesting bass style. Nothing bad to say. Good work.


Thanks for the crit and good words. Unfortunately I didn't see your suggestion until I wrote the next 3 or 4 sections of the song. Haha. Oh well.
EDIT: Actually, I inadvertently kind of went with your idea anyway. You suggested moving to 6/8, and I used triplets in 4/4. Close enough. Haha.
Last edited by Macabre_Turtle at Jun 21, 2010,
#10
Quote by JazzDeath
Lol, I think I'll never be able to escape this discussion.

First of all I brought up the fact that it can be recorded at half speed once for decomposition, there are also ways to split guitar duties into three tracks where there are huge chords or to modify chords to remove certain tones, etc etc, there are always ways to modify things when recording will come into play.

Secondly no, I can't play the solo, unfortunately; can you play the bass and drum tracks on your songs? I wonder if you can, because personally, I'm a drummer, not a guitarist, even though I compose music with guitars I can't necessarily play all of it...
..ETC ETC ETC..


Of course I can play the bass tracks of my songs xD

I can also play the keyboard parts of my songs

And, I don't think /ANYONE/ could play that solo, I'm somewhat decent at guitar (Modesty ftw) and that's just insane...
#11
i only heard two songs, aethereal facade and anxiety, i am not a big fan of this sorta music tbh, but i have to say that these songs were pretty great, especially anxiety especially the interlude part it was very awesome
il sara7a il sara7a, i made you a goat but i eated it

we are not racist, we hate everyone equally
#12
I listed to the songs twice each. once with a full composition, and then again with only the bass and drums...You write amazing bass and drum compositions, i have to say.
#13
Hey man

Thanks for your crit.

I chose to go with Decompistion. sounded brutal and im always keen to hear abit of prog.

Ok so the intro, when i first heard it i was like "WTF", but then i went back and listened to is several times. then i finally pick up on it. Its a grower that intro. haha I love the groove at bar 5. Very death metal. haha. Cant think of anything it reminds me of so thats good. One thing im noticing is you amazing bass lines. i coment you for that. paying attention to bass.

Somthing about bar 52 reminds me of Opeth. just the chords.

The riff at 112, whoa man, that is a mint section. im hoping you will have some clean singing. I really hope that you have a proper singer, cause i checked out some of your other stuff and allthough growling is a must have in some parts. so is clean.

154 had me grooving along. makes me want to kill some one violently, while laughing.

180 is very clever, also the section following it is very thoughtfull too.

Riff 120 is pretty jazz. i like how you have the clean bit going in somtimes.

236 - someone has been listening to dream theater. naughty naughty

The ending is cool, but considering how epic and cool the rest of the song is. i think it is weak. but if you do leave it like it is. then maybe spread the fade out, double it, at least.

To be perfectly honest, with the execption of the ending (which doesnt ruin the song, just not as good as the rest), this is a really really amazing song. you are a very talented writer.

Well done sir
#14
Thanks for the comments guys!

Quote by YoungViking
... if I was nitpicking Id have the fade out last a little longer. I think just having a little bit of background during the bass at the end would make it sound more...conclusive?


Noted, considering it's definitely the first song I'll record I'll mess around at the end - the whammy bar sounds sweet on GP but I'll most likely add other effects to make a strange effect fade out on guitars while the bass finishes up the melody. Thanks for the crit!

Quote by BKGMorley
The ending is cool, but considering how epic and cool the rest of the song is. i think it is weak. but if you do leave it like it is. then maybe spread the fade out, double it, at least. To be perfectly honest, with the execption of the ending (which doesnt ruin the song, just not as good as the rest), this is a really really amazing song. you are a very talented writer.


Thanks a lot. After a lot of thought I've decided to take everything off past the final chord and make it switch directly to the next song - nearly every negative comment about the song has been about that ending so it's gotta go =).

Quote by foxtom
Anxiety - It has a little "in flames" feeling in the main riff, only thing i would remove are some of the pinch harmonics in the riff starting at bar 93. Other than that, great song!


Yeah, for the pinch harmonics I will not base myself off GP for that considering harmonics on GP sound like shit - I will try it out on recording and if it comes off as more annoying than interesting, I will change it. thanks!

And as for Parasitic, I will check the middle section... but I really like the atmosphere it sets on the clean part, it remains to see if it creates the proper, thick mood that I want it to on recording.

Quote by JunKDepot
I listed to the songs twice each. once with a full composition, and then again with only the bass and drums...You write amazing bass and drum compositions, i have to say.


I really appreciate that - I always try to make the most out of the 4 basic instruments and I think the role of bass in particular is often overlooked in metal. Thanks a lot!
#15
Aethereal Facade:

The intro screams Opeth both old and new. The verse riffs are fierce and solid. I honestly have nothing bad to say about the first half of the song. The transition to the acoustic section was flawless. I liked how you hinted at the transition by using the acoustic before the actual change was made.

The return was excellent and I liked how you gave the bass part a little more of a lead part. The breakdown was unexpected but I can see how it can be effective when vocals are done. Very PoS. The Chromatose part is again, a part I can see the PoS influence.

The next transition was a bit strange, but I still liked it after a couple more listens. I like the idea of using an octaver on the bass, but how are you going to do the switches between fretted and fretless basses effectively if you are actually going to record this?

The fadeout outro was very good. It was powerful and a great way to resolve things.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1331538
#16
Quote by JazzDeath
I really appreciate that - I always try to make the most out of the 4 basic instruments and I think the role of bass in particular is often overlooked in metal. Thanks a lot!
just stopping by to +1 this statement. I may throw in a review later on, though.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
#17
Since it has very slight similarities to my song (4 tracks, lengthy song), I chose to do my return crit on your song Aetheral Facade.

-Something sterile in the intro. Might not be fair to compare to your previous works, but it doesn't have that certain oomph to it that I've come to expect from you.

-Even in the main riff (Verse 1a&b etc.) it lacks drive. I'm listening to it in GP4, switched the timbre to that of distorted guitars, and still nothing. I'm presuming this is one your older songs, since you always have a level of depth in your riffage that makes me want to revisit it. The switch off of chordage and trem riffing, idk. It doesn't work for me. There's plenty of potential here, but I feel that it's a bit sloppy. Technical for the sake of being technical. I also feel that the melody runs off without proper closure. It feels so empty.

-Verse 2 gets the ball rolling. The rhythm works, regardless of timbre. And the bass is quite driving in this section. It's sinister without resorting to the cheap tricks of "grimness". There's just something satisfying here.

-Re-intro, meh. A bit better than the verse 1, as I'm a sucker for full chorage. I have the same issues with this as I do with said verse though. That's due to the rhythmic motifs being the same. Quite overbearingly obvious.

-Clean interlude and beyond. The song. Is. IMMENSE.
This sort of climatic instrumental interplay is what I've come to expect from you. It's very driven in a unified direction, telling me what to feel. I typically hate that, but it works when you hear that voice telling you this is exactly what you want.
Epic chords is grand. A bit simplistic, yes. But it's a great set-up for:

-The Rapcore Breakdown. That was pure, unadulterated rape (sorry for being repetitive).
There is merit in breakdowns, especially when done like that.

-Same applies for Chromatose, although the drums were a bit maniac. I know that's the point. Still felt a bit odd though.

-Verse 1 again?!?
Very much anti-climatic for me. It's not that it's a bad riff, it just lacks power like the majority of the song.

-Beast awakes is probably the best way to go about ending this song. It does give it a sense of finality. A bit of a let down, but conclusions almost never live up to the expectations that we hold. At least that's how I view it personally.

A solid piece, but that's it really is. The thing that keeps it from being exceptional is the main riff. It's too Black Dahlia Murder. Perhaps it's because I resent them for releasing something as weak as Deflorate. Maybe it's representative of the ideals that I held in you and your songs.
Or it could all be bullshit.

Regardless, I did enjoy the piece. It had it's moments.
#18
Dude the first song the one about Dormant, sounds sooo Paper Mario lol, like level and boss fight and everything which is like lol awesome because I'm playing the game right now. Chords are like wtf who made these, lol, but they're awesome and creative which is coolies. Rapcore part was my favorite out of this song.

Parasitic the intro riff is blastly sick nasty I like it A LOT. Weird that the first verse is the second one lol. Chorus is awesome but are you the god of speed or something jesus christ can you do that bro? lol. Heavier was my favorite part. I'm on a tight schedule right now sorry dawg.
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
#19
I am listening to Parasitic Humanity.

Ok so first I like the sweeps, but it feels there something is missing in the background, as it just does not fee complete.
Measure 13: The sweeps are getting old, change it up a little bit.
The 2nd guitar lead in measure 20 needs to be louder, as I can hear it, but can't understand what it is or where its coming from.
Verse 1 (after verse 2) Is good, keep that.
Same with Verse 2, except for guitar 2 volume on the leads.
6/4ths needs some sort of harmony going as it just sounds too plain and not deep enough.
I love the chorus.
No matter what you say, the bridge sounds fine to me.
I hate how Part 2 comes in, it needs to be heavier, and the bass needs to be louder.
Heavier still needs to be a little heavier.
My only problem with the ending is: How the **** are you going to play that?
Chaos goes on for way to long, and the bass leads are way to quiet. turn them up.

There we go, thats all I have to say.
Overall a pretty good song. 8/10
#20
I will agree with you on the sweeps getting old for the beggining, although it is a bit dragged out as an introduction it was a way to introduce every instrument's change to the sweep patterns, being the way the punches are constructed on the first, third, fourth, sixth and seventh time in the measure, and then the harmony - I'll try to implement a rhythmic into it like the second time the verse comes around.

Part 20 Mixing issues, pardon me but I generally mess around with the sounds and volumes of songs and rse on and off while composing so it might not be the best setting for your midi, it also might not be the best setting for your midi card - that part in particular the bass part is playing fortissimo chords because that's what is accentuated. so it's normal that you hear that louder than the rest.

I agree on the 6/4 part, I just tried to make a harmony and it sounded like shit, so I left it like that lol - I'll try working something out with it again.

And yeah the bridge is fine, the modifications were already done to it, marker error =P.

The transition into part 2 only sounds right when I put it in RSE, both guitars at 16, bass at 11, drums at 12 in volume - it sounds like shit in midi and it's not supposed to sound, heavy, it's supposed to sound like a punch but... hollow, like you just sucked something out of the energy of the song.

Part 2 is doom, drawn out chords man, it'll sound heavy as bricks when played through a powerful amplifier, but on midi, it sounds way too flat. I can turn up the bass though =).

How am I gonna play the ending? I suggest you take a look at the Emperor tab book, lol. They write shit like that all the time.

And chaos is loooooooooooong, I agree, but the frontman goes nuts and it's a stage presence/vocal/live show thing.

Thanks for the crit man, I appreciate attention to detail =).
#21
Id really like to hear the "Impossible" solos in Hyperactive Delirium, But I can't open the Zip on my computer. Care to post the MIDI file underneath it?

Are the solos like Light speed? Impossible Stretches?

Also, about recording at half speed and speeding it up... IMO thats cheating for performing sake, but as for a musical standpoint Im fine with it.

If you have to bend rules to make a final musical product thats impossible to play, but great sounding, so be it. Just don't have the track play, and act like your playing it live.
#23
hey! Thanks for the crit :] Sorry it took me so long... but it's always good for a bump!

Crittin' Hyperactive Delirium as I listen:

Bar 1: The first two chords threw me off, but the way you resolved them was very nice. Interesting harmonies and stuff at Bar 10. I like the rhythm a lot. Very "jumpy"

Section 3: Reminds me of a carnival, honestly. Like a seriously ****ed up carnival. In a good way.

Bar 56: good transition. I can really hear some very low growls over this.

Bar 73: I LOVE it. Great rhythm and stuff.

bar 77: Solid riff. But by now it's becoming a bit tiring to listen to. There's no real movement forward...

Solo 1: Loving it. They rhythm is great as well. Definitely has that carnival sound still-present.

Solo 2: It might be even better than the first. You have a great mind for this type stuff.

Bar 125: Great way to break up the monotony of the last progression. The lead over it was nice.

Bar 142: Oh my god. I was COMPLETELY taken off guard by this. New favorite part. I love the interplay between the guitar and bass here.

Outro: Good way to end it, still high energy but it brings the song toward it's final resolution.

Overall it was a good song. I enjoyed it on many levels, and right when it started to get a little monotonous you brought in the solos and changed things up a bit. It fits it's title very well!

9/10... not really my style haha
#24
Just listened to hyperactive Delirium.

What is with you and these Wierd ass chords?

Very nice work with this one, and the title fits perfectly. Some sections were really awesome, close to mind blowing infact.

What about the solo being impossible? I ran into 3 or 4 measures that I couldn't play, but its more than possible.

Good song.
#25
Hi there,
So I've listened quickly to this folder and I conclude this:

- Musically, there are no real problems: everything is well written, etc..
- The originality goes along with complexity. Good [but we're still waiting to hear some recording stuff of yours .]

-For: Parasistic humainty, Hyperactive delirium.
Now the real problem is the fact that emotion is missing most of the time. Most of this work is just... "aristocratic". I have the same problem when I'm listening to some Obscura, Necrophagist, Death metal stuff. It's complex and so but I don't hear where is the soul of the musician. Here you have two songs perfectly written but they have - for me- no groove and worse, no elegance. They lack efficacity. And complex music without elegance and efficacity is indigestible.

- For decomposition.
Here it seems you have fun while writing. It's a lot better.

- For Anxiety.
Not so much dissonance makes it pleasant to hear.


Overall half of the time your lost in a too-much writing process including only perfection: you make the song sanitized. Worse if you succeed in recording those stuff like notes by notes it will sound like a robot, which is bad for every kind of music with real musicians behind. Then playing this live, the musicians will be absorbed in their play and the public will be there only to see them playing guitars...

Hope I'm wrong about it...
#26
Alright I going to critique Parasitic Humanity

I really like this sweep picking verse, sounds evil especially when the harmony comes in.
no complaints here

Ok now verse two sounds a bit like Become the Catalyst by All That Remains, kind of funny actually The only thing I don''t like is when you have the two sixteenths and then the triplet after the first chord. It sounds weird, just switch them around and it should be fine

Like the added chords for the rhythm at Verse 1

I don't really like the transition during the 6/4 bar. Maybe keep the tremolo picking? and the second time add a harmony and blast beats. That's just my opinion though

I really enjoyed the chord progression during the chorus, gets that evil sound again, nothing to change here

Verse 1,2 and then chorus again all good

I like how you used verse 1 as a transition flows really well into the bridge

As for the bridge itself, awesome job, it is pretty empty without chords but you addressed that, but personally i do like it

The intro to part 2 sounds a little less evil but I do think it makes for a good outro

I absolutely love part 2 just sounds so awesome like, everything's alright, but it's not

I like how the ending picks up some speed. this part sounds great too

Now chaos, I really didn't like any of it, the whole rhythm of it sounds just wrong, and the drums aren't very good either. You may want to just take out this part and have the section ending be the ending

Other than chaos, I love this song, the whole thing sounds great and theres not to much to change, still a little funny that you wrote something that sounds like All That Remains
9/10

I know this is kind of an old thread but C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345448