#1
I don't really know what to call it, but i don't really care. It's one i started in May, called Through Closed Eyes, and I would like to get some feedback on it. I think i did well on the harmonies, but some of the rhythms may not fit. Any feedback would be very appreciated.
SOUNDS BEST IN MIDI
Attachments:
51410.gp5
Machine F**king Head \m/
#2
The intro sounds amazing, almost epic. I was kinda disappointed with the verse riff until it was harmonized. It really shines with the harmonies. The chugging was a bit generic, but that's what I expect from this kind of Metalcore. The break led into harmony 1 very nicely. Everything is going smooth through the solo, I especially like the solo. Then, you get to bar 108 and you jump from the 1st fret to 10th (that just seems a bit weird and a big slide/stretch). I could listen to the "Lead Solo"/Riff at bar 109 all day (it's that good). Good job on using the lead guitar riff from the chorus as an outro on piano. Although this kind of Metalcore isn't one of my favorite genres, you did it well with the solos and minimal chugging.

C4C?
Last edited by StringAssassin at Jun 30, 2010,
#3
Absolutely agree with string.. This is a beautiful intro.. But as i call it.. you pulled a marianas trench.. made a beautiful intro and then the first verse failed (In comparison.) Great metal core i mean. a tad boring bc the lack of rhythm giving any emphasis on the lead during the verse.

Chorus was neat. Some decent chords. Post chorus verse didnt flow too well from it.
Break was okay you could do a lot more with it.

Harmony 1 I really enjoyed flowed into the solo decently.
the solo was pretty great. it needs a fast paced run and a climaxing note to occur once. (I believe that rule is pretty basic music theory)
I love when all parts stop except that one part in your solo.

the final chorus was good.

The outro needs the use the same style progression as in the begining of the song. my ears craved for that too come back but it never did ]:....
It was a near perfect chord progression in that intro bring it back somewhere dude.
Perhaps make it minor and use it for the outro and have it resolve accordingly

Overall nice song pretty generic at parts but absolutely swell at others. 7/10

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1332115
#4
It's pretty good for a metalcore song, solid work.
What I find lacking though is a "proper" solo, the one you have feels more like extended harmonisation
#5
Quote by UneasyHearts

The outro needs the use the same style progression as in the begining of the song. my ears craved for that too come back but it never did ]:....
It was a near perfect chord progression in that intro bring it back somewhere dude.

The chord progression in the intro is the same progression in the chorus and in the "lead solo" section, so he used it a few times actually. I don't think it'd be good to use it for the outro since it would lose some "umph" if he used it even more. Unless maybe he made it arpeggios, those might work.

However, I will admit that the intro/chorus were by far my favorite parts. Simple but melodic. Everything in between either didn't flow well to me, or lacked melody where the rest of the song had it.

-I did enjoy the Break section. No complaints there.

-The "Harmony" section sounded clustered and a tad messy, mainly due to the rhythm behind it not working that well.

-The solo, while not bad, just didn't sound like a solo. I feel the solo should be what the Harmony section is and get rid of the original Harmony section all together since it's simply the chorus lead with a different(worse) rhythm.

-The "Lead Solo" section wasn't bad, but again it wasn't much of a solo since it was only the chorus with a different lead. It's not a bad section, just a little redundant.

-The outro was a bit weak, the slow down effect CAN be great but you didn't do much with it.

A lot of this song is "recycled" riffs with small variations that either make it sound occasionally out of place, or not as strong as their counterparts. And yeah, it's a little generic but it's metalcore, so those two words are practically synonymous(this is coming from who's favorite genre is metalcore). It's definitely not a bad song though.

Hope this helped
This choice is passion, this path is tension.
#6
I liked it; the part starting at bar 18 was a bit bland, but that's where I imagined the vocals coming in; if so, it's understandable.

You did a pretty good job of writing a good song without bass too; however, I tried adding just a simple one in, following the root notes, and it added a lot. I've included it below, just to show you want I mean.

In the future, it might help to label the verses, to show when the lyrics come in.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1332296
Attachments:
51410.gp5
Last edited by herby190 at Jun 30, 2010,
#7
Thanks for the bass, it really added to the song.
Machine F**king Head \m/
#9
here is a few changes I made, it's easier to do this than to explain, all in all it's a solid metalcore piece, it may be a bit slow to build up to the chorus, and the transition at bar 26 i think is kinda rough, but good work
Attachments:
51410 edits.gp5
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#10
^ I like what you did with that but at bar 22 and bar 24 I'd make guitar Lead start with:

---
---
---
---
-1-
-1-

instead of

---
---
---
---
-0-
-0-

It just works with the piano better. Anyway good song I like the chorus and the heavy riffage. Can't wait to hear your next song!
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