#1
Hai guyz, I'm back. This song took me quite a while to write, since I wrote it completely on Guitar Pro. It's the longest song that I've ever wrote (10 minutes and 30 seconds) and it was really fun to write. It lacks a conventional structure, since it's always changing and has a ton of riffs. It also has two solos and a little surprise at the end, so don't just turn it off when the song ends Maybe it's not as good as my other deathgrind(ish) song but I still really like it. Hope you enjoy!

EDIT: I forgot to mention but C4C is applied here lol.
Attachments:
Deathgrind Song 5.zip
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jul 6, 2010,
#2
Very nice.
Really liked that slower part after that little break.
Thumbs up!
#3
Quote by Shadeth
Very nice.
Really liked that slower part after that little break.
Thumbs up!


Thanks man! Do you have something from you for me to crit?
Also, **** I forgot to put C4C on the title lol, I knew I was forgetting something.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#4
Don't have anything yet to show, but as soon as I have, I'll show it to you.
#5
You could title it 'Perpetual Blast' in reference to the drums. XP Joking all in good fun.

The metal part was pretty badass, but there was nothing to tie it together- it came out a riff salad. If you repeated one riff a few times throughout, it could've been held together somewhat more.

WTF Strings?! XD No, this is actually really cool. I'd say drop the bass at the end and that'd be that. Not much to crit except that the deathgrind was too all over the place and not structured whatsoever.

If you get the time, I'd appreciate it if you could crit and maybe suggest some things for this. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334590

Thanks.
#6
Quote by guitar_jew
You could title it 'Perpetual Blast' in reference to the drums. XP Joking all in good fun.

The metal part was pretty badass, but there was nothing to tie it together- it came out a riff salad. If you repeated one riff a few times throughout, it could've been held together somewhat more.

WTF Strings?! XD No, this is actually really cool. I'd say drop the bass at the end and that'd be that. Not much to crit except that the deathgrind was too all over the place and not structured whatsoever.

If you get the time, I'd appreciate it if you could crit and maybe suggest some things for this. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334590

Thanks.


Hey man, thanks for the crit, but I just want to make something clear here: I'm not going to change the song, only if I' not happy with it. Don't take this as an offense or anything, I' not pissed lol and you seem like a nice guy, but I won't change the song to please anyone, because then I would have to make a thousand of changes lol. Maybe this is against what this part of the forum was made for, but I just want to know if people find this enjoyable; these songs are for a one man project (featuring me lol) and I just want to know if you guys like this song, find it boring, lame, etc, etc. Sorry if I sound cocky, arrogant or something and I know that most of the songs here are works in progress, but I don't see my songs like that :/
And yes, if a lot of people find this song crap, I will completely scrap it and maybe recycle some riffs on other songs lol. I know that alot of people find this kind of song structure (or lack of lol) not enjoyable, I was listening to a lot of Cryptopsy (speacially the Mike DiSalvo era, which was alot more chaotic than the albums before and after that) when I was writing this song.

Sorry for this long-ass rant, and sorry again If I sound arrogant, because that's something that I'm not lol. And I know that I should refrain from lolling so much (lol).
Also, I didn't forget to crit your song, I'm gonna do it right now.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#7
meh realllllly not my style but i lovedddddddd your solo. beautiful shit there dude. Im disapointed that the rest of the song was very generic in terms of the genre =/...
But each solo was a 9 or 10 / 10 for me. Great stuff.

Oh btw your outro. beautiful stuff. piano could use some more chords in there though.

sorry not much of a crit.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334859
#8
So grindcore. Ok let's do it.
But I don't know how to crit this. I didn't enjoy most of the riff in the first half. Why? Because they lack originality (ok that's not a good argument for brutal brindcore). This is how I feel it. Maybe if you get a really good tone it could be better.

This song has the same problems that an album I bought (Mumakil's "Behold the Failure").
Most of the song are just brutal without any purpose. If it's not REALLY good, it doesn't interest me.

That was the first half. Then from bar. 122 til the end... do not change anything!
Here you use your skills to create something and you did it well. The solo section made me think of Obscura.

The end with some orchestred stuff was great. It's a good transition between tracks.


Good/bad job on this one (depending the half).
#9
Quote by grooaarrhh
So grindcore. Ok let's do it.
But I don't know how to crit this. I didn't enjoy most of the riff in the first half. Why? Because they lack originality (ok that's not a good argument for brutal brindcore). This is how I feel it. Maybe if you get a really good tone it could be better.

This song has the same problems that an album I bought (Mumakil's "Behold the Failure").
Most of the song are just brutal without any purpose. If it's not REALLY good, it doesn't interest me.

That was the first half. Then from bar. 122 til the end... do not change anything!
Here you use your skills to create something and you did it well. The solo section made me think of Obscura.

The end with some orchestred stuff was great. It's a good transition between tracks.


Good/bad job on this one (depending the half).


You kinda hit the nail on the head, my stuff is far from original :/ But the deathgrind part is that bad? And could you give me more especific tips on how to be more original.

EDIT: And I like Mumakill, they are one of my influences :/
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jul 7, 2010,
#10
the intro was bleh. it starts to pick up at 31, thats when it gets good! the song seems a bit repetative to me, the solo was good, it was kinda basic but thats ok. i like the time signature changes at 76. 97 was cool, i usually dont like when people to harmonic intervals with bends but its sounds good here. the solo at 122 was good, it reminded me a bit of necrophagist. bar 131 doesnt sound right though. like there are notes that are wrong. bar 142 was cool. i like the gravity blast at 160, im a sucker for them :P the solo at 187 was good also. 199 was the best part, what happened at 215? i like the outro it was sad yet evil sounding


C4C? please!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334249
#11
I am not gonna give a full crit. But the opening riff sounds like Surgical Torture By Impaled, just with a few random notes thrown in. Not to mention, Impaled's riff sounds better.

Your music reminds me a LOT of Dying Fetus, and I say that with extra emphasis. If you threw in a few bass sweeps, I would probably mistake this for a Dying Fetus song.

The riff at bar 76 is really, really annoying. Take it out. And honestly, there's not a single good part, imo, until bar 122. And by the way, THAT PART WAS ****ING AWESOME.

And it all sounds really good until about bar 156...

But unfortunately, I don't have time to listen further. Sounds decent from what I heard 6.25/10.

I'd hate to ask this because of a half crit, but C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334993
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#12
Quote by Ometh
You kinda hit the nail on the head, my stuff is far from original :/ But the deathgrind part is that bad? And could you give me more especific tips on how to be more original.

EDIT: And I like Mumakill, they are one of my influences :/


I'm not much into that style but I try to understand what's going on in the most brutal/technical today's genre. To answer your two questions:

- The rhytm of the riffs are good but I don't like your note choice. I don't know how to express it better. Maybe it's because your riff are too "punk" for me. I dunno.


- Here are some of the very agressive stuff I have pleasure to listen to. This is the only simple thing I can do to help you.

Anaal Nathrakh - Between Shit And Piss We Are Born (I didn't find "Bellum Omnium Contra Omnes")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rymgm3jcuWc
Why? Listen 2:23. I mean this riff as exactly the groove I'm looking for. Brutal and groove. Furthemore here the agressivity is needed by the aesthetic of the song.

Benighted - Nemesis (the sound is bad :/)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9vkS6wl1hY
Why? Here you have original riffs.

Mumakill - Barbecue in Bhopal (this one with 2-3 others are the only songs I liked)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHg7uz8gxeQ&feature=related
Why? the first 13 seconds are what I don't like. It appears to be too much without meaning. Then the second riff kicks in and brings immediate pleasure.

And eventually BTBAM as BTBAM is ALWAYS relevant ^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W71Id0PxwL4
From 0:43 and then 1:09. I find this more violent and groovy than ultra fast blast beats. Same thing at 4:17.

Hope you will see what I mean.
#13
Quote by DragTheWaters11
I am not gonna give a full crit. But the opening riff sounds like Surgical Torture By Impaled, just with a few random notes thrown in. Not to mention, Impaled's riff sounds better.

Your music reminds me a LOT of Dying Fetus, and I say that with extra emphasis. If you threw in a few bass sweeps, I would probably mistake this for a Dying Fetus song.

The riff at bar 76 is really, really annoying. Take it out. And honestly, there's not a single good part, imo, until bar 122. And by the way, THAT PART WAS ****ING AWESOME.

And it all sounds really good until about bar 156...

But unfortunately, I don't have time to listen further. Sounds decent from what I heard 6.25/10.

I'd hate to ask this because of a half crit, but C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334993


I don't listen to Impaled, so yeah that was not on purpose (and that's maybe why I should listen to more death metal bands lol). And I really like me some Dying Fetus, and they are one of my biggest influences. I can understand why you find the riff at 76 annoying (it's probably because of the china cymbal thrown there lol, I sometimes make the drums annoying or funny, it's not like I try to be like that ), and I don't want to sound cocky or arrogant or sumth, but I'm not gonna change it just because you don't like it. Glad that you liked most of it. And don't worry, I'm not a douchebag, so it doesn't matter if your review is one setence or a thousand of them, I still gonna review it riff by riff

EDIT: I have misundestood your post. You hated most of the song lol.


...
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Jul 7, 2010,
#14
Quote by grooaarrhh
I'm not much into that style but I try to understand what's going on in the most brutal/technical today's genre. To answer your two questions:

- The rhytm of the riffs are good but I don't like your note choice. I don't know how to express it better. Maybe it's because your riff are too "punk" for me. I dunno.


- Here are some of the very agressive stuff I have pleasure to listen to. This is the only simple thing I can do to help you.

Anaal Nathrakh - Between Shit And Piss We Are Born (I didn't find "Bellum Omnium Contra Omnes")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rymgm3jcuWc
Why? Listen 2:23. I mean this riff as exactly the groove I'm looking for. Brutal and groove. Furthemore here the agressivity is needed by the aesthetic of the song.

Benighted - Nemesis (the sound is bad :/)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9vkS6wl1hY
Why? Here you have original riffs.

Mumakill - Barbecue in Bhopal (this one with 2-3 others are the only songs I liked)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHg7uz8gxeQ&feature=related
Why? the first 13 seconds are what I don't like. It appears to be too much without meaning. Then the second riff kicks in and brings immediate pleasure.

And eventually BTBAM as BTBAM is ALWAYS relevant ^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W71Id0PxwL4
From 0:43 and then 1:09. I find this more violent and groovy than ultra fast blast beats. Same thing at 4:17.

Hope you will see what I mean.


Man thanks for the comment, I told you to gimme examples but I just wanted to be a **** lol, but you really did it. The examples you game were brutal as hell, except BTBAM (I used to be a fan of them, but I'm not anymore, not going to say anything more so I don't start a shitfest lol) and specially Benighted, because I didn't knew them and I'm now a fan lol, but that's not the sound I'm looking for; in this song I wanted a more grindcorish, chaotic approach. Also, at the 43 seconds of the BTBAM song, that part is a breakdown, and I don't use them. I prefer slams, like in Brutal/Slam Death Metal. IMO this (listen to the begining, end, or 1:39, those slams are amazing, speacially the part next to it when one guitar slams syncopated with the vocals and the other just chugs away, god I sound like a wigger lol) makes headbang alot more than a metalcore/hardcore breakdown. But that's just my opinion. Our tastes in music are not that compatible, but still thank you for trying to help me anyway, you seem like a nice person


And I should start refraining from making long posts, this shit is tiring lol.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#15
Quote by Ometh
I don't listen to Impaled, so yeah that was not on purpose (and that's maybe why I should listen to more death metal bands lol). And I really like me some Dying Fetus, and they are one of my biggest influences. I can understand why you find the riff at 76 annoying (it's probably because of the china cymbal thrown there lol, I sometimes make the drums annoying or funny, it's not like I try to be like that ), and I don't want to sound cocky or arrogant or sumth, but I'm not gonna change it just because you don't like it. Glad that you liked most of it. And don't worry, I'm not a douchebag, so it doesn't matter if your review is one setence or a thousand of them, I still gonna review it riff by riff

EDIT: I have misundestood your post. You hated most of the song lol.

...

No, I didn't hate most of the song. lol. It was just a little, teeny bit too chaotic at times.

But I loved that one part in the middle. Everything in the middle of the song was fantastic.

So no, I didn't hate it. lol
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#16
Quote by DragTheWaters11
No, I didn't hate most of the song. lol. It was just a little, teeny bit too chaotic at times.

But I loved that one part in the middle. Everything in the middle of the song was fantastic.

So no, I didn't hate it. lol


Man maybe I am dumb but I can't find any info on that song by Impaled. I've searched through their entire discography at EM and nothing :/ Could you link me to some place were I can listen to it lol, the fact that you say that they are so close is bugging me.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#17
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD


If this weren't in GP form, or if you were in a not so well-known grind band, I'd totally worship this (not that I don't already, but I'd repeatedly orgasm to its greatness). This might just be my favorite entry in the T & C forum.

The solos are just *OHMYGODWOW*

The sheer awesomeness of the solos compensate for the blandness of some of the early riffs. Then again, not all riffs have to be awesome.

You should be like super-proud.



Ometh, have you listened to Dragged into Sunlight? If you haven't, then I recommend you do, it's the closest thing I can associate to this godly work.
lstfm

I'm a Nazi, baby
I'm a Nazi, yes I am
I'm a Nazi schatzi, you know I'll fight for the Fatherland
Last edited by The Wildchild at Jul 8, 2010,
#18
Have to say, I like this a lot!

I am one of those people that actually likes "riff salads" sooo that has a lot to do with it I'm sure. I think you did well with them, the focus on finding a killer tone for presenting the riffs is the thing...find something good and it'll be awesome.

Your solos and leads were killer, absolutely no complaints there. They fit really well and add a great dimension to the song!

As for the ending...it sounded great! I can see that it would be quite fitting to end an album with a song like this!

If you're doing C4C, I'd love to have you do this :O
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1335860