#1
Sup guys... and girls

Despite how long i've been on here this is probably my first time foruming ever!

LOL anywayy... I have got a couple Guitar and Drum demo recordings on my band myspace I would hugely appreciate some feedback and 5 - 10 mins of your valuable time xD

It's regret that there are no vocals as yet as I don't have a vocalist and there are no bass lines as I've just found a bassist which is currently writing the parts for both tracks - so please take this into consideration before making any judgements =D

www.myspace.com/crypticcarnageuk

Ty in advance for your time

Leave a link in the reply to any material you have and I shall return the favour

Mikeyprs \\m//
#2
I'll write this as I go along:

Bringer of Your End -
- intro: fairly boring as it's just the same riff in straight repeats, seems too long until the drums come in. May improve with vocals, but I recommend some variations on the ends of the riffs
- riff: nice groove going on here, qould be pretty sweet without the straight repeats again
- bridge: Machine Head much? a little predicatable
- riff 2: more MH influence. Nice groove and harmonics but still, it's crying for variation
- break: nice ass-stomp riff, but the note groupings are slightly too predictable
- solo: watch those bends, keep them in tune/key. A few notes are out of key as well, and overall the solo feels a bit too timid for the piece

Friendly Betrayal -
- intro: far too much like the break in the first song, nice arpeggios though
- clean break: a fairly predictable transition after listening to your previous song, and sounds very alike, and the transition is very rough and jumpy
- riff 2: nice octave melody and nice chugs, despite the progression being very predictable
- fill: good transition back into main riff
- repeats: well, you know my gripes, seriously needs some variation in all these riffs, it sounds very copy+paste
- break: predictable groupings but a decent groove
- ARGH MORE COPYPASTE REPEATS
- fill: would have more effect if it wasn't the same fill every time. The first one was good, caught me by surprise but then it became predictable
- break 2: again, too much of the same

All in all it's a very good effort
Overall pointers:
- Less straight repeats. If a riff repeats 4 times in a row, instead of it going AAAA, try and write two variations of the riff, maybe just the last few notes, so it goes ABAC etc.
- A lot of your riffs sound very similar across both songs, try different keys and pedal notes.
- Recording quality is pretty dreadful: really needs a much tighter tone to make the riffs punch out. There are also pretty bad volume jumps between the distorted and clean riffs. Try double tracking the rhythm guitars as well, really helps thicken up the overall sound.
- Drums are fairly standard, could use more fills and bar-to-bar variations. Also, for the love of god, please don't use Guitar Pro drums
If you send me MIDI files I'll make you drumtracks on Superior 2.0 or DfH

I know a lot of that sounded pretty harsh but I think it's got a fair bit of potential if you're willing to properly sit down and think about the structure of the music. Vocals would add an absolute tonne to your songs and I'd love to hear them again when it's a full recording

C4C? 'A New Beginning (home recording test)' on my profile
ohai little sig.
#3
Hey Dude,

Much appreciated for the critical comments =p

I have to agree alot of it is very repetitive - but I guess with some vocals or even some bass it will add a ton of depth and not make it sound soo repetitive because it's not havin your full attention perhaps? Idk lol

LOL the comments aren't really harsh tbf - I thank you for the honesty xD

I know the solo was soo bad in Bringer.. I'm not much of a soloist but i gave it a good effort me thinks =]

The drum Tracks were infact suprisingly done with DFH (through FL) LOL (was a first time attempt at using the software) - I have since got SD with TMF as well as cubase 5 and It is my intention to re-record the two tracks and the other like 10 or so I have written as I recently noticed my Amp head has a DI port in the back to connect to my Tascam 2488mkII so who knows =p

I may be able to make it sound somewhat better =D

Again, Thanks for the comment dude.. I'll check yours out and hear whas going onnn

Mikeyprs
#4
Hi, thanks for your comment on my song !

For bringer of your end :
the intro is a little bit repetitive, but the transition intro/verse is awesome I think.
Drums are good in the verse (maybe just turn them up).
we can clearly hear your Machine Head influence (in the clean parts and the part with harmonics).
I didn't like the solo at all (bad tone in my opinion, + doesn't fit with the song).

Friendly betrayal :
Such a great intro, far less repetitive than for the first song.
Well, the pick sliding afeter the intro wasn't really good. Same thing for the clean part, it sound weird. As for the 0:5 part, the "lead" riff is good, but the tone kills him. Too noisy I think.
The artificial harmonics are good, but can be better, they aren't screaming as they should be.

And, for both songs, get a better tone for your guitar !
As for the drums, I can't really give you advice, I'm not a drummer !

But overall, you have very good ideas (maybe too Machine Head like for the first song), and you could get really good songs with a little work on the tone. Also, a singer would add a lot.