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#1
This batters Fml, Thathigh and the like.


http://truelad.com/index.php


"I often I.D women at work, even if i know they are old enough to drink, just to find their name so i can have a ganders on facebook when i get home. LAD"

"I use the NHS drinks tracker iPhone app to keep track of my personal best. Alwaysroomforimprovement LAD"
Quote by ZanasCross
I'm now so drunk that even if my mom had given me a blow job at aeg 2, i'd be like I'm a pmp, butches.!

If this even madkes sense... if yhou sig this, Iw ll kill you.
#6
It was 3am, just out a club with a random -after buying me drinks all night, he took me for a £40 chinese meal (Mick Hucknall lookalike date LAD), took him and his friends back to my flat, then shagged his mate. DON'T DO SIMPLY RED, JUST BEEF SATAY LADette.


I once made my girlfriend suck me off while I was making a cheese sandwich. It then turned into a game, if she could make me blow my beans before I finished making it then she would get to eat it. I finished making it with ease then blasted her in the face and carried on with my mid afternoon snack ... LUNCH-LAD

That is the best thing I have ever read
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
Last edited by TheBurningFish at Jul 1, 2010,
#7
At my 21st birthday party I made a speech... 'I'd like to thank my Mum for having me and my Dad for coming' LAD


#8
Quote by SG_dave at #33549256
I've never wanted to see a guy eat dick so much in my life.
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33553650
If you are white, you are scum.
#9
"Completed my World Cup sticker album today after doing swaps with a kid in my brothers class... he's 8... I'm 22. Panni-Never-Grow-Up-LAD"

The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#11
"Today, Me and my bro were laying in a bed, not gay at all of course, and he made a funny joke. I put my fist out and he fist bumped it perfectly. It was dark and he had no idea I put my fist out. It was chill."

If that's true then it's the most epic...and hot thing I've ever read.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#12
On holiday, (5 Lads) we meet 5 girls in a club, we all pull 1 girl each, my 1 mate pulls a (3/10) Heavy unit for the team. We all take them back to our hotel and he nails her, he sits on a plastic chair naked and she sits on top to ride him the chair snaps and everyone looks outside to see him and this bird lying naked on the balcony! He smiles and carries on! TeamPlayerLad


#13
Quote by SeveralSpecies
At my 21st birthday party I made a speech... 'I'd like to thank my Mum for having me and my Dad for coming' LAD





I phuckin love that site haha
Quote by SG_dave at #33549256
I've never wanted to see a guy eat dick so much in my life.
Quote by ali.guitarkid7 at #33553650
If you are white, you are scum.
#15
night out with LADS , the bird my mate had a fling with during freshers was out and she was a bit obsessed with him and he said he wanted nothing to do with her, got them both drunk and stole her phone, text my mate off it telling him 'meet me at your place in 20min, make sure your naked because i want to take it in the fudge ally' 10min later my mate disappeared to 'get some air'. we left the club and ran into his house to find him butt naked. Prank LADS

That is fantastic.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#16
"Typed in 5318008 on a calculator and turned it upside down. LAD"
Quote by ZanasCross
I'm now so drunk that even if my mom had given me a blow job at aeg 2, i'd be like I'm a pmp, butches.!

If this even madkes sense... if yhou sig this, Iw ll kill you.
#17
"worked as an exam invigilator to gain beer money (LAD). during my (now) final day I let GCSE history know their time was up by giving a huge blow on my vuvuzela. SackedLAD"


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
#18
Told a kid that wanking is when you stick your fingers in your bum, few days later he comes back and tells us that he finds wanking good. Disgusting LAD



The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#19
worked as an exam invigilator to gain beer money (LAD). during my (now) final day I let GCSE history know their time was up by giving a huge blow on my vuvuzela. SackedLAD

EDIT:
Up The Boro!
Last edited by Oddsbodkins at Jul 1, 2010,
#20
Quote by Oddsbodkins
worked as an exam invigilator to gain beer money (LAD). during my (now) final day I let GCSE history know their time was up by giving a huge blow on my vuvuzela. SackedLAD


That one made me

'Was in the pub on saturday night and accidentally knocked some other chap's drink over. Being a gent, I offered to replace it. Went to the bar and he told me it was white wine. I walked off in disgust. Toomuchmetrosexualityaround-LAD'

#22
A mate, on 99 birds shagged, takes back a girl he'd been for drinks with. We (his housemates) all hide behind furniture in the living room when he came back. He starts his foreplay and asks her if she'd mind if he wore cricket gloves whilst they had sex, since it was a bit of a fetish thing for him. She looked confused but said fine, he goes into bag and puts them on. Then asks if he can wear pads, then finally a helmet. Fully padded up, proceeds to enter her and after about 3 minutes (LAD) comes, flicks on the main light switch. We all pop up from behind the sofa with rousing applause and cries of 'THATS THE CENTURY!!', he grabs his cricket bat, removes his helmet and acknowledges the crowd. She bursts into tears, dresses quickly and runs out of the front door. She left her pants. LAD

LADs holiday in Amsterdam. One of my mates vows that no matter how much money he has on the last day, he'll spend it on prostitutes. Turns out on the last day he has enough for 3 so he pays for them. Goes back to the hotel room and has one sat on his dick, the other on his face and then has no idea what to do with the third. So has her jumping up and down on the other bed cheering his name and clapping. MotivatedLAD

Genius.
Was on the train to London for the game at the weekend, and it was absolutely boiling. A man of about 70 gets on the train in standard old boy attire. Old knitted jumper, ancient cinos and brown shoes. About ten minutes later he gets too hot and takes of his jumper to reveal a Mr Men T-shirt. YoungatheartLAD.

All together now - awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Last edited by blue_strat at Jul 1, 2010,
#23
Quote by blue_strat



OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING HAHAHAHAHA!


Omg that was pure gold!!!!
#24
Was in the car today with my grandad, looking out the window checking out the clunge my grandad turns around a shouts 'crumpets galore!' to which i reply what, he then says 'look at all the semi-dressed young girls...i love window shopping!' grandadLAD.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#25
Quote by SeveralSpecies
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING HAHAHAHAHA!


Omg that was pure gold!!!!

I'm having to bite my fist so I don't have to explain what I'm laughing at to my mum and sister
In the last election one of the BNP campaigners (who is well known for being a racist) was saying how he was against mixed race relationships. However, he was unaware that my black friend was shagging his daughter (6/10-sorry mate just being honest); in fact they were **** buddies. Last month the BNP campaigner sees my mate and approaches our table in the pub and starts shouting racists things at him and asks him “how did you get into my daughters head?“ and “why the **** are you with her?”. His response was textbook brilliance- “for starters I was not in your daughter’s head, I was inside her vagina and to be honest I am just shagging her for the banter”. LAD

OH GOD

I'll try and stop posting now.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
Last edited by TheBurningFish at Jul 1, 2010,
#26
Quote by TheBurningFish
I'm having to bite my fist so I don't have to explain what I'm laughing at to my mum and sister






Honestly one of the greatest stories I've ever heard in my life. I wouldn't be able to hold my laughter in if I was behind the couch. Props to those lads


edit: @ campaigners daughter

*site bookmarked* I'm never closing that tab EVER!
#27
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car. CLOSE SHAVE LAD.

Beautiful.
#28
Quote by garfgarfgarf
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car. CLOSE SHAVE LAD.

Beautiful.





I'm leaving now before I die of laughter-induced suffocation.
#29
Well it was my girlfriends birthday and she was expecting me to propose to her . So we went out for a nice meal and afterwards i said i has a surprise waiting at home. So she sits there at home waiting and i head in with a cabbage and give it to her. She looks bewildered at first and then suddenly has the idea there's a diamond ring in it so rips it apart. Naturally it was just a cabbage. We broke up that night. LAD

I could be here a while.
#31
"I once got with an American girl. Things were going swimmingly until she told me she had been raped. I was already at her house by this time and didn't want to leave. I told her 'sometimes you have to confront your fear by confronting the thing that causes the fear'. I left the next morning. LAD"


I have to stop. Seriously this is too much
#33
Went out with the LADS about a month back. After spending about 15mins in a club i get pulled by a standard 6/10. Having endured a depressive draught i submissively oblige. Got a cab back to hers, didn't pay a single penny of the £20 fare. Small talk is non-existent so we just get down to it and i ruin her. Afterwards she's trying to convince me to stay the night to discuss when we want to see each other next. Secretly wait till she falls asleep, bang my clothes back on and drop what can only be described as a horrendous piece of faeces in her toilet before bailing from her house giggling like a little school girl all the way home. Seizing-the-opportunity-LAD

My name is Danny. Call me that.
#35
I once got with an American girl. Things were going swimmingly until she told me she had been raped. I was already at her house by this time and didn't want to leave. I told her 'sometimes you have to confront your fear by confronting the thing that causes the fear'. I left the next morning. LAD




I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#36
...Yeah, this site isn't funny.
Is it still a God Complex if I really am God?

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde
#37
Quote by Meths
...Yeah, this site isn't funny.

Opinion I guess, I'm finding it hilarious.
My name is Danny. Call me that.
#39
Quote by Alexishxc1337
British version of this?:

http://mylifeisbro.com/


Today, Me and my bro were laying in a bed, not gay at all of course, and he made a funny joke. I put my fist out and he fist bumped it perfectly. It was dark and he had no idea I put my fist out. It was chill.


Quote by Demonikk
'Practice amp' = amp you practice with? In my case, Peavey 6505+ and 4x12
I don't do things small


Except children.
#40
I was swimming in the Amazon when a piranha bit my ****. It chipped its tooth. LAD.

I'm so fed up with chasing girls and jumping through all the hoops that I promised myself I'd be more direct. I gave a girl I know at college a folded bit of paper which said '**** ME?' with a tick box next to the words 'yes' and 'yes'. LAD

Feminism was invented by men cos it was getting too easy. LAD

I put on such a good show the other night I joined in with the girl yelling my own name. LAD
Last edited by captaincrunk at Jul 1, 2010,
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