Nice Things You've Done For People That Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong...

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#1
Title is self-explanatory. I know you guys probably have stories.

Mine:

A few years ago a girl I know (just a friend) agreed to go with me to a dance. I was grateful, so I got her a bouquet of a dozen yellow roses that night to show my appreciation.

She loved them. The night went pretty well; we danced and whatnot but nothing serious.

Well, a few weeks later, I'm talking to her online and she brings up the roses. When I asked why, she informed me that when she put them in a vase, they got too close to a candle in her room while she was eating dinner and burned the entire inside of her room.

So now she associates that fire and the devastation with me, and my roses.

GO!
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#4
Quote by leg end
Oh crap man. I guess that possible relationship went up in flames


Pretty much.


She's somehow evolved into a stupid hillbilly now though so I guess it's probably best that it ended where it did. I can't stand her anymore.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#5
I think any relationship issues with her really stemmed from that occasion

Epiphone Les Paul Standard w/ SD Alnico Pro II's
Fender Aerodyne Telecaster & Stratocaster
Marshall JCM 800 4104 combo


E-Married to Funny_Page
#6

my story "sure you can borrow my car, just dont crash lol"
they flipped it
now extra flamey
#7
I was doing something nice for my penis and then BOOM! - Something not very nice happened to the carpet.
Quote by apple_apple
oh my god! guitarViking is a genius... respect !!!

I'm GuitarViking! Don't you forget it!
#8
Well a few years back I got these really nice booth tickets for Abraham Lincoln and his wife to enjoy a night at the Ford Theatre...


Poop.


Yes, poop.
#9
I paid for a plane for the lead singer of Lynyrd Skynyrd, just thought I'd be nice. Ya'll know how that worked out.
#10
I stopped 4 guys from beating up on this dude at reno, only to get a collapsed lung when it was over.

i pretty much just yelled and ran at them and they fled, crazy thing is i'm a jogger with an slim body.
My Gear:
epiphone les paul cusom, Limited edition. evo dimarzio pick ups
Parker P-38
epiphone hummingbird
line 6 flextone
crate vtx 120

head full of ideas.
#11
My dad took our 5 year old cat into the vet because i suggested he get looked at for what looked like blood coming out of his eye. So my dad took him in, turns out it was just an infection, not blood. No big deal....until the poor little guy had a reaction to a shot that he's had before and died.

LICKY, LICKY LOLLIPOP


Quote by soundjam
Which is why you eat funions. All the deliciousness of fried onions without disgusting lukewarm onion snake.
#12
Quote by GuitarViking
I was doing something nice for my penis and then BOOM! - Something not very nice happened to the carpet.

Oh, you DO want a free demo?
#13
Quote by MattAnderson111
Well a few years back I got these really nice booth tickets for Abraham Lincoln and his wife to enjoy a night at the Ford Theatre...




I was coming up to shake Mr. Lincoln's hand for ending the war, but I stumbled and the hand in my pocket knocked loose the hammer on my pistol...small world, eh?
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 73-78
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 2-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 24-7
#14
Let mom use computer


Forgot to clear history


Realize what I've just done


...




*took a second*



...



FUCK ME IN THE ASS!!!!!!! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD




I'd tried to stop her but it was too late.


She found it all bros....Hentai, fisting, BDSM,Gangbangs


That was the most embarrassing soulcrushing conversation I've ever had with anyone after she stopped screaming.


OH THE SHAME


OH THE FUCKING SHAME!!!!!!!
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#15
Quote by /PurpleWhalez/
*mother bear finds porn*

I nearly had that the other day...

My Mum was using my laptop and I remembered the previous night I gave the Bishop a tug and couldn't remember deleting the history. I hadn't

But, she doesn't use Google Chrome, she used Firefox otherwise I woulda been as screwed as that hot blonde girl I spilt my beans over.
#16
Quote by /PurpleWhalez/
She found it all bros....Hentai, fisting, BDSM,Gangbangs


You are one sick fuck
Quote by theogonia777
and then there's free jazz, which isn't even for musicians.

Quote by Born A Fool
As my old guitar teacher once said: Metal really comes from classical music. The only difference is pinch harmonics, double bass, and lyrics about killing goats.
Last edited by Dream Floyd at Jul 6, 2010,
#17
My friend always talked about this shirt, sweatpants, hoodie and and bag of her favorite band that she wanted. She's obsessed with this band and really wanted these clothes and the bag.

I bought her them except for the hoodie. It cost $108 overall.

She declined them saying she doesn't like accepting expensive gifts. Now I can't a refund.
If Rock is a life-style, then Metal's an addiction

Yelloooow!


Of The


UG Challenge

#18
Quote by leg end
I nearly had that the other day...

My Mum was using my laptop and I remembered the previous night I gave the Bishop a tug and couldn't remember deleting the history. I hadn't

But, she doesn't use Google Chrome, she used Firefox otherwise I woulda been as screwed as that hot blonde girl I spilt my beans over.


You do know there's a porn mode in Chrome? Press ctrl, shift, N, it'll open a new window that doesn't save cookies, history, anything.
Quote by theogonia777
and then there's free jazz, which isn't even for musicians.

Quote by Born A Fool
As my old guitar teacher once said: Metal really comes from classical music. The only difference is pinch harmonics, double bass, and lyrics about killing goats.
#19
yea, that's why I use two browsers - Opera and Firefox - and Opera only for porn. Not accepting almost none cookies, not saving history, anything. Clean and fresh all the time. Even empties its basked (cleans the cache on exit).

Only trouble could be the bookmarks though, thankfully mom never uses them.
Marshall MG15DFX
Line 6 Spider III
Squier Strat Standard
Ibanez RG350EX
Dunlop Jimi Hendrix Signature Wah
#20
Quote by Dream Floyd
You are one sick fuck



Don't you dare tell me you've never thought about sticking your entire fist up a chicks ass.


DON'T YOU DARE!
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#21
There is a feature like that on the new internet explorer now, Microsoft tries to humour us by advertising it to people who want to buy things for loved ones online but still keep it a surprise, but we all know they are aiming it to teenagers who forget to delete their browsing history after masturbating furiously.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#22
Quote by Dream Floyd
You do know there's a porn mode in Chrome? Press ctrl, shift, N, it'll open a new window that doesn't save cookies, history, anything.

I fudging love you man!
#23
One time I was watching the President go past in his motorcade, then I saw a gunman on this grassy hill, so I tried to shoot him from the book depository I was in.


Quote by Spoonman69
Rap is music,far better than metal for example. id much rather hear about hoes and anal sex than dragons and supressed homosexuality.
#24
There is also private browsing in firefox. Ctrl+Shift+P. Press it again when you are done and it'll go back to where you were before you started. Nothing is saved.
#25
Quote by TurboJaw
There is also private browsing in firefox. Ctrl+Shift+P. Press it again when you are done and it'll go back to where you were before you started. Nothing is saved.



HOLY SHITBALLS.


Thank you.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#26
Quote by Dream Floyd
You do know there's a porn mode in Chrome? Press ctrl, shift, N, it'll open a new window that doesn't save cookies, history, anything.

No, man. It's incognito mode.

#28
Quote by kirbyrocknroll
No, man. It's incognito mode.



Which means its incognitovly used for your porn viewing pleasure.
Quote by Union Jake
just straight up normal male group jerking session, it was like i was on my own aprt from getting kinda bumped into and the weird noises.
Wait what?

Quote by bodyheatseeker

You earned your name, pal.
#29
Tried to send an album, sent porn to my ex girlfriend. Not the normal kind either....Jesus i don't even like talking about it tbh. Urghhh.....


She's never mentioned it. We've never even talked about it, but she knows everything now.

I've organized various retorts should she ever use it against me.


*shivers*

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#31
Quote by /PurpleWhalez/
Don't you dare tell me you've never thought about sticking your entire fist up a chicks ass.


I don't think ; I do. I'm more of a hands-on (fists-on) kinda guy.
Quote by theogonia777
and then there's free jazz, which isn't even for musicians.

Quote by Born A Fool
As my old guitar teacher once said: Metal really comes from classical music. The only difference is pinch harmonics, double bass, and lyrics about killing goats.
#32
Quote by leg end
I fudging love you man!


You're welcome.
Quote by theogonia777
and then there's free jazz, which isn't even for musicians.

Quote by Born A Fool
As my old guitar teacher once said: Metal really comes from classical music. The only difference is pinch harmonics, double bass, and lyrics about killing goats.
#33
Quote by kirbyrocknroll
No, man. It's incognito mode.



Dude, we all know it's just porn mode.
Quote by theogonia777
and then there's free jazz, which isn't even for musicians.

Quote by Born A Fool
As my old guitar teacher once said: Metal really comes from classical music. The only difference is pinch harmonics, double bass, and lyrics about killing goats.
#35
Quote by vegetoe01
Helped lift my friends marshall 4x12 cab out of his car.

Tripped over his marshall head left behind the car, and landed on his dean guitar. Snapped it in half.


You did him a favor
#36
Quote by SNAbadboy
You did him a favor



,--.-'-,--.
\ /-~-\ /
/ )' a a `( \
( ( ,---. ) )
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A PIG
\ `(_o_o_)' /
\ `-' /
| |---| |
[_] [_]
#37
I once threw a party, partially with the intent of allowing a certain two people I know to get to know each other, with the intent of them dating at some point in the future. However, the girl got asked out by another dude the day before the party. However, she came anyway, with her boyfriend, to the party.
My Male friend, whom I was trying to set up, had already been on a losing streak with the ladies prior to this. When the couple previously mentioned started making out, I noticed my friend start to cry and run out the door. I looked outside for him, but I didn't see a trace. I figured he'd just gone home to calm down and think of something else for a while. That's also what his mom thought when he spent the rest of the night completely silent in his room. He was found having hung himself the next morning.
Later that day, before they even knew, the couple broke up on an unrelated issue.
I Want One!!!

The Kraftwerkers: The Society for the Appreciation of Kraftwerk
#38
Quote by Salute to Jaco
I once threw a party, partially with the intent of allowing a certain two people I know to get to know each other, with the intent of them dating at some point in the future. However, the girl got asked out by another dude the day before the party. However, she came anyway, with her boyfriend, to the party.
My Male friend, whom I was trying to set up, had already been on a losing streak with the ladies prior to this. When the couple previously mentioned started making out, I noticed my friend start to cry and run out the door. I looked outside for him, but I didn't see a trace. I figured he'd just gone home to calm down and think of something else for a while. That's also what his mom thought when he spent the rest of the night completely silent in his room. He was found having hung himself the next morning.
Later that day, before they even knew, the couple broke up on an unrelated issue.

Holy fucking shit, dude, I am sorry.
#39
Well, a long time ago, I failed an 18 year old kid in this art school entrance exam. Yeah, he was a shitty artist, but I tried to help him out by mentioning that he had a chance in architecture. Boy, was he pissed. Never found out how that turned out....
#40
Quote by donender
There is a feature like that on the new internet explorer now, Microsoft tries to humour us by advertising it to people who want to buy things for loved ones online but still keep it a surprise, but we all know they are aiming it to teenagers who forget to delete their browsing history after masturbating furiously.

Bill Gates understands their troubles from when he was a kid, looking into his neighbors window.
Quote by user_nameless
You can go ahead and sponge my bob.

/notfunnyatalljoke.


Quote by halo43
When you date a vegetarian, you're the only meat they'll ever eat.
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