#1
Bord-em encompasses my life out shined by broken lights.
That continue to astound, breaking me of all i feel that's right.
I can't help but hate me for all the silly things i feel.
The pity i take on you and the way you pick and peel.
At times it's so awkward and i can't stand the silence.
But it's worth the pushing and containg all my violence.
It makes me feel that I'm alive.
I love when I'm alive.
I know that you love me, I could love you too.
But you leave me no cause , only reason to abuse.
I'll never be a pawn of love like you have chosen to.
I don't need to explain the reason I'm so cold.
It makes me feel that I'm alive.
I love when I'm alive.
#2
i dig it.
i love the length.
to many people try,
to force their lyrics,
into a bible.

to the point.
good imagery.
wouldn't change a thing.
at first i was apprehensive,
of the rhyming.
but i works just fine.
i'm not sure why i'm the only one to comment this so far.
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.
#3
Thanks brosiff.
I've been butting heads with my singer, he said my lyrics were rubbish
So i figure i just ask the internet what they thought, i knew they couldn't be that bad.
He just can't sing it like the chris cornell in my head can.
#4
This piece has some definite potential in it, I think you vocalist is having issues with because he can't see the potential as you need to flesh out some structure to it..

For me I see the hook simply being built around the line..

I'm Alive
There's no reason to explain
I know that you love me and the feeling ....(finish the pattern I'm just writing off the cuff)
Yeah I'm Alive
There's safety within your love
....
.... O you make me feel so Alive


I know it isn't the intent and feeling of your song I was just grabbing an idea and trying to flesh out a quick hook and seeing what I can develop in the 2 minutes here while trying to borrow from your phrases..if that makes any sense