#1
I wrote this song yesterday, it's simplistic but it says what I want it to say. I recorded an mp3 which is really really rough with loads of mistakes, but gives you an idea at least. Crit for crit.

Honeybee mp3

Honeybee


London Bridge and the Northern Line
Back to my hometown
I disappeared, you didn’t want me there
Couldn’t stand to have me around

I board the train as you drive away
I listen to Mumford & Sons
Head on the window, feet on the chair
I wonder where it all went wrong

I need to rebuild, after my heart filled
And burst at the seams
I’ll stitch it up, and I’ll call it bad luck
To protect my self-esteem
You’re a honeybee,
I should’ve known that you’d sting me.

The underground so warm
So hot this time of day
Kings Cross station, I’m nearly home
And you’ve nearly got your space.

I need to rebuild, after my heart filled
And burst at the seams
I’ll stitch it up, and I’ll call it bad luck
To protect my self-esteem
You’re a honeybee,
I should’ve known that you’d sting me.