#1
I could use some constructive criticism

I have to know your name first
then you show me all your faces
then we share embraces
if you just don't lie

if I just don't lie

and in the weekend
we say our love is over
but we'll kiss on monday
if you just don't lie

if I just don't lie

there's a darkness in life that some never find
when you there arrive you'll know it's in your mind
your friend will become your frightening foe
but you just keep on going with your silly solo

I have to know your name first
then you show me all your faces
then we'll share embraces
if we just don't lie
Last edited by Karel Juwet at Jul 8, 2010,
#4
I'm still unclear as to what the meaning is in your writing. I can relate the lines to what I went through, but the "if i just don't lie" line really confuses me. Other then that its very good