#1
This is a song I'm writing about the current state of modern music... Still need to write a chorus but these are the two verses.. The music has a ska vibe with an arabian twist...

Verse:
Let's fortify and redesign this outdated style
Let 'em know, let it show that we will be here for awhile
Just a tiny incision on this musical vision
My decision, my revision...
It doesn't make sense to me(a love song on the radio)
Is this the way it's supposed to be(has everyone lost their soul)
This won't fill the hole in your soul, won't fill the hole

Verse2:
Auto tune, an excuse for no vocal ability
There's no passion when they play this money makers melody
So let me inform you on my position
I don't need any rehab for my musical addiction
But there's gotta be a cure for this musical affliction
Artificial life in the market place, goodbye reality
The superficial embraced

Chorus:
Let's burn it to the ground
And we will rebuild it all again
This music is my life and my life I will defend
just a quick-money scheme of the marketing machine
Kick this shit back to the real world
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
Last edited by Descendent-182 at Jul 6, 2010,
#2
dude, this 'song' is amazing. i like what you have so far. sounds good. msg me on ug so we can look at taking this song to another level. k? im liking it man
#4
I lengthened the verses by almost 2. In my mind, I have the verses sounding like a free-style rap, and the (pre??)chorus sounding like... well, music. It has the 'Cant Stop' or 'Tell Me Baby' sound by the Chili Peppers. (listen to them if you havent heard those songs already) It, in my mind, sounds more like Cant Stop... but hey, its your song. Lemme know what ya think.
#5
Yup fairly obvious your derision and distaste towards the modern music scene. I do think however that you need to narrow down your criticisms.. The modern day music industry as in the popular music industry is what you're getting at because there's no doubt that - scratch the surface of the auto-tune tainted, money obsessed pop world - you will find so many good sounds out there today! Real music's not dead yet man keep the faith!


"Let's fortify and redesign this outdated style
Let 'em know, let it show that we will be here for awhile
Just a tiny incision on this musical vision
My decision, my revision...

*You get across here how you want a world in which music portrays human emotions and thoughts rather than those of a mass machine - flows well I get the feel of the rap you're intending*[/I]

It doesn't make sense to me(a love song on the radio)
Is this the way it's supposed to be(has everyone lost their soul)

*Liked these 2 lines the way they get across the message of unfeeling in pop lyrics*

Come fill this hole in my soul, come fill this hole
*This lines the one that sticks out for me. Just the amount of repetition from the line above using the word soul and then the repetitiveness of the line itself. I can imagine how it would go alright in a rap song but it has no real impact. Also I thought the subject was you and the music you're making "saving" so to speak, the modern music scene and so this line again doesn't really fit.*"
#7
Right on dude, you hit the nail on the spot. Easily the best thing I've read the last couple of days. This is exactly the point I was trying to get across in my song that I "cowrote" instant music in this forum only I think you did a far better job. Two thumbs up bro, keep up the good work.
#9
I edited a bit.. I made sure to not change the feel of the song, and to keep the message the same. Lemme know what ya think about it.

Verse:
Let's fortify and redesign this outdated style
Come to my show, be prepared to go wild.*
Let 'em know, let it show that we will be here for awhile
Have my name be known, have it on file.*
Just a tiny incision on this musical vision
The nation will be in division*
Once I make my decision, and my musical creation*
It doesn't make sense to me(a love song on the radio)
Is this the way it's supposed to be(has everyone lost their soul)
This won't fill the hole, *the hole in your soul*

Verse2:
Auto tune, an excuse for no vocal ability
There's no passion when they play this money makers melody
So let me inform you on my position
Im here to give a musical recarnation*
This era needs a musical detoxification*
I don't need any rehab for my musical addiction
But there's gotta be a cure for this musical affliction
Artificial life in the market place, goodbye reality
The superficial embraced

Chorus:
Let's burn it to the ground
And we will rebuild it all again
This music is my life and my life I will defend
just a quick-money scheme of the marketing machine
Kick this shit back to the real world
#10
Also, i feel the

It doesn't make sense to me(a love song on the radio)
Is this the way it's supposed to be(has everyone lost their soul)
This won't fill the hole, *the hole in your soul*

would make a GOLDEN pre-chorus.
#12
dont worry about it champ
but! when this song is played on the radios... i want some credit, just a bit of it. k? cool. hah