#1
What are we doing, what have we done
What will we do when we've lost everyone

What is the purpose, why are we fighting
If you can't love them all whats the point in deciding

We're all so lost here, looking for the one
That makes us happiest but whats done is done

You see its all been decided, there's no changing fate
You'll love who you love and when you see it, don't hesitate

Because it only comes up once, and when you know it, they know
And it'll stick out like a crow in the snow

And if you miss it, If you do hesitate
Even a little it'll fly away
Last edited by SundayFan at Jun 26, 2010,
#2
I like this; it feels fairly inspiring, which if I'm right is what you were going for, and it keeps a nice balance of originality in what could have been a very cliched set of lyrics given the theme.

Of each set of lyrics, I liked the 4th pair the least, I guess it's just because personally I felt that the rest of the (song? poem? whatever it might be) was stronger, but that could easily differ in the other replies you'll get.

The only things I can pick on is sometimes the word choice feels kind of awkward ("That makes us happiest..." and "and when you see it, don't hesitate"). Reading them written out in free form, they'd look just fine, as inspiring as the rest, but if there's going to be a particular rhythem to it, the word choices could pose a challenge.
And to flesh out what I just touched on, those two noted lines and "Because it only comes...they know" are some of the longest ones, and in the layout you have them in here, they come off unwieldly, and it throws the rhythem off for the second half of the song/poem.

After that latge paragraph it probably seems like I tore into the song (or poem), but I enjoyed reading it, I did think it was good and I'd like to see you do it justice by evening up the flow a bit. Good job