#1
Shattered trust and broken dreams
mixed up with a hole through the heart,
that still keeps hanging on.
Holding out for a missed sign,
the ending to a movie you've already seen,
the sunset covered up by the clouds,
and the trees false reflection on the water.

Everything is exactly as it seems,
fool me once shame on you,
fool me twice shame on you,
fool me three times shame on you,
by the fourth time this shit starts getting old.
the queen of manipulation,
the mistress of deviation,
and the pallbearer of my heart.

I love the way it's always my fault,
I love the way you're never wrong,
I love the way it feels
to know what you're doing when I'm gone,
I love that look in your eyes,
when tears start to form and you apologize,
and smile under your breathe as you walk away,
knowing all the while tomorrow is forgiveness day.

Every action has a consequence,
even if sometimes you get the punishment,
while they do the deed.
#2
Newton's logic says you should use an apostrophe!

Not bad, but I can feel the 2nd and 3rd stanza being repetitive.
Some funkilicious vocab useage

Given the name of the piece I really was expecting the last stanza to read:
"Every Action Has A Consequence, Every Consequence Has A Reaction"

Too Much Physics
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
AMT SS-11B
Two Notes Torpedo CAB
#4
I s'pose the repetition can work, but the rhythm is very important
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
AMT SS-11B
Two Notes Torpedo CAB
#5
hahahaha this isn't a song.

And its barely a poem.

it's really just a piece of ****
#6
Then why write/post it?
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
AMT SS-11B
Two Notes Torpedo CAB