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#1
Hey there, Pit.

Let's just post the things that despite them being blatantly obvious we had to learn the hard way, so maybe others won't have to.
It doesn't need to be big important things. In fact, I'm more interested in the painfully stupid stuff you did.

I'll start:

Six cans of Red Bull for breakfast won't make you more productive. They'll make you twitch.

Don't try to cook raw meat in the microwave.

Don't put dry pastry in the microwave, either - unless you like smoke and fire.

That stuff in lava lamps? Tastes like shit.

You can only slap your friends' asses so many times before you lose ass-slapping privileges.


Your turn, Pit.
#2
Always look where you're running. Sometimes planks stick out in eye level.
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#3
don't walk around bare footed in the dark..those f*****g chairs and doors and tables f*****g HURT your pinky!!!!

lesson learnt at 7-8 years old: don't hide in the bathroom and try to transform into a supersayan!!..the evidence in you pants is hard to clean up afterwards.
#4
Never try and make your farts last that second longer. It all goes to shít


PSN ID: ArranP
#5
The little toe is one fragile motherfuc*er.
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#6
Wrap it before you tap it.
Quote by Tone Deaf
Someone has had too much jager in their slushy. :/
Quote by CL/\SH
First person on UG to be a grammar nazi and use the correct form of "your" in the correct context.

+ 70 virgins to you, my good sir.

Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Girls DO fap...I don't though.
#7
It's generally a bad idea to start the habit of watching a TV series over breakfast. You will be chronically late for work.
#9
dont eat insulation, its not cotten candy.

dont date a foriegn exchange student, they leave

if you decide to run cross country in college, dont quit track your senior year of high school
Gibson RawPower SG 2009 (Zales)
Gibson Hummingbird 70's? (Amy)
Jet City JCA 20 Watt Combo
Dunlop Crybaby wah
MXR 10 Band EQ
Ibanez TS-9
#10
That thing you found in the pantry that looks like a Chewit is probably detrimental to your health, and it definitely isn't a Chewit.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#11
Quote by YetAnotherMuso
It's generally a bad idea to start the habit of watching a TV series over breakfast. You will be chronically late for work.

Agreed, missed so many lectures last semester with that one.

When you're given optional work to do at uni, do it.
Quote by XxLloydxX
How young would you consider no-pedo attempt
#12
Never drink any amount of energy drinks without eating beforehand.

I've done it countless times, and yet I still haven't learned my lesson.
maybe if you had a
revolver
you'd
suck less

press
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B Areceive bacon

Gamertag: Seanslaught
PSN: BeastlyBassist
Steam: Beastly396
Last edited by BeastlyBassist at Jun 30, 2010,
#13
Don't say anything bad about anyone else - they will find out.

Organisation is key to all trips and concerts.

When you have to go for a piss, YOU HAVE TO GO FOR A PISS.
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#15
When you're young, don't trust what your older brother or sister says. It's always some scheme to get you to do something to make them laugh or get you in trouble.

Don't make a prank call without blocking the caller I.D.

No matter how much butt cheek clenching you do, if you have to poop, you will poop.
MY GEAR:
PRS SE Custom 24
Jackson DKA7
Gibson Explorer
MESA/Boogie Express 5:25
BOSS GT-100

BOSS TU-2
Dunlop Cry Baby Classic
BOSS NS-2
VOX Joe Satriani Ice 9 OD Pedal
VOX Joe Satriani Time Machine Delay Pedal
Ernie Ball Strings
V Picks
Last edited by Koshman32 at Jun 30, 2010,
#16
2 bottles of Nos and six cans of Mountain Dew equals losing your ability to play the drums in 4/4 (13/8 is fine though), and then blacking out and waking up on the bathroom floor, with and hour or two to go before you start to regain your memory, and then the next day finding pictures of yourself giving lap dances while dressed in a scarlet tutu with your hair up in side ponytails. This did however teach me the secret to having raging parties legally when you're underage.
#17
If you sleep sitting on an office chair, prepare to wake up with the floor approaching your face in a terribly fast manner.


Quote by Kensai
Always look where you're running. Sometimes planks stick out in eye level.

This also goes for street signs. Especially big yellow ones which are impossible to overlook. They have the tendency to render you unconscious.
Last edited by TheQuailman at Jun 30, 2010,
#18
Quote by FrauVfromPoB
2 bottles of Nos and six cans of Mountain Dew equals losing your ability to play the drums in 4/4 (13/8 is fine though), and then blacking out and waking up on the bathroom floor, with and hour or two to go before you start to regain your memory, and then the next day finding pictures of yourself giving lap dances while dressed in a scarlet tutu with your hair up in side ponytails. This did however teach me the secret to having raging parties legally when you're underage.



you must not be very caffeine tolerant, nothing even close to that has happened to me with that much caffeine
#19
Quote by TheQuailman
If you sleep sitting on an office chair, prepare to wake up with the floor approaching your face in a terribly fast manner.



This also goes for street signs. Especially big yellow ones which are impossible to overlook. They have the tendency to render you unconscious.


Superb wording.
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#20
Don't date coworkers, you can't avoid them afterwards...it just turns weird.
"Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!"

"And there's Jimmy Page, the biggest thief of American Blues music"
#21
always always always ALWAYS have something to eat before embarking on a mammoth drinking session. Always.

Also learn to spell learnt

can open, worms everywhere!
#22
Quote by K Dizzle

you must not be very caffeine tolerant, nothing even close to that has happened to me with that much caffeine

I think he means Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas)
"Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!"

"And there's Jimmy Page, the biggest thief of American Blues music"
#23
Don't smoke a joint before playing principle first violin with a string orchestra.

Don't put your finger in a stapler, just to see what it feels like.

Don't empty a vacuum cleaner bag from a student flat with your bare hands.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#24
Don't fall asleep on the schoolbus.

Learn to discipline yourself and be organised. Take the time to do your work and to study for your exams. Don't leave everything until the last minute.

Stay focussed when you practice guitar. Don't just mess around while staring out the window. Use a metronome and try to make every note perfect.
#25
'Naked Wednesday' is only really a good idea if you don't still live with your parents.

When the woman from the bank asks about your marital status, make sure you understand it's for tax purposes, or else you may end up on sexual harrassment charges.

If you get caught speeding, don't drive faster in the hopes you'll travel so fast the police wont be able to see you anymore, you'll just get in more trouble.
#26
When a client (male) asks you out, it's not always for buisness.
Never renegociate your mortgage after a night of drinking.
Sewing can be good, except if your fingers are involved in the process.
Coffee = Good. Dish soap = Bad. Coffee + Dish soap = utterly disgusting
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#27
If you're on the bus and it starts taking an odd route, and you begin getting suspicious you're on the wrong bus, get off sooner rather than later. You can always catch the next one if it's the right one, rather than hoping your stop appears eventually then ending up an hour away from where you're supposed to be on the day of an exam.

Don't hold a lighter threateningly under your little brother's teddy bear to shut him up, no matter how angry you are. You will get in shit for it.

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.



Steam: | PSN: Zeroxxed | Twitter:
Last edited by Kilobyte at Jun 30, 2010,
#28
Don't bang chicks with boyfriends
Quote by lufkin
Broom guitar.
The necks so long that theres like 100 frets.
If you wear womens clothes while broom-guitaring its incredible.


Quote by Argonaut
If you don't like bacon then you are either a veggie or some kind of wierd mutant freak.
#29
Quote by theseedyoldguy
Don't bang chicks with boyfriends


Doesn't apply if you can kick said boyfriend's ass.
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#30
Quote by JeanMi36
Doesn't apply if you can kick said boyfriend's ass.



Okay maybe change that to, don't bang chicks with boyfriends who have a bunch of lad (Aussie equivalent of chav) mates who will attempt to stab you.
Quote by lufkin
Broom guitar.
The necks so long that theres like 100 frets.
If you wear womens clothes while broom-guitaring its incredible.


Quote by Argonaut
If you don't like bacon then you are either a veggie or some kind of wierd mutant freak.
#31
The url for the official website for those sporting goods stores called "Dick's" is not what you'd immediately think it is.
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
Last edited by lushacrous at Jun 30, 2010,
#32
Quote by theseedyoldguy
Okay maybe change that to, don't bang chicks with boyfriends who have a bunch of lad (Aussie equivalent of chav) mates who will attempt to stab you.


And the point goes to you! :p
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#33
Quote by JeanMi36
Doesn't apply if you can kick said boyfriend's ass.
Only if you're a colossal douchebag.

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.



Steam: | PSN: Zeroxxed | Twitter:
#34
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
always always always ALWAYS have something to eat before embarking on a mammoth drinking session. Always.

Also learn to spell learnt

can open, worms everywhere!

NO.
#35
Quote by theseedyoldguy
Okay maybe change that to, don't bang chicks with boyfriends who have a bunch of lad (Aussie equivalent of chav) mates who will attempt to stab you.

Which happens to be 80% of hot chicks

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#36
Milk before a high school football camp is a bad idea.
Clapton is god, accept it.
#39
Dirty pints maybe the quickest way to get drunk, but fast track an hour, and you'll be choking on your own vomit...
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#40
If you're gunna go down, make sure you go down in flames. Do it properly or don't do it at all.

If it seems like a good idea at the time, it's probably not. Do it anyway.

When you're drunk, don't keep your phone. Give it to a friend so you don't spill your heart through it to the person you're secretly head over heels for.
Last edited by leg end at Jun 30, 2010,
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