#1
This the first lyric I have ever written and I know it's vague as hell (and not very good), but it does have a meaning
Any criticism is more than welcome

His name suggests the superior
While I'm inferior in my pain
Thou art glorious but are you bitter
As I inure to thine rejection
I'm nothing but a lonely reflection
Will you drive me to tears

come over the sea fighting for your gain
you're my opium, my guide
in your voice I can reside
immure my heart in thine purity
and ignite the skies with your eyes
Quote by razorback91
Im sorry, I just don't see how you could argue that hardcore isn't metal. That just seems arrogant to me.

Yes, its its own kind of metal, but its still metal.
#2
im pretty sure ignite the skies with your eyes is already in a song somewhere. and the word flow is pretty good man but it just seems like ive heard this same thing over and over, its just so predictable you know? not bad at all though for a first attempt, back when i was first starting out i was rhyming words to my girlfriends name lol

edit:ignite the skies with your eyes is a lyric by Moonspell
Gibson Grand Concert Acoustic
roland AC90

I mean this one time I was jacking it pertty hard and was making noises and what not

You, my friend, are a genius!
Last edited by Skagasm at Jun 27, 2010,
#3
Here's a piece of advice:
1) Write your lyrics, then try to sing along to them with some chording or something.
2) Record yourself. It doesn't have to be a perfect recording.
3) Wait a day and listen to yourself again. Critique yourself.

The way I see your lyrics now, it's too... epic... for consumption.

Hope this helps?
Yamaha ERG 121
Yamaha F370TBS
Yamaha GA-10

NOOB KIT FTW

-------------------------

Lyrical Insanity:

Chasing Shadows
#4
Yeah, thanks! I understand what you mean
Quote by razorback91
Im sorry, I just don't see how you could argue that hardcore isn't metal. That just seems arrogant to me.

Yes, its its own kind of metal, but its still metal.
#5
His name suggests the superior
While I'm inferior in my pain
Thou art glorious but are you bitter
As I inure to thine rejection
I'm nothing but a lonely reflection
Will you drive me to tears
come over the sea fighting for your gain
you're my opium, my guide
in your voice I can reside
immure my heart in thine purity
and ignite the skies with your eyes"

not sure what they're talking about.
i could roll it, smoke it, and go lay in a hammock.
/it was good.
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.
Last edited by miloh.core at Jun 28, 2010,