#1
Basically the first lyric I've written, and it's still unfinished. It's meant for an indie/britpop kinda song.
From my view, it could use a lot of improvement, but since I don't have a lot of experience with writing lyrics, I'd like to know where to start and how to improve this.
The rhyming is sometimes quite forced, but I feel like the lyrics had to rhyme because of the flow of the song.
Not really confident about my writing, so any tips are very welcome .

Edit: It's basically about a girl that is loved by every guy who sees her but she's just way too arrogant to care or even notice it.


Class Doll

City fog and neon lights paint your town
Radiant and familiar are these streets
Yet you walk there with a skeptic frown
Listening to worn out dancing beats

You roam the alleys with flair
While everyone else is asleep
Stepping about the cold night air
And see those boys quietly weep

‘Cuz you’re the angel in their sky

Class is your keyword
Beauty is your all
And never will they fly to you (2x)

Your presence in their minds
Takes them to unknown places
Yet you shut your beautiful blinds
So you won’t ever see their faces

High up in your tower
You’re dancing in the city lights
While the clock approaches midnight hour
You enjoy the flawless sights

‘Cuz you’re the angel in their sky

Class is your keyword
Beauty is your all
And never will they fly to you (2x)
Last edited by TheVice at Jun 28, 2010,