#1
My second song. Based off of internal conflict... It's gonna be loud and fast.
All feedback and criticism is appreciated.

Lying
Everythings okay
but I can see your full of sh*t

Trying
to convince me
but you're just wasting...
your f*cking breath!

You treat me like a moron
but that just might be you.
The hopes and dreams you're trying
to hold back and subdue,
are what will get you nowhere
and thats all because of you.

I'm Dying
to hear your excuses
the lies that you infuse

Crying
for forgiveness
and I know...
I want it too!

You treat me like a moron
but that just might be you.
The Hope and dreams you're trying
to hold back and subdue
are what will get you nowhere
and thats all...
because of you!!!
#2
you say loud and fast - I assume then there will be flamboyance after each chorus or something and general speedy goodness.
works well as a fast song as it flows nicely. the final verse is a bit of a swerve from the rest and sort of doesn't quite fit - it sounds good but every other word in this song is devoted to the fact its not happening - not really even accepting the possibility - which makes it seem a little bit of an afterthought that doesn't flow with the song where it does the tempo, but I'm slightly overplaying this I think and I can't think of what else would fit

overall it works well, nicely put together so it flows well - but be careful about stumbling over words in some of the longer bits.

A final q:
You going to put a repeat of the chorus after a solo at the end or something otherwise this will probs be like 2 mins
That Mad English Child 0.o
Gear: -
Fender Stratocaster
Les Paul custom
Washburn Force 4
Rickenbacker 4003
Self-hand made Electric guitar
Self-hand made Bass
and a rubbish acoustic =)