#1
Just say you were going die and could make some final requests for your deathbed and after you're gone. What would they be? I'm not talking about serious things so much, but some amusing things you could do, just to help people remember you...

Some things I would like are;

-My headstone shaped like a giant phallus. Just to be unique in the cemetary.

-At my funeral as I am getting burried I would love for some profanity-laden rap music to be played (eg. NWA, Dr. Dre).

-I would like all my assets to be sold and all the money go towards erecting a statue in my honour at my school. This would also be me standing proudly, leaning against another enormous phallus.
#2
Freud is sh*ttin' his grave.

I want my ashes to be mixed with cocaine, then sold as such.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
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#5
I think the dick statues are an awesome idea. I'd definitely get a dickheadstone (geddit? lololol.) And instead of something sad or something meaningful for the music I'd get something cheery like Mika or the Beach Boys. And finally, rather than being buried, I'd request my body to be used somehow to picket the WBC.
#6
I want my relatives to have to watch me getting slowly smashed into a pulp by a man with a hammer. I want to be remembered, psychological trauma seems a pretty reliable method.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Jun 28, 2010,
#7
I would like my body to be donated to the "BODIES" science exhibit.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
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#8
I want highway to hell played at my funeral, and I want to be buried with heaps of guitars, maybe some hookers as well
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#9
Quote by Fiddly Diddly69
I want highway to hell played at my funeral, and I want to be buried with heaps of guitars, maybe some hookers as well


I'm sure the hookers would be all for getting burried with you...
#10
All of my assets are sold, the money goes behind the bar, and everyone throws the biggest part you've ever seen in your life in my honour.

EDIT-Biggest party, not biggest part. Damn Freud...
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Last edited by Neopowell the PUSO at Jun 28, 2010,
#11
I have it planned out on a basis of how much money I have.

Most expensive: Get my corpse sent to Mars, secretly. When NASA find it the world will shit itself, hopefully.

Less expensive: tell people that they will receive 1% of my wealth per pound they eat of me. I will have to have a lot of money for people to do this unfortunately.

Least expensive: bury myself in a chest with fake gold, mark the spot with a giant red X. Create treasure maps and dot them around the world in various historic sites and as many private schools as possible.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
#13
I request that after I have passed on that my cadaver be left in the sun until it is bloated and full of gas. After which which it is loaded into a big top circus cannon and fired at a freshy painted, white wall.....
[
#14
"I'll make you party at my funeral
'Cause mourning is for suckers.
I'll rent a ferris wheel and
cotton candy machine and have an open bar
with all the Pabst that you can drink
the PA blasting my Clash records.
You'll finally know that life's okay
Even when bad things happen."


Something like that.


But seriously, I don't want a lot of money spent on my funeral. It's stupid, I'm dead, just chuck my body in a hole and cover it up. Don't burden yourselves with thousands of dollars in funeral costs.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

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Last edited by dudetheman at Jun 28, 2010,
#15
Being serious for a second guys...

Death is a business. It's just an unscheduled Hallmark holiday, and the entire industry is geared towards taking advantage of emotionally weakened family and friends, and when in that state, spending ludicrous amounts of money on a funeral seems like a pretty good idea.

When my grandfather died a year ago I went with my family to arrange the funeral. Aside from his brother, I was probably the closest person to him and I just couldnt help but get angry at how easily my family was falling for the funeral home's crap. Unsanded, shoddy-built pine boxes sat in a dusty poor lit corner of the coffin display rooms whilst $18 000 caskets sat atop pedestals well lit from all sides.

I looked inside the freakin' awesome ebony casket with gold plated handles, and found a good six inches of padding lining the entire inside. As my family all cry-smiled around it, saying "that's what he would have wanted," with the funeral home worker giving a consoling nod, I stood back and thought, "This is going in the ground. Grandpa was a practical guy. In fact, he would probably be pissed if we wasted such good timber." I wandered past the $350 dollar bouquets and burial suits to my family, and just as I was about to say something, the funeral lady gave me a look and I new she had won. I had to keep quiet.

Because who can speak up against emotionally crippled, grieving family members? I cant explain that Grandpa is dead and he really, really doesnt [or cannot] care about what happens at this point. The funeral home helped my family paint a retrospective picture of a man completely alien to what my grandfather was really like, and they screwed up his memory in order empty our bank accounts. I was angry, but I found my need to hold back overpowered my cold rationality.

So before I die, I am making it very clear that I am to have some low-key, inexpensive funeral and insist that the money saved goes towards something practical, or a big party for me. It's life that counts, and the entire business of death has truly messed that up.


Now having said all that, here's what I really want to happen. Back in ye olde days, when "living rooms" were called parlours, they kept the coffin inside the house for a few days to allow for grievances and whatnot. I plan to live somewhere cold, and have a fireplace. I want to be buried in one of them newfangled vacuum-sealed coffins and placed next to the fire. Then, after a few days, when all of my family are gathered round to mourn my passing, the internal pressure owing to my decomposition, proximity to the fire, and the seal of the coffin will reach geometric proportions, and my casket will explode, forever ingraining my family with shards of me and eternally implanting my scent into their noses.
...In my opinion.