#1
C4C

I write this song, for all the soliders
who put their lives in the line of fire
it's not fair that they risk it all everyday
and back home are a bunch of liars

I write this song for the moms and the teachers
the unsung heroes
for all the times that we lied to you
and thought that we got away with it
but you always did know.

You were right
I was wrong
All Along All Along
You were right
and i was wrong
Now all i have to give
is a song

I write this song for all the artists
who struggle every day
trust me friends i'm right there with ya
i walk your walk, and feel your pain

you were right
i was wrong
all along all along
you were right
i was wrong
oh so wrong
now all i have to give
is a song

a song is all i ever wanted
a song is all it is
a song is what you make it to be
a song is what i can give

you were right and i was wrong
all along all along
you were and i was wrong
oh so wrong
now i have nothing to give
but this song


whatcha think?
#2
I write this song, for all the soliders
who put their lives in the line of fire
it's not fair that they risk it all everyday
and back home are a bunch of liars
It's alright for an opener. Concepts good, just doesn't quite flow so well.

I write this song for the moms and the teachers
the unsung heroes
for all the times that we lied to you
and thought that we got away with it
but you always did know
.

This one just doens't make sense at all really. Again the concept is there, but there's no set pattern whatsoever. It just seems like a letter here, not a poem or song.

You were right
I was wrong
All Along All Along
You were right
and i was wrong
Now all i have to give
is a song
It's alright, just can't get around who was right, and why you were wrong. I know it's your chorus and all, but it doesn't tie into the rest of the song.

I write this song for all the artists
who struggle every day
trust me friends i'm right there with ya
i walk your walk, and feel your pain


Nothing flashy, but it works.

a song is all i ever wanted
a song is all it is
a song is what you make it to be
a song is what i can give


Now this is good, it works nicely as a bridge to what I think you need to work on for a better chorus. This is simple and the repeating of "a song is...", I think really helps the song out. A bridge can be as memorable as a chorus when done right.

Needs a bit of work, but even some small tweaks could improve it greatly. Good work and keep on writing.