#1
stawnding on a bridge looking down at
subtle rivers start - moving past rocks to form
streams like "you're beautiful and you're smart"
(!!!) she goes like that, transparent , one can see past
the surface sometimes (only sometimes.)
often thought it is

brown with murk, yet--
the water still flows forward

da,aging and wea,ing away slowly
I look down and see rebuked
a long, gallow faced man in the reflection
and I open my my mouth to contribute to the
language of the stream;
+ to spit/to say.
www.facebook.com/longlostcomic
#2
Didn't think the technique used in the comma-line offered much, but the rest of them (and the perceived content of the piece) read well. Enjoyed greatly.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching