#1
Hey everyone, I've recently got into writing and singing and playing alot more acoustic aside from my deathcore band and stuff like that, and I'm still working on becoming a decent lyricist, but I was wondering what you thought of these.

The words you left branded deep into my bones
Show nothing of what you said to my face
I can promise you this, I can promise you everything
But the act is up, you hide behind disgrace
It will come back to you, some very dark day.
Oh please, don't ruin your reputation

This time, the signs aren't showing very well
It seems that you know what you want
I cant tell you different, I do want it to
But the horrors are something I just wont go through

To yell and plead and beg and cry
It does nothing, Oh it does nothing

The water drips down my face
and as I stare back at myself
I can feel the weight you left upon me
It's always upon me

Stories of what was once had
the delicacy of how we knew
Never to think it would as bad
As what you went through

To yell and plead and beg and cry
It does nothing, Oh it does nothing

Stampmarks placed on everything you touched
It reminds me, reminds me
The letters I've had dissolved and all
The very last I've ever see


As I said, I'm still a beginner, and I have a tune to it too, so I might post that up with me singing and playing along. So if you have an suggestions or maybe something that can help me out, let me know.
Poop.


Yes, poop.
Last edited by MattAnderson111 at Jun 27, 2010,
#2
shouldnt it be either "how time has changed" or "how times have changed"?
#4
i really like this.

record it soon and i will be able to give you more of a critique. this is great.

seriously. i enjoyed this alot.

8/10. high marks, bro.
#5
Interesting point: I can see the deathcore influence in the lyrics... heh...
Yamaha ERG 121
Yamaha F370TBS
Yamaha GA-10

NOOB KIT FTW

-------------------------

Lyrical Insanity:

Chasing Shadows
#6
For some reason I imagine this being in the same general style of some of Alice in Chains' acoustic songs. I really like the chorus "To yell and plead and beg and cry, it does nothing, oh it does nothing", you did a really good job of making it sound good without it rhyming imo, that's usually very difficult for people (I have much difficulty doing that myself).
"Love everything. Know nothing."

"What do you mean 'do you even know how to play bongo drums?'?! Do I not have hands?! And pot?!"