#1
Hello. This is literally, just a bunch of riffs that I have come up with in the past day or so, and I am not sure on what's good and what's not.

All the riffs are labeled on track 1 [Riff A - Q] and if you take the time to tell me which are good, and which aren't, I will gladly C4C your full song.

Thank you.
Attachments:
WIP.gp5
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
Last edited by DragTheWaters11 at Jul 3, 2010,
#3
Quote by zezikaro
Not that I doubt your playing ability, but I doubt you can play this...

*facepalm*

You're right! I definitely didn't write these on my guitar and put them into guitar pro.

*claps*
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#4
Some of the more death metal parts sound good but the technical parts need some work. It seems like the 13/16 is unnecessary, to me at least, it's just so jarring that it sounds out of place and not in a good way. 12/16 might work a bit better at those parts.

Mainly you just need to develop some of the better sections a bit more, and work on the rhythms and giving it some variety.
#5
Ok, I'll try
Riff A is just badly written. Why did you put triolets? Just put eight note! (and make a tempo change of course)
Riff B : why a 13/16 ? Here stay in 4/4. And please don't put 4 bars after it. One is sufficient. And the drums is out of place.
Riff C: that's a riff you could do something with.
Riff D: ok, simple but it works.
Riff E: forget this one. There are so many change that it doesn't create any groove.
Riff F: it's just chords. You need more (drums for example) to know if it sounds great.
Riff G: here it doesn't sound good.
Riff H: a bit slow but maybe you can keep it aside.
Riff I : 4 simple chords and a bad lead. Sorry .
Riff J: metalcore riff like that sounds good nearlyeverytime. So ok.
Riff K: has no groove -> bad.
Riff L: bar.117-124: here you can hear that drums could transform a "empty" riff (riff I) into a fun theme. But the second part is useless.
Riff M: Good one!
Riff N: why triolets? use eight notes! And impossible to crit without a following riff!
Riff O: not bad but this kind of riff is really hard to make something with. I did compose some like that but I don't know what to do with...
Riff P: don't like it because of the note-choice.

Mainly, you have to understand three things :
- Always put drums with a guitar riff, it will sound better.
- You haven't yet learn't what make the groove of a riff. Listen carefully your favorite band and draw your inspiration of it.
- These are your first riffs, no? Try to go further than you write this time. Practice is your guide.

It's a bit harsh but I'll try my best to help you.
Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24605585#post24605585
#6
I dont get why your saying he cant play this because these are pretty damn easy riffs to play save a few riffs
Rattle Your Goddamn Head!
#8
Quote by grooaarrhh
Ok, I'll try
Riff A is just badly written. Why did you put triolets? Just put eight note! (and make a tempo change of course)
Riff B : why a 13/16 ? Here stay in 4/4. And please don't put 4 bars after it. One is sufficient. And the drums is out of place.
Riff C: that's a riff you could do something with.
Riff D: ok, simple but it works.
Riff E: forget this one. There are so many change that it doesn't create any groove.
Riff F: it's just chords. You need more (drums for example) to know if it sounds great.
Riff G: here it doesn't sound good.
Riff H: a bit slow but maybe you can keep it aside.
Riff I : 4 simple chords and a bad lead. Sorry .
Riff J: metalcore riff like that sounds good nearlyeverytime. So ok.
Riff K: has no groove -> bad.
Riff L: bar.117-124: here you can hear that drums could transform a "empty" riff (riff I) into a fun theme. But the second part is useless.
Riff M: Good one!
Riff N: why triolets? use eight notes! And impossible to crit without a following riff!
Riff O: not bad but this kind of riff is really hard to make something with. I did compose some like that but I don't know what to do with...
Riff P: don't like it because of the note-choice.

Mainly, you have to understand three things :
- Always put drums with a guitar riff, it will sound better.
- You haven't yet learn't what make the groove of a riff. Listen carefully your favorite band and draw your inspiration of it.
- These are your first riffs, no? Try to go further than you write this time. Practice is your guide.

It's a bit harsh but I'll try my best to help you.
Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24605585#post24605585

Riff A is not badly written. It serves as an intro and it proves a SUFFICIENT intro that sets up a quick pace for the song.

Riff B, the 13/16 is there because it precisely sets up the mood for the song. It's not too long, and it simply needs the four bars after it because if you have it without the four bars, it sounds like absolute shit.

Riff C, yes, I know. It sets up the song and goes with perfect conjunction with Riff B.

Riff D. Yeah, I know it is simple. But it does need the bass and drums to make it, the new genre, of Technical Groove Metal.

Riff E. Sure, it doesn't include any groove. But trust me, as one of the pioneers of Technical Groove Metal, it sounds good with vocals, and bass (especially bass), and drums. Especially since the bass and drums make Technical Groove Metal, well, Technical Groove Metal.

Riff F. Yes, it's chords. I know. It has no drums, I know that too (I didn't finish the drums). But it's effective with everything else. Sorry I didn't put everything in.

Riff G. I don't see the problem with it. It has the perfect, and essential "groove" of the genre.

Riff H. Because it's slow, doesn't mean a damn thing. Other songs in this genre often have those parts. However, it makes for a damn good chorus, and it's pretty catchy. But thank you.

Riff I. Never really liked this either. TY.

Riff J. It's not metalcore. But alright.

Riff K. Not the best riff in this genre. Agreed.

Riff L. I don't understand what you're saying. But actually, the second part creates a decent buildup. Thanks tho.

Riff M. Coolness.

Riff N. Wtf is wrong with triplets. Every other song I written in this genre has triplets... it's effective, simple, and it makes one instrument faster than the others. Creating the false feeling of frantic.

Riff O. It would probably serve as a pre-chorus in this genre. Song's in this genre typically have a buildup (riff O) that leads to the chorus.

Riff P. Don't understand, but okay. It suits as a good song outro, simply instrumental.

But thank you. I will crit yours tomorrow when I am not drunk!

Btw, no, this is by far not the first song I have written. I have written about... ehh... 30 songs maybe? and I only put 7 in tablature for this site. And this is just a collection of riffs and other samples for the band, Azazel.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
Last edited by DragTheWaters11 at Jul 5, 2010,
#9
Quote by LessThanLuke
Don't ever call this "groove" again.

You're absolutely correct.

Technical Groove Metal creates it's groove from simply the riffs themselves!

It has nothing to do with bass and drums.

Good job, bro.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#10
You realize... groove is mostly in the rhythm section. Rhythm section being bass and drums. Why do you get so defensive and feel the need to explain to anyone why you did what you did? You came here for crits, don't get defensive when you get some that you don't like.

Now, onto the crit:

Riff A - Not very groovy at all. It doesn't flow either. I mean I guess it could be an intro of sorts.. but that's about it.

Riff B - Starts off promising. Shouldn't repeat it twice though in the beginning. Now at bar 10 it sounds a bit too chaotic. Make the drums hold up a beat starting here. Y'know, to give it some groove and meaning. It has potential.

Riff C - Pretty standard deathcore riff. The attempt at a "Circle Pit" (for lack of a better word) section is laughable, honestly. The drums just don't fit. At all.

Riff D - Sounds like some bad hardcore breakdown.

Where does the groove start?

Riff E - It has potential. It's not all bad. Get rid of bars 43 and 44 though. Good drums over this could do wonders. Best thing you've written so far is from Bars 46-49.

Riff F - You've confused me. What is this supposed to be? There's nothing to crit. You've given us 6 power chords in an uninteresting rhythm. Remember, 8th notes are not groovy.

Riff G - This reminds me of an elevator falling... It has potential. Needs more variation though. Add a little something to it. Maybe a triplet 16th run? Something else.

Riff H - I can feel this. So far this is the best riff. I enjoy this one. You just really need to change bass notes every now and again. If anything, this is the one that could be a chorus.

Riff I - I almost didn't crit it until I saw the lead. Sounds very stereotypical of bad death metal bands.

Riff J - Adding chromaticism =/= not metalcore. This is DEFINITELY metalcore. And bad metalcore at that. Variation man!

Riff K - Sounds like... bad A7X.

Riff L - Finally! Drums! Let's get some life! It does not sound bad. Good riff to build up the speed for a song at a live show. Keep.

Riff M and N - Introed very nicely. Sounds like my band when I had about a year of experience though... (I hope you realize that "Riff N" is not a riff at all... it's a held out note with some drums underneath)

Riff O - I got nothing. It's not good.

Riff P - Get some drums! ASAP! This has potential. Not bad... until you ruined it with the last two bars :/

You seem to suffer from "5 fret syndrome" in which you only know 5 frets and an open note: 0, 1, 4, 5, 6, 7. You need to expand. You sound like you don't know what you're doing honestly. Yes, they're a bunch of riffs, but you know a riff is good when you don't need drums to make it that way. And yes... there is no "groove" at all. Even when the drums are there. It, honestly, sounds like standard hardcore (see: Pride Kills). Not even Technical. Or Death Metal.

Most of it just needs to be scrapped.

If you're still up for it, C4C Dead Bird in my sig or here.
#11
Don't put something up and then complain when people criticize it.

A: Simple but heavy. It works fine, though I'm not sure I'm fond of how the drums work with it.
B: I've gotta agree with everybody else. The 13/16 is just awkward sounding.
C: I like this riff. Primal and bludgeoning. However, I do not like how just the guitar plays it first and then the drums come in. It's not a very effective drop-off in my opinion.
D: Maybe. I'd really have to hear drums with this one to get a good feel for it.
E: Too much variation. Find the parts of it that you really like and stick with those. Bars 43 and 44 can be cut.
F: I can see this being a good build-up with drums and palm muting. Same as D, obviously needs drums for it to have and effect.
G: I like this one. Somewhat dissonant but it's got a lot of drive and power.
H: A quick notational note. Bar 72 could be 2/4 with simply the open power chord and then the rest of it in 4/4. It would fit nicer and you could cut the last half note power chord at the end of the riff. It sounds awkward playing a half note power chord followed by a whole note power chord in the next riff like you have it. I've attached a file showing you what I mean here. It's a pretty good riff.
I: This could really use some expansion. It's not bad, but it doesn't feel like a real idea either.
J: This one is weak, unfortunately. That's really the only word I can think of for it.
K: Got to go. K is by far my least favorite riff here.
L: A good build-up. I like the energy that the drums bring here.
M: I like this one a lot too. Just a nice pounding riff. Quite good.
N: Not much to say here. I kind of like the drums here and I kind of don't.
O: Please cut this. I don't know why it's there in the first place.
P: I like this... but not in this song. It seems like a totally different feel and very out of place. Maybe in context it would work better but until there's some drums and bass, I've gotta tell you to save this bit and put it in another tune.

This is an obvious work in progress and definitely not a song yet. It needs some serious focus and cutting.
Attachments:
WIP revision.gp5
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
Last edited by DaddyTwoFoot at Jul 6, 2010,
#13
Quote by DaddyTwoFoot
Don't put something up and then complain when people criticize it.

A: Simple but heavy. It works fine, though I'm not sure I'm fond of how the drums work with it.
B: I've gotta agree with everybody else. The 13/16 is just awkward sounding.
C: I like this riff. Primal and bludgeoning. However, I do not like how just the guitar plays it first and then the drums come in. It's not a very effective drop-off in my opinion.
D: Maybe. I'd really have to hear drums with this one to get a good feel for it.
E: Too much variation. Find the parts of it that you really like and stick with those. Bars 43 and 44 can be cut.
F: I can see this being a good build-up with drums and palm muting. Same as D, obviously needs drums for it to have and effect.
G: I like this one. Somewhat dissonant but it's got a lot of drive and power.
H: A quick notational note. Bar 72 could be 2/4 with simply the open power chord and then the rest of it in 4/4. It would fit nicer and you could cut the last half note power chord at the end of the riff. It sounds awkward playing a half note power chord followed by a whole note power chord in the next riff like you have it. I've attached a file showing you what I mean here. It's a pretty good riff.
I: This could really use some expansion. It's not bad, but it doesn't feel like a real idea either.
J: This one is weak, unfortunately. That's really the only word I can think of for it.
K: Got to go. K is by far my least favorite riff here.
L: A good build-up. I like the energy that the drums bring here.
M: I like this one a lot too. Just a nice pounding riff. Quite good.
N: Not much to say here. I kind of like the drums here and I kind of don't.
O: Please cut this. I don't know why it's there in the first place.
P: I like this... but not in this song. It seems like a totally different feel and very out of place. Maybe in context it would work better but until there's some drums and bass, I've gotta tell you to save this bit and put it in another tune.

This is an obvious work in progress and definitely not a song yet. It needs some serious focus and cutting.

Lol.

This isn't a song, just a collection of riff ideas (i said that).

But thank you.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God