Poll: What would you do?
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View poll results: What would you do?
Keep it, it's your Child.
205 26%
Keep it, i'm anti-abortion.
51 7%
Don't keep it.
518 67%
Voters: 774.
Page 1 of 15
#1
READ THE THREAD BEFORE YOU POST.


Quote by Vauxite
FINAL UPDATE

It's done.

Yesterday we were at hospital from 8am - 5.40pm.
26 Tablets, 2 Injections (one of which was the quarterly contraceptive injection)

It was awful to watch. The only way to describe was that she looked possessed most of the day. Sometimes it was funny though, anybody ever seen 'David After Dentist' on YouTube? Just like that.

She took 4 pills rectally, and either 2 or 4 pills vaginally, not so sure. The rest were taken orally.

When she was passing the foetus she had to push, just like giving birth. She pushed and the tray in the toilet caught something, so the nurse took it away to examine what it was. Whilst the nurse was away she felt the urge to push again, so she did. This time the foetus came out and she saw everything, the one thing the nurse told her not to do was to look at it. She was mortified.

All over now though, the nurses are surprises at how little she's bleeding.

Thanks for all your advice guys, it's been a great help.



***


Simple as that. My girlfriend is pregnant.

Have any of you guys been in this situation before? She told me she thought she was infertile, I've been having sex with her for 8 months without any contraception and this is the first time this has happened. She didn't use any contraception for a year with her previous boyfriend and it never happened with him either.

We're going to book an appointment at the Doctors for Tuesday.
What's going to happen there? Will they do it there and then? Or will they just assess her and then book another appointment to end it all?

I definately don't want to have it, not at 17. She's pretty sure she doesn't want to have it, she just doesn't like the thought of killing her child (which is understandable).

Thanks.
ᶌῖᶌα ɭα ɌεᶌσɭƲʈιʘϰ
Last edited by Vauxite at Jul 22, 2010,
#2
Don't bring a kid into the world if it isn't wanted.


On the other hand, if this is some freak occurence and is her only chance in life to have a kid, I would think carefully about keeping it.
#4
Quote by Vauxite
She told me she thought she was infertile, I've been having sex with her for 8 months without any contraception and this is the first time this has happened.

Is that so?

Also, one must wonder how she was able to discover her own infertility.

All joking aside though, it's probably in both of your best interests to not have the child.
#5
Why the hell would you ask the pit for advice on a question as important as this. You and your girlfriend need to seriously talk it over and decide between yourselves what you are going to do. Don't let anyone else influence you, because this is a life changing decision.
NO ONE EVER READS MY POSTS.
#6
Don't make any decisions before going to the doctors. Shit gets complicated.

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#7
it's up to you guys. It's your decision and yours only. It doesn't matter what other people think, but be aware of the risks in both cases. Negative feelings about an abortion can follow you your entire life, and can permanently damage the female body.
On the other hand, keeping it could make your lives very diffictult, especially if you don't have support from your families. Also, it depends on how your relationship with this girl is, and if you'd want to be connected to her for your entire life.

Also, if she was beleived to be infertile, this may be her only chance EVER to have a child. That also needs to be taken into consideration.

Go see a doctor, and TALK TO YOUR FAMILIES. I cannot stress this enough. Your families will be able to help you, even if they do not support it. They're going to find out anyway, it's better to have them at your side from the beginning.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Jun 27, 2010,
#8


EDIT: In all seriousness: do not bring an unwanted child into this world. Don't do that to the poor kid. I believe in this day and age, abortion is a legitimate medical procedure that a couple should have the right to access. Aborting a foetus is not destroying a life; giving birth to an unwanted child is.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
Last edited by -xCaMRocKx- at Jun 27, 2010,
#9
I've decided I don't want it. Full stop.
I asked the pit to create a discussion relevant to me that I could read and take part in. The only questions I asked were what is going to happen.
ᶌῖᶌα ɭα ɌεᶌσɭƲʈιʘϰ
#10
We're the pit, you might want to ask your parents, a doctor, her parents, abortion clinics and other specialists about what to do. I think you two should have a really long talk about this.
#11
abortion.

howvr, if she is really infertile, then this is a miracle kid and you should keep it.

just man up. besides, its your fault.
#12
I wouldn't keep it.
My girlfriend thought she was pregnant for a day and i damn near shat myself.

Anyway was there not something posted here recently that fetuses don't feel pain until they are around 24 weeks old? That they are in a state of unconciousness.

Tell her that, it might ease her a bit.

Goodluck to you anyway. You should suggest that she starts taking the pill, my girlfriend swears by it, no longer has periods and stuff.

EDIT: Also i can just stick it in whenever i want without having to worry about wrapping a fucking baloon around my dick
Last edited by Floods_Solo at Jun 27, 2010,
#13
If you plan on staying with her (marriage proposal?) then I would keep the baby. Things would get too complicated if you both take separate paths through life, not to mention traumatizing for the child. If not, then adoption is always an option, but so is early termination..

You really need to have a talk with her about your situation and where you see yourselves in 10,20 years..
I'm not a Bible-thumper anymore. Realized I had a brain in '09.

I like guitars, running, and math.
#14
Quote by Vauxite
Simple as that. My girlfriend is pregnant.

Have any of you guys been in this situation before? She told me she thought she was infertile, I've been having sex with her for 8 months without any contraception and this is the first time this has happened. She didn't use any contraception for a year with her previous boyfriend and it never happened with him either.

We're going to boom an appointment at the Doctors for Tuesday.
What's going to happen there? Will they do it there and then? Or will they just assess her and then book another appointment to end it all?

I definately don't want to have it, not at 17. She's pretty sure she doesn't want to have it, she just doesn't like the thought of killing her child (which is understandable).

Thanks.


We're going to boom an appointment at the Doctors for Tuesday.
What's going to happen there? Will they do it there and then? Or will they just assess her and then book another appointment to end it all?


We're going to boom an appointment at the Doctors for Tuesday.


boom an appointment


Wat.
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
The grandmother is having a baby with her grandson, so the grandson will be his own fathers father, the baby will be his own grandfather, and grandson, and the grandmother will be the mother, and great grandmother?

Quote by TheBurningFish
ಠ_ಠ
#15
Quote by Vauxite
I've decided I don't want it. Full stop.
I asked the pit to create a discussion relevant to me that I could read and take part in. The only questions I asked were what is going to happen.

Actually, it's not for you to decide. It's her decision, you know. If she wants to keep the child (perhaps the only chance she'll ever have), she has every right to, and you cannot stop her.
#16
Vauxite, strangely enough we're in the same situation. I also found out a couple days ago my girlfriend is pregnant.

Only difference is that I'm 18 and she is 25. Abortion wasn't an option for us, it may not be the ideal time. But we'll do whatever we can to pull it off.

Big tip: If you both come to the point were you two think are ready to have a child. Don't have it. Because you aren't ready, and you'll never will be
#17
Quote by Vauxite
I've decided I don't want it. Full stop.
I asked the pit to create a discussion relevant to me that I could read and take part in. The only questions I asked were what is going to happen.

Wait, shouldn't you consult your girlfriend on this one?

I may have gotten the wrong end of the stick here, but I think it should be more up to her than you.
NO ONE EVER READS MY POSTS.
Last edited by mr freezy at Jun 27, 2010,
#18
Quote by CoreysMonster
Actually, it's not for you to decide. It's her decision, you know. If she wants to keep the child (perhaps the only chance she'll ever have), she has every right to, and you cannot stop her.

Now the debate may begin.

If he has indicated to her that he wants nothing to do with this child and she chooses to carry it full term and raise it anyway does he bear any financial and/or emotional responsibility towards that child?
#19
Well a few days ago I thought I would be in the situation you're in, with my girlfriend being really late, so I was thinking about the things you are, probably because I overreact to things when maybe there wasn't that much to worry about, i.e. a girl can be late for lots of reasons.

But anyway, if you and her really don't want it, then don't have it. There's no need to have a child if neither of you want it, and there's nothing wrong with abortion, especially at this early stage.
#21
I really don't agree with abortions unless the mother and/or baby is in danger of death or something.

Adoption?
#22
Vauxite, is she 17 too? If so, how did she know she was infertile?

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#23
Quote by Antis0cial
Vauxite, strangely enough we're in the same situation. I also found out a couple days ago my girlfriend is pregnant.

Only difference is that I'm 18 and she is 25. Abortion wasn't an option for us, it may not be the ideal time. But we'll do whatever we can to pull it off.

Big tip: If you both come to the point were you two think are ready to have a child. Don't have it. Because you aren't ready, and you'll never will be

that's funny, my dad has told me exactly the same thing, and he had me at 25, too. I also don't believe you'll ever be perfectly ready to have a kid, no matter how old or financially stable you are.
#24
Quote by Jiggzy.UK
Vauxite, is she 17 too? If so, how did she know she was infertile?



She might have some kind of condition or something. It's not inconceivable to know you're infertile without having tried to get pregnant.
#25
Quote by Cheesepuff
its your fault.


Bullshit.

Women are just as responsible for contraception as men. In fact, it's their body; they should be taking the initiative to protect themselves.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
#26
Quote by Vauxite
Simple as that. My girlfriend is pregnant.

Have any of you guys been in this situation before? She told me she thought she was infertile, I've been having sex with her for 8 months without any contraception and this is the first time this has happened. She didn't use any contraception for a year with her previous boyfriend and it never happened with him either.

We're going to boom an appointment at the Doctors for Tuesday.
What's going to happen there? Will they do it there and then? Or will they just assess her and then book another appointment to end it all?

I definately don't want to have it, not at 17. She's pretty sure she doesn't want to have it, she just doesn't like the thought of killing her child (which is understandable).

Thanks.

Fail. NEVER EVER believe this. If I had a fucking penny for every time a guy told me they didn't need contraception because they were 'infertile'... jeez.


Anyway I helped my friend through a similar situation when we were both 17 and you don't need the doctor's appointment. They will just tell you how far along she is. Skip it and go straight for the abortion clinic, they will do the same tests in more detail anyway.

You need 2 appointments at the abortion clinic, one to assess her and one for the procedure. Booking a doctors appointment too is just going to prolong the situation, and the longer you leave it the more traumatic she's going to find it, so get it done as soon as you can.

My friend was cut up that she was just far enough along for a more horrific procedure, because she spent 2 weeks faffing around with the doctors.

Good luck to you, and remember to be there for her, this is going to be terrible for her, but you are doing the right thing
#27
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now the debate may begin.

If he has indicated to her that he wants nothing to do with this child and she chooses to carry it full term and raise it anyway does he bear any financial and/or emotional responsibility towards that child?

His choice not to use a condom, his child, his responsibility.

I feel very strongly about this, and believe that every time you have sex without protection, you should be in full awareness of what can happen, and be ready to bear the consequences.

Then again, it might just be me
It's just my opinion, and what I would do if this ever happened to me.

EDIT: I'm not saying it's his fault, the girl is just as responsible.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Jun 27, 2010,
#28
Quote by Pagan-Pie
She might have some kind of condition or something. It's not inconceivable to know you're infertile without having tried to get pregnant.


I know, i was just curious because a friend of mine had a baby recently, 17 too and to an infertile 17 year old girl.

Wanted to know if it were the same thing going on

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#29
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
Good luck to you, and remember to be there for her, this is going to be terrible for her, but you are doing the right thing

He is?
______________________________________________________________________
Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
#30
Quote by CoreysMonster
His choice not to use a condom.


Invalid. It was her choice not to use the pill or a diaphragm.

EDIT:
Quote by CoreysMonster

EDIT: I'm not saying it's his fault, the girl is just as responsible.


Ah, nevermind.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
#31
Quote by Vauxite
Simple as that. My girlfriend is pregnant.

Have any of you guys been in this situation before? She told me she thought she was infertile, I've been having sex with her for 8 months without any contraception and this is the first time this has happened. She didn't use any contraception for a year with her previous boyfriend and it never happened with him either.



Never take the woman's word for granted you docile young man. And I loled hard at RU Experienced's comment

All hilarity of your stupidity aside, tell both sets of parents first, and listen to anyone else who has some sort of credibility here on UG. Coreysmonster will probably give you good advice, as will SYK.
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#32
Quote by Gyroscope
He is?


He probably is yes, most 17 year old aren't really ready financially or emotionally. Or are willing to give up their partying social lifes just yet
#33
Quote by Gyroscope
He is?

No, he isn't. There is no right or wrong in this, and both choices create very difficult consequences. Abortion is always seen as the "easy way out", but I have a couple of friends who have gone through this, and a few of them wish they hadn't had the abortion.

With abortion, there is no going back, and it will follow you forever, just as having a child will.
#34
Quote by CoreysMonster
His choice not to use a condom, his child, his responsibility.

I feel very strongly about this, and believe that every time you have sex without protection, you should be in full awareness of what can happen, and be ready to bear the consequences.

Then again, it might just be me
It's just my opinion, and what I would do if this ever happened to me.

Oh, so you want to have one of those civil debates that doesn't quickly resort to petty name-calling then?

So be it.

He was under the pretenses that she was infertile, otherwise I'm sure he would have used a condom. Should he have been more skeptical of her claim initially? Maybe, I can't say. They did have unprotected sex for 8 months or so I think he said without conceiving a child, so at that point he was probably certain she was infertile.

Again, if he makes it evident to her that he wants no part in having or raising the child at a time frame early enough where she has the option to either abort the child or organize another way to support the child financially (difficult as it may be for a 17 year old) he shouldn't have any obligation to the child.

Though that raises the issue of whether or not that places the mother in a fair situation since as I said earlier it's damned tough (and expensive) to raise a child alone especially when you're at such a young age with no real income.
#35
My sister is 17 and up the duff for the second time, she lost the last kid. In fact, she's only having this kid so she doesn't have to go to college. So I can't criticise you and your girlfriend.

I think if neither of you want it then abort it. It's not good for a kid to be brought into a world where it's not wanted and its parents are both too young to do anything.

Next time use a condom And don't believe the whole "I'm infertile" thing from anyone ever again
#36
Quote by Will Swanson
Have the baby, then put it up for adoption.

this, 17 year old cannot take care of a child, it will probably be up to the parents to do it so adoption is the best choice if you can't handle anothing kid around
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#37
I said "keep it", but it's not any of our place to decide. none (oor very few) of us can comprehend that choice. PLEASE don't take any of our opinions too seriously.
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#39
Quote by stratkat
Abortion if you don't want.

Don't care about anyones opinions or arguments.

This is possibly the most worthless contribution I've ever seen. It's like walking up to someone and saying "have a glass of water if you're thirsty."