#1
The land stretched on
taught, unchanging for horizons.
Her vast, unchanging empire.
Still-virgin soil,
yet infertile to life.
Below, the Earth lay twisted.
Curved, compressed rock
beneath smooth, aching plains.
A riverbed lay barren
where water's touch
does not
will not
has never been.
This arid prairie is fruitless because of the queen
and her legislation.
Long live the queen.


c4c
#2
I like the imagery in the piece. As you had gathered from my most recent, I enjoy political commentary. Also, I particularly enjoyed the word horizons rather than the expected - miles. I tend to be very literal/logical in my reviews, and there was one thing that I got hung up on. If water had never been there...how could it be called a riverbed?

Keep up the good work.
#3
Quote by denizenz
I like the imagery in the piece. As you had gathered from my most recent, I enjoy political commentary. Also, I particularly enjoyed the word horizons rather than the expected - miles. I tend to be very literal/logical in my reviews, and there was one thing that I got hung up on. If water had never been there...how could it be called a riverbed?

Keep up the good work.

In my own perspective, sounds like a lot of symbolism going on. In particular, the bolded may refer to promises that were never realized, a riverbed that never met it's purpose for keeping the flow of water.

I like it, yet it seems like more can be added, depending on exactly whether this is for a song or not.

And I definitely dig those last three lines, a nice touch of "fuck you and what you have (not) done."

EDIT: Just realized that it was a poem, not a song, so ignore my second statement.
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Last edited by CL/\SH at Jun 25, 2010,